The Return of Dishmab Northmanor, the Mute Saffron SootPart 114th Galena 1152How long I have been here in this little room, with him? It feels like decades.
I glance over to the eerie mist thrall nonchalantly chewing on a cat corpse.
Every so often there is an attempt by the local militia or some civic minded adventurer to try to evict Nil and I but it never ends well for them. The scattered body parts and blood dripping from the walls and ceiling are testament to that.
The last chap was more interesting, Leslem Spoonedboys I think his name was. He was muttering something about wanting to inter the dead adventurers in some sort of tomb to the north. Sounded like a good idea to me, but Nil decided to cut him in half. I reanimated him to ask him further but he was not terribly talkative.
I saunter outside. Cat corpses lay everywhere. For some reason they are drawn to Nil. I find a strange note clenched in the hand of a severed arm, which I had not noticed before.
“Dishmab,
The Black Baron has requested you. The Black Gate opens tonight!”
The Black Baron… a glimmer of recognition flashed in my unliving mind. Stukos Stirflag was my cousin’s uncle, and a proud warrior of The Rough Labor. I wasn’t sure of the reference of the Black Gate but I did remember Stukos had taken a contingent of dwarfs of the Rough Labor, the Impervious Fist if I recall, far to the south west and set up a fort on the mouth of a river on the coast of the Water of Meditation. Ironhelm the Ocean-Castle they had grandly called it.
Wrapped in the note was a gold coin, a golden Dumaterith, 1137. A coin of the Rough Labor. How long ago had this message been sent? I searched for a while and found a few fragmented scraps of cloth and a map, the map had been updated in 1152 with the new known dwarven settlements. 1152! I had been in that hovel for twenty seven years. Gods only know what has happened to the Black Baron!
Finally I felt something stirring in my heart once more. A desire to explore. First, though, I would clean this room. Many great warriors had died here and they deserved better than to be playthings for Swifttoast. I searched and gathered as many identifiable remains as I could. I found remains of Logic Legendfinder, the first adventurer to visit the museum, Stasbo Humorbury and something belonging to Adil Wireskin, brave companion of Feb Minesizzled. These warriors deserved to reside in that tomb if anyone did. I felt a pang of guilt – I could not see any sign of Thel Indigozephyrs or Kaslun Wadsomber, whose lives I had ended. Pausing to reflect, I gathered the unrecognisable remains and left the adventurer’s home for this first time in nearly 30 years.
I stealthily travelled into the city of Dinnerwandered. Arriving at the Museum and evading the guards, I was surprised to find no new additions. What had happened to the Museum in myabsence? Were there no great adventurers left? In the centre of the room was a great collection of blood of the vampire Ustres Crestedcomets. I seem to remember Thel yelling he had slain this creature as he charged at me, weapon raised. I drink a waterskin full of this blood but feel no different.
To the guard tower to the east I went next and deposited a great number of weapons, armour and useful supplies of all sizes. The dead adventurers would not need them anymore and perhaps they would inspire a new generation.
Next, I descended to the catacombs and buried there the remains of the unknown adventurers.
It was time to set off again, and I strode purposefully northwards towards this Tomb of Heroes.
15th Galena 1152You will remember the Intesity of Masters!
I am ambushed by humans. I almost feel sorry for them, but I have not used my axe in quite a while and I relish the practice. Sadly, I think the Intensity of Masters will indeed be forgotten.
It is dark when I arrive at the outskirts of the tomb. Impalas seem to have overrun this place and they do not take kindly to my presence, scattering in fear.
At the top of a small hill, I find the entrance to the tomb lit by ever-burning campfires. Outside the entrance lies the mutilated headless corpse of Keth Tunnelpads, fearsome thresher mummy beheaded by Nil on his travels to this site. I gesture and Keth shambles into unlife. Without a head he is unable to talk, and I let him wander a while. I can’t find his head anywhere…
I deposit the remains of Logic, Stasbo and Adil in the silver sarcophagus, and place two trinkets of Logics – he was always fascinated by dragons. Never saw the attraction myself, overrated in my eyes.
Having paid my respects to the dead, I unfurl my new map. A lot has changed in 30 years. To the far east some insane overseer has attempted to build a fort on a tiny swamp island off the coast of the main continent. The Castle of Urges it is named. Sounds like a vile place, and a good place to start my new adventures.
16th Galena 1152I travel east and it is not long until I enter the Grim Hills - foul territory of the Curse of Mites. The goblins here are right to fear me. We have history. Foul pungent mucus rains from the blackened sky and harpies hoot and squabble in the distance.
Tell them it was the Intensity of Masters if you live!
Not these guys again. I am attacked by Opra Lureseizure. She seems to be missing a left hand.
I wonder who she has had a run in with before... She is no longer a threat when I hack her right arm off at the shoulder and she quickly exsanguinates. Her companion fares no better as I spill his guts and slice off his legs. These bandit attacks are becoming pathetic. Two bandits against me?
I have not travelled far when the harpies I heard earlier make themselves known. I carve open the first harpy’s chest and tear its heart. As it bleeds to death I break the skull of the second with my shield.
I pause to wash the pungent mucus off at a stream and press on eastwards. On the outskirts of the goblin civilisation I enter an encampment to find it trashed. The only survivor is a sole goblin master lasher. She has a masterwork iron whip and I find her a worthy opponent, we trade blows until I crush her skull. I take her whip and marvel at its construction. It is a weapon I am unfamiliar with although I do remember using one to incapacitate a minotaur in Crimsondepths. A glimmer of a smile crosses my face. I remember that place. A beast of fire and a bismuth bronze spider remain there and I will return to end them one day.
Not far from the ransacked camp, I spot a low squat rock formation with a curious palm door.
Entering, I am confronted by a gloom freak who appears to be mashing some bumblebees in his back room. After a short tussle I behead him. He has quite a nice house and I consider retiring here – anything would be better than sharing that room with Nil.
Not far from the lair is the goblin hamlet of Boarmenaces. It appears that goblins and dwarves cohabit here in some strange arrangement. There are dwarven corpses everywhere, so perhaps the goblins are not quite so accommodating hosts. In one house is the corpse of a dwarven trader, his goods piled high. I spot a fine pair of steel gauntlets. This trader is selling the secrets of steel to these foul goblins!
I must stop the knowledge of steel falling into goblin hands, and descend upon the town in a hurricane of blood. I slaughter every goblin I can find. I must travel to their capital to learn what they have discovered!
Sadly for my bloodthirst, the nearby capital is deserted. Goblin skeletons litter the place and they appear to have been dead for decades.
In the keep, is the corpse of the goblin Zolak Sastobub, slain by Bralbaard Tolmohathur, whose name I remember from the Tomb of Heroes. There is no glory for Dishmab Northmanor here.
17th Galena 1152After travelling further east I arrive at the coastal goblin port of Wipeticks, which is again deserted. The fort is constructed of vivid green garnierite and in the catacombs there I find a bandit encampment and an olm woman vampire, who I slaughter.
The Castle of Urges lies far off the eastern coast and I dive wordlessly into the black murk of the ocean, beginning my long swim.
18th Galena 1152Landfall on the Bog of Starving. It is about as lovely as it sounds. As soon I as I set foot on the beach I am accosted by a honey badger, whose head I bite off. Everything around me is caked in horrid slush and as I clean my equipment a small creature known as a grimeling launches itself at me. I quickly dismember it. This island is very small and is indeed only a stepping stone to the main landmass. I continue swimming south east toward the Swamp of Dreading.
I arrive at night and by dawn I spot a shambling dwarf skeleton – I must be close to this castle of Urges. What delights await me in this blighted bog, reeking of undeath?
I find the militis captain staring wistfully across the ocean. He is crisscrossed in scars and boasts of slaughtering 29 zombie storks, a mad grin on his face. I eventually find the fort itself dug into the shale of the beach. An insane clothier splashes in the froth of the waves. Despite searching for a few hours I find no further deeper structures or signs of civilisation. The stairwells are full of water and I suspect the dwarves suffered the folly of setting their foundations on an undead beach. The dwarves were clearly driven witless by the isolation, thick wormy tendrils and zombie storks.
I begin my long swim west to the mainland.
19th Galena 1152I swim for most of the day, making landfall at sunset. Bogeymen beset me as soon as I step off the beach and they do not last long.
20th Galena 1152My general direction is south west if I am to reach the far away citadel of Ironhelm the Ocean-Castle and meet the Black Baron, Stukos Stirflag. I therefore head south. The dwarven fort of Palechamber lies far to the south and this will be my next destination.
I stride southwards through the Finger of Entrails mountain range, past a looming volcano. This makes way to the Hill of Drool. The barren landscape is dead for miles.
In the Plain of Drips I am ambushed by a gang of Kobolds. I slice the nearest ones arm off.
The arm reanimates and charges for the kobold nervously slinging arrows at me. The arm is beaten to the kill, however, by me biting the bow-kobold’s head off.
I wander the haunted plains for days looking for bandits or monsters. This place is desolate. The towns are deserted and the lands are featureless.
24th Galena 1152I arrive in the Hamlet of Doommonstrous, which also is deserted. Slightly westward is the town of Singedsin and the humans there tell me of these lands, little of which is marked on my map.
An animal dissector tells me of a dragon lair!
As I leave town I notice a suspicious fishery worker wearing human bone jewellry. I renounce the vampire Duka Swallowedsinged! I hack the vampire to death in a shower of gore. His blood soaks the earth. I fill a llama wool bag with his blood and wonder if this will be more effective at transferring the curse.
26th Galena 1152Having travelled west for two days, I arrive at the Sizzling Sparks... a dragon lair! Acathi Heatflickers the Branded Diamond lunges at me. I hack off its tail with my adamantine axe, and when it rears on me, I cleave its head open. It collapses in a heap.
A bellow of rage emanates from the rear of the cavern. Acathi’s mate screams in horror and anger and unleashes a gout of fire, which glances off my steel shield. I punch and kick it, before slicing its belly open. As it lunges into me to bite me in half, I bite it back, and it falls into unconsciousness. I punch the dragon in the face, sending its teeth cascading around the cramped cave. The dragon breathes no more.
I gather up the teeth of Ongong Fireflares the Diamond of Sweltering, and place them in my pack.
Wiping the blood from my axe, I look to my map. Palechamber lies to the south east over the Foolish Hills, sinister mountains and murk. It would be far quicker to go over the terrifying mountains than around them, so I head to the peaks in the distance.
As I travel south west over the mountains I am suddenly engulfed in a cloud of heinous ash!
I collapse to the ground, choking. Bruises erupt over my body and I am affected by a creeping paralysis. My weapons and shields clatter to the ground. I crawl slowly as I feel my body shutting down.
I rummage in my pack and find the blood of the vampire I slaughtered. Gasping, I drink it down in thick clots, and lapse into unconsciousness.