I've figured it out, and I shall now tell you all the horrible truth.
Weeks ago, the Elves - like the rest of the world in Armok's lands - awoke one morning to discover that the physics that governed their world had suddenly changed -drastically-! Density..weight.. All these things mattered, and more so than ever in combat! This was the sad truth of one elven village, who a single kobold in copper armor annihilated single handedly as their wooden weapons bounced off his armor with no effect. The mightiest among them could not bring down this little beast.
Luckily, he stole nothing, for all their shit was worthless.
An Elven counsel was convened, and it was there that one brave less wussy elf mentioned what all the others were thinking - 'What shall we do about the dwarves?! Their weapons and armor will surely now be able to crush us far more easily than they even did in the past! Their charcoaling of our trees will go unpunished!'
The elves talked and talked. For hours.. days.. they discussed how they might possibly be able to defeat the dwarves. Finally, the elder wuss hippie elf among them stood, and proclaimed 'We shall use our weeds to create a super breed of warthogs. We shall then use those warthogs to haul massive amounts of our crappy crap to the dwarves, burdening them so greatly that they will not be able to function. Their fortresses will be littered endlessly with our garbage, and all their work shall grind to a halt. They shall forever be defeated!'. One elf timidly raised his hand (as all elves do) and replied 'But we need our weed for smoking!' Several nodded in agreement, until the Elder proclaimed 'Not that weed! The other weed!'. 'Oh, the -other- weed!' they all replied, nodding their heads foolishly (as all elves do).
And so began the plot. Thousands upon thousands of pounds of trash were piled. Elephants, cougars - any animal they could fit in a cage. And upon these strange, twisted little warthogs, whose glowing eyes spoke of their untold strength, they piled massive loads that reached high, high into the sky.
And off they came.. came to destroy us!
But we have hope, oh yes..
For we have plans.. Building plans.. A floor, far above our great red liquid the elves have only dreamed of. Upon their shall our trading spot innocently sit. And from them we shall politely buy a paltry of goods from them, letting them think they have won.
Only until the lever is pulled.
And then they shall meet our bath of heat, as well as all their garbage, in one glorious fall.
Perhaps pictures of the explosion of all their crappy excuse for alcohol they bring will be engraved on all our walls one day.