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Wait for the next release. I want usable mugs damn it!

55 (71.4%)

We can use the current one. I like the big trees and slightly smarter dorfs.

17 (22.1%)

I'll take .34.11 thanks. I want to know I'll get to kill things for sure.

5 (6.5%)

Total Members Voted: 77

[Talvieno]

Thanks a million, Tomio - I can't believe I missed that. o.o

I've also hit a bit of a wall. I've reached the 40k word limit a second time. Stretching the "other quotes" into this next post now.

[Talvieno]

Second Post | Story Archives

Other Quotes:
Other quotes that were nominated, but only received one nomination.

All are alive, all were injured. Except for Fischer, I accidentally locked him in the armory.

Then it begins... The beginning of the end. The last of the great champions of the Spawn Wars have fallen from the throne - it is now up to their successors, as brilliant as they may be, to pick up the torch, and continue onwards in the bold name of Spearbreakers! Undaunted by the devilry that the demons disseminate dwarfwards, the daring dissidents of danger dare not to die, daintily dodging darts, deliberately digging downwards desperately towards death's door, distracting death itself with double doses of delicate devices, daring not to dreamily doze, distraught by dementia's deeds!

This is Spearbreakers, which the dastardly devils shall not, from dawn to dusk, destroy.

Actual achievements to date,
1. ...
2. ...
3. Managed not to kill us all.

3. PIX OR DIDN'T HAPPEN

for once, i actually deem that phrase as necessary.

Spearbreakers Lesson 1: Everything is trying to kill you. Including the cute water rodents, apparently.

If losing is fun, Spearbreakers is fucking Disney World.

I've seen forts with occasional neglect killing wounded. I don't think I've seen a succession fort where the leading cause of death was the medical staff.

I've noticed one riding a bear; are the bears in league with the Spawn? We have a bear. Is it feeding them intelligence?

Oh gods.

You're actually trying to stay alive rather than screw over Overseer (N+1) - and yet everything's still going to pot. The game is actively defying your attempts to force order on this hellhole.

Army full of pikes
Our Enemies are [NO_PAIN]
Splint is a moron

Urist McKillsThings has been happy to talk to someone lately. He has admired a tastefully disassembled necromancer lately. He is happy to have saved a caravan lately. He has taken joy in repeated and continuous slaughter lately. He has admired a fine wagon lately.

If a bunch of rabid, insane beavers built a giant dam, it would make more sense than this.

I am now picturing all Spearbreakers staff with johnny bravo hair, and I gotta say that Draignean pulls it off best.

..... Do we have one extremely disposable dwarf.

Migrants.... S-survived?
WHAT FUCKING HERESY IS THIS!?

That would only be logical, but this is Spearbreakers, where logic dictates you must add a mug to all equations.

gotta love it when 'hey migrants made it in' isn't a common occurence, and in fact is a tremendous accomplishment achieved with blood, sweat and war.

Spearbreakers: Where every dwarf is a soldier, and no soldier ever dies to the enemy.*
*Warning: Hospital may cause side effects such as heavy bleeding, faintness, decapitation and death. If you have died while attending Spearbreakers Hospital, call 1555DWARF, you may have a case.

That's why I was freaked out a little it; three of them actually turned tail and tried to flee the field. They didn't get far. Paintbrush and James ran them down.

The Spawn ran away from our dwarves. What unholy circle of hell have we descended to? What have we become?!

We're so epic we'll make a blue hole when the fort divides by zero instead of a black one. Badass.

We apologize for the technical difficulties and now return you to your regularly-scheduled meta-clusterfuck.

This place makes Sparta look like preschool, and we had World War I and II for breakfast.

I have realized that, because mitch and Paintbrush didn't really add much, it only took rough 4-5 years for this place to become a veritable bedlam house, with doors leading nowhere, impossibly vertical well shafts in the hopital, rooms with no discernable purpose and is trying to literally warp and implode itself with its own utter hatred of sanity out of sheer spite because we're trying to keep this clusterfuck orderly.

When I sit and think about it, I can only think "This must've been what ThatAussieGuy felt like when he realized just how fucked up Swordthunders was...." And that feeling is both complete joy, tremendous pride, and utter existential terror.

at least we don't have husks or thralls. A Fischer Thrall would be literally unstoppable. Actually, that's a plausible apocalypse scenario, ranked up there with tidal waves and comet collisions.

Strange how few megabeasts have made an appearance, though. I wonder if the spawn managed to kill most of them off in worldgen or something.

They look at us and think "this fort slaughters Spawn for sport.  I don't even want to know what they'll do to ME."

Considering we don't know how intelligent mega and forgotten beasts are, they might do just that.
.
Bronze colossus: i'm not going over there, haven't you heard what they did to those zombie dwarf things?
Hydra: i heard those dwarves are so strong, the zombie dwarves ran away.
Dragon: i heard their champion isn't even from this world. She was set from the stars so she could kill things here.

Random non-invader goblin: AAAAAAHHH! THE SHEDEMON! PLEASE DON'T SPITROAST ME!
Fischer: okay.
Goblin: wait, I though dwarves hated us.
Fischer: at this point, I don't give a crap what you are, long as you aren't The enemy.
Goblin: ... I'm not the enemy?
Fischer: then welcome to Spearbreakers.

Also once we successfully take hell, if the enmy ever said "Go to hell dwarf!" Then that soldier could say "I will after I kill you. There's a party in the queen's dining hall down there."

"Used to be I could say, 'Go to Hell', but we've brightened the place up, and honestly, Hell's too nice for you. Instead of that... Go to Fischer."

Canon!Fischer's cells ALL function as killer T lymphocytes.

It has come to my attention recently that certain dwarves are complaining about me.

[Aseaheru]

missed some.
around the masters last reign.

[TheKaspa]

Amazing as usual.

[Lolfail0009]

Well done, Talvieno.

Ok, I've looked at the results for the poll, and if people really want to skip my turn, then thank DF for corrupting the save
I'll write a canon thing up with something to do with time and breaking things and good morning and twenty-seven and gluperschtatz.

[Splint]

Alright then. At present the result is tied to let you finish or not, but so long as there's a salvagable copy of the save somewhere we shall press on.

[Lolfail0009]

3rd Limestone:
   Klikit has not been seen since the siege started, and I know he is no traitor. I fear the worst...
   
7th Limestone:
   Klikit was found dead, alas. Other than that, another temporal break happened, and I looked into it. Once again, it was a mass moving of items, thankfully weapons and armour we can use, to a respective stockpile. It seems that these fractures occur only when nearly every dwarf is moving an item to a similar location... or when there is a large concentration of death.
   
12th Limestone:
   Rifling through the garbage dump when nobody was looking yielded a surprising amount of usable weapons, sheilds and armour. Longland took some wood and cloth and got to work.
   
14th Limestone:
   Splint was elected mayor, another sad reminder of the deaths of Galena's siege.
   
18th Limestone:
   Longland created a statue of Ashsaber II... dying. Ashsaber I will love this gift, I'm sure. Might shut him up too, with any luck.


   
22nd Limestone:
   Dicer has started to say that he "resonates with his hammer, that he is an extension of the hammer". Dafuq, as the humans say.

   
1st Sandstone:
   I am the bored.
   
11th Sandstone:
   Poor Anri II was found dead. There are too many that have passed in my reign...

   
14th Sandstone:
   Started work on a buffer room for furniture and other goods. The clutter in the workshops was driving me mad.
   
19th Sandstone:
   I don't knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww what date it is, but the 111111111111111111119th was the day that we lossssssssssssssssssssssssssssstt to the time brrrrreaks and they rippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed the world apppppppppartttttt and it wasssssssssssss Sk-- [The rest of the page is spattered with pink goo in the shapes of Idyllian runes and Void markings]
   
ждчЭЦ шйТчЬўЮТ [date unknown]:
   So, this is what kept the Darklight Ishoujitha sane. It truly is a pity that it could not continue.
   I suppose that I should explain myself. This is not the one who calls himself Nine, LFTON or Zedo writing. My name is ethereal, but you may call me... Clarity. I am the ultimate cause of these "temporal breaks" as Nine refers to them as, due to a... debate between myself and the Ishoujithadaslastar against... 'Skouro' and the legion of Voidspawn it commands. The Voidspawn won, but I... reset... the plane that Lokumokab, Spearbreakers in the Dwarven tongue, inhabits.
   
   As an... experiment... I got ςДЩЖЋЫФЯ... Spektalara... to influence the minds of the dwarves of Lokumokab to elect Nine their... Overseer. However, the residual energy became... corrupt, and time began to desintegrate. With the help of a dragon from another plane, I was able to turn the desintegration to Nine's advantage, but even his expertise wasn't enough when... well, when Skouro ripped his heart out, and ate it. As the heart was compressed by the Hydragon's jaws, time beat with it. It was... horrible.
   
   As everything was ripped apart, I reset everything. Even now, a machine in the shape of a dwarf stands to select his next Overseer. Skouro played his hand, then I played mine. Let us see how Armok draws...




Splint, the game crashed my computer upon reload.
Let the next turn begin, at the end of Tomio's reign unfortunately.

[Splint]

Alright, who wants this turn? otherwise I'll notify the next on the list.

[Aseaheru]

someone might want to dig a by-pass for the marksdwarf training room.
apparently Spawn are scary.

[Lolfail0009]

And dead, if memory serves.

[Reudh]

As long as the bridge is up, those spawn are completely safe to be potshotted at.

Also, Lolfail, is this what a Hydragon looks like?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Lolfail0009]

No, although I did recognise the similarities between Hydragon and Hydreigon when I though of the name. Think of (assuming you actually know about Pokemon and didn't just find Hydreigon's art on the interwebs) a Giratina-esque body with seven heads. And it looks like it's made of ice but it's actually frozen venom of death.

[Mr Frog]

@Talvi:

Everything's all sorted now! Yay! *applause*

[TheKaspa]

Don't want the turn, but have I been dorfed?

[Lolfail0009]

No. Sorry, but the save done blowed to bitses.