Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Person]

antlion12:

Swich to agressive driving
henchdwaf 1 (now to be called urist) Taunt Caerwyn

Your cat's thoroughly ignore you, and actually move a bit slower. -1 speed +1 tile. You belch many, many, horrid things about Caerwyn, and quite possibly their mother. He is ENRAGED at all surrounding things! -1 to actions not involving RAGE for two turns. 11 kittens are born. This greatly exhausts your cats' energy.

Caerwyn:

Feed a biscuit to the boars, and have the CRIPPLED Henchdwarf try and perform, er...Emergency medical care to the, uh, wounded boar. If possible, get him to bolster the Boar's confidence! WE WILL WIN!

Your desire to win is close to overthrown due to rage against life. You shove biscuits down your boars throats violently The boars don't care much, it's still food. +1 to boars morale! The crippled dorf leaps onto the wounded boars back with a piece of stone to provide "emergency treatment" He creates a +splint+ out of stone to set the boar's leg. He proceeds to adequately set the bone, fixing it temporarily. +1 tile!

Tiruin:

Aggressive dat driving! Bardum will diagnose himself for lack of things to do!

You spur your eagles on by telling them there's plenty of food that way. +2 tiles. They still have to land for a turn. It's quite obvious my legs broken sir! I'm not quite sure what to do about that though.

HmH:

"Etur! Don't shoot the kittens yet! Put a roller onto the slingshot first, we need 'em accelerated!" Aggressive Driving. Order Etur to upgrade the Giant Slingshot with a roller, the roller itself made of one rope and one mechanism. Help Etur whenever I can afford to get distracted; I need that slingshot upgraded and operational ASAP!

Your cats speed up a bit. +2 tiles. However, your speed means your car quickly spins out of control on the ice! Many of your cats are battered against your car! 2 die, 1 is heavily injured. Lose any more cats, and your speed will drop a bit.
Etur makes a rudimentary accelerator. 2 new kittens are born, fortunately, or possible not in their case.

zomara:

YAH Boy! Burn rubber!. . . .  or wood. .. . . . no Iamhuman, i mean to go really fast, not to burn our cart. Put the fire out.

The boars ignore you mostly. +1 tile.

wolfchild:

Ok tricky stuff coming up. Driving focus

You focus on driving above all else. +2 tiles!


Evil Glacier:
(S)[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10](E)
Player Locations:
1: Nobody
2: Nobody
3: zomara0292, Caerwyn, antlion12
4: HmH, Tiruin(on ground)
5: wolfchild
Special tiles:
1: There is a pile of money on the ground. -1 to cornering if you want to try and grab some of it, and more

penalties for each person who tries.
2: You can see a herd of skeletal elk moving around.
3: Nothing out of the ordinary. Just an empty stretch of land.
4: Covered in ice. Looks slippery.
5: A heavy blizzard is covering this area. It is difficult to see. -1 to ranged attacks, -1 to cornering, and -1 to speed for animals not inside.
6: A heavy blizzard is covering this area. It is difficult to see. -1 to ranged attacks, -1 to cornering, and -1 to speed for animals not inside.

Statuses after turn 3:

Spoiler: zomara0292 (click to show/hide)

Name: Vickshotra
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities: none yet
Wearing leather armour
Vehicle Name: Magaurst
Dwarfbucks: 0☼

Parts:
Wooden chassis
Wooden Armour
Wooden Wheels
8 Cats: In cage, will begin breeding slowly when actions start.
3 Boars: Main engine. 2 Speed.
3 rock mechanisms
4 logs of wood
1 Giant eagle(semi-tame)

Henchmen:
Crippled Henchdwarf: Austri
Health: Is missing their right leg and right arm.

The leg is replaced with wood.
Abilities: Is a novice woodcrafter
Is an adequate thrower
Is an adequate mechanic
is a proficient siege operator
Insane Dwarf: Ponydwarf
Health: Fine
Insane Dwarf: Iamhuman
Health: Fine

Standing orders: Dig through the dumps for things to use for free items (after race)
throw useless items at the racers(during race)

Spoiler: Tiruin (click to show/hide)

Name: Ardul Irith
Health: Perfectly fine.
Abilities: -
Vehicle Name: Alcyone Wing
Dwarfbucks: 200☼
Parts:
Stone Chassis
Three Giant Eagles: 2 Speed
Iron Wheels

Henchmen & Orders
Bardum Thain ; Male [Crippled Henchdwarf]
Status: Has some scarring on body and arms.

Left leg broken.
Abilities:
Is an adequate leather worker
Is a proficient fighter
Is an adequate doctor
Is a novice Furnace operator

Standing Orders (Descending order of priority):
Post-Race:
> Douse any fires//Inspect status for damage
> Begin repairs of the Vehicle, if any is needed.
> Scavenge//Work for Dwarfbucks.
> Train Ability.
In-Race:
> Follow any commands by the Vehicle Overseer
> Begin repairs of the Vehicle, if any is needed.

Spoiler: antlion12 (click to show/hide)

Name:Urist Orrlith
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:none
Vehicle Name:The Sock
Dwarfbucks: 300☼
Parts:
Stone chassis
8 cats: 2 speed, exhausted.
11 kittens
Stone wheels

Henchmen:2 standard henchdwarves
both healthy
no abilities
(When one gets an ability i will give that one a name)

Standing orders:
Out of race
Look for random junk
Work for money
Repair if needed

in race
throw random junk at the racer in front of me
Throw kittens at the racer in front of me when they are born

Spoiler: HmH (click to show/hide)

Name: Bomrek Manpower
Health: Healthy
Abilities: -
Vehicle Name: Ballsy Ride
Dwarfbucks: 0 ☼

Parts:
Wood Chassis
Iron Wheels
6 Cats: 2 speed. 1 heavily injured.
4 kittens.
Giant Slingshot: Mounted on vehicle. Upgraded with roller.
     5 small rocks: No damage bonus
1 log
Terrible Lasso: -2 to use. Could THEORETICALLY grab onto things
Copper Ball Trap: Auto attacks boarders and other assailants.
Henchmen:
Normal Henchdwarf Etur, 250 ☼
Health: Fine
Abilities: None

Standing orders:
Pre-Race:
Search for spare logs, mechanisms and ropes.

On Road:
Keep loading newborn kittens into the Slingshot and shooting them at the target Bomrek specifies.
Start powering the Ball Trap when boarded by hostiles.

Spoiler: Cearwyn (click to show/hide)

Name: Grimjaw Beardbear
Health: Perfectly fine.
Abilities:
Vehicle Name: Roaring Boozebear.
Dwarfbucks: 500☼
Parts:
Wooden Chassis
Steel Wheels
3 Boars: 2 speed. Bruised all over. Distracted by elk. One is missing an eye, and has a broken leg. The bone is

set with a +stone splint+. Ate biscuits recently.
3 Biscuits
3 pieces of stone
Length of rope

Henchmen: Standard Henchdwarf,
Health: Can still walk, Urist.
Abilities:
Crippled Henchdwarf
Health: Missing an ear. Left leg chewed a bit. Left arm missing.

Right leg has lost sensory.
Abilities:
Is a proficient Siege operator
Is an adequate Animal caretaker
Is a proficient Mechanic
Is a novice Dodger
Standing orders: (In order of priority for each.)
Cripple:
Look for random junk
Work for money
Standard:
Repair the cart after race
Inspect for any sabotages
Work for money

Spoiler: wolfchild (click to show/hide)

Name: Dr Aurist
Health: Perectly Fine
Abilities:
Vehicle Name: Insanity Included
Dwarfbucks: 0

Parts: Enclosed and Fortified Stone Chassis
- Screw Pump
- Giant slingshot
    4 small rocks.
- Stone Wheels

Henchmen:

Augustus (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

Cleopatra (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

William (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

Stalin (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

Standing Orders:
Out of Race:
Scrounge for free stuff/ Make money as people laugh at you

In Race:
Follow orders --> Repel Boarders --> Repairs --> Pump

Spoiler: Persons Notes (click to show/hide)

As it turns out that my sleep cycle is ALWAYS off. This will probably be the standard update schedule.

[wolfchild]

Small question, why did you have to roll for my second tile, is not speed 4 always 2 tiles?

Driving focus

[Person]

Screw pump engine 100☼
Must have at least one henchdwarf assigned at all times. One speed per henchdwarf, to a maximum of three.

Only three dorfs can pump at a time. Your fourth is is rather unoccupied. As a side note, up until this exact moment I've forgotten that boars are supposed to attack things automatically each turn. Things are about to get a bit more violent. 

[wolfchild]

oh i missed the 3 bit

[Caerwyn]

RAGE? YOU KNOW NOTHING OF RAGE, YOU FOOL. DRIVE MY BOARS OF HELL, AND ONWARDS! NO SLIPPERY ICE SHALL STOP THE CHOSEN OF ARMOK! Also, try and ram into Antlion TO DESTROY HIS PITIFUL CATS!

[HmH]

"Etur! Target Ardul Irith's eagles! Load the rocks for now, but switch back to cats when we've entered the blizzard! Your goal is to keep the eagles from flying up - nothing else!"

Order Etur to shoot at Tiruin's eagles and prevent them from rising into the air. Tie all four kittens into the harness with their parents; withdraw the heavily injured and dead cats and let Etur have them. Drive normally.

[Frelock]

Someone needs to grappling hook wolfchild (made difficult due to the fact that nobody has one).  His strategy, while effective, is boring.  More rolls!  More chances for hilarious failure!  The spectators (well, spectator) want blood!

[HmH]

I, too, believe that wolfchild's strategy, while amazing in its own way, is inherently boring, but I am more interested in making sure that the only two people with 0 dwarfbucks - namely, him and myself - take the first two places. That way, everybody will have a more-or-less equal amount of money after the race ends.

Besides, wolfchild's cart was built like a tank: his chassis are durable and fire-resistant, the driver, the engine and the henchdwarves are protected by the chassis, and even the wheels are strong enough to withstand a good pelting with little chance of breaking. Also, he is right now on the inside of a blizzard, so I'm pretty sure I'll get a -1 if I try to shoot at him, which makes it less lucrative than shooting anyone else.

@Person: What are the damage modifiers of cats when they're used as ammunition?

[antlion12]

Henchdwarf 1 throw 2 kittens at Cearwyn

Swich back to cautious driving

Henchdwarf 2 throw 2 kittens at HmH

Edit:

@Person: What are the damage modifiers of cats when they're used as ammunition?

this has been sigged

[Tiruin]

"Careful now, lad. Thar talons don't grip easy on the ice."
"They're resting their wings, probably useful when we...enter that."

The duo looked onward, to see the wreathing winds of the blizzard coming up. Knowing this was the case, it would be a hazard to fly in that condition, but it would also be a hazard to the eagles if they were kept in the snow.

Feathers weren't made for snowy weather, mostly.

Cautious driving

"Ye think traction would help us?"
"By my calculations, we're traveling at an easy -four- GCS strides."
"Do it."

Unbeknownst to them, someone was about to send a gift - in rocks.

[wolfchild]

By the way guys i didnt realise i was building such a tank at the time, and driving focus is because of the terrain situation,but i think you maybe found my upgrade path for me

[zomara0292]

Offer my simi-tamed bird 2 cats if it can move me the equivalent of 2 tiles in this one turn. also offer it half the kittens born this race, as its own meal, after the race, if it can move me more than 4 tiles, in one turn.
If the bird agrees, prepare to switch the boar (engine) out for the cat (engine).

[Person]

@Person: What are the damage modifiers of cats when they're used as ammunition?

Er, no bonus unless the targets fleshy, but a bit of a penalty if it isn't. However, they do get to attack the target after if they can hold on. Cat behavior is a bit random though. That, and their claws probably won't damage anything stronger than wood significantly. But if they can slip inside and attack/adopt a crewmember.... Turn has been in progress, but it's taking awhile due to many distractions. I'll probably just edit this post when I'm done.

Also: Giant eagles always stay in the air. It's just that your car is heavy and they can't pull that hard forever. You COULD push them to do it, but that'd be a bad idea if you don't have a backup engine.

[Person]

Antlion:

Henchdwarf 1 throw 2 kittens at Cearwyn
Swich back to cautious driving
Henchdwarf 2 throw 2 kittens at HmH

Your cats slowly plod onward. +1 tile. The kittens hit! The hit brains them against the side of the vehicle, doing minimal damage and killing them on impact.   While the second shot ends up with the cats making a successfull landing, they shortly get smashed with copper spiked balls.     9 kittens are born, exhausting your cats further.

HmH:

"Etur! Target Ardul Irith's eagles! Load the rocks for now, but switch back to cats when we've entered the blizzard! Your goal is to keep the eagles from flying up - nothing else!" Order Etur to shoot at Tiruin's eagles and prevent them from rising into the air. Tie all four kittens into the harness with their parents; withdraw the heavily injured and dead cats and let Etur have them. Drive normally.

The rock makes a direct hit to one of the eagles wings, breaking it. The rock then bounces and hits a second eagle after the first, which severely breaks it's body! Your cats produce 12 offspring.
+1 tile.

Caerwyn:

RAGE? YOU KNOW NOTHING OF RAGE, YOU FOOL. DRIVE MY BOARS OF HELL, AND ONWARDS! NO SLIPPERY ICE SHALL STOP THE CHOSEN OF ARMOK! Also, try and ram into Antlion TO DESTROY HIS PITIFUL CATS!

A voice speaks in your head. "Your anger pleases me. Go forth and spill blood!" You're not sure what happened after that moment, but you lost control for a bit, and when you came to, antlions vehicle seems to be missing something. -4 enemy cats. +2 tiles

zomara:

Offer my semi-tamed bird 2 cats if it can move me the equivalent of 2 tiles in this one turn. also offer it half the kittens born this race, as its own meal, after the race, if it can move me more than 4 tiles, in one turn.
If the bird agrees, prepare to switch the boar (engine) out for the cat (engine).

Your eagle outright ignores you, and pecks you a bit. The boars couldn't get close enough to a racer to hit them. 1 kitten is born.

Tiruin:

"Careful now, lad. Thar talons don't grip easy on the ice."
"They're resting their wings, probably useful when we...enter that."
The duo looked onward, to see the wreathing winds of the blizzard coming up. Knowing this was the case, it would be a hazard to fly in that condition, but it would also be a hazard to the eagles if they were kept in the snow.
Feathers weren't made for snowy weather, mostly.
Cautious driving
"Ye think traction would help us?"
"By my calculations, we're traveling at an easy -four- GCS strides."
"Do it."
Unbeknownst to them, someone was about to send a gift - in rocks.

Before you can act, a rock smashes into one of the eagles, and bounces off to smash into the second. Despite their injuries, you manage to proceed 1 tile.

wolfchild:

Driving focus

You completely ignore the blizzard, being well protected and all. +2 tiles.

Evil Glacier:
(S)[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10](E)
Player Locations:
1: Nobody
2: Nobody
3: Nobody
4: zomara, antlion12
5: Caerwyn, Tiruin(on ground), HmH
6: Nobody
7: wolfchild
Special tiles:
1: There is a pile of money on the ground. -1 to cornering if you want to try and grab some of it, and more penalties for each person who tries.
2: You can see a herd of skeletal elk moving around.
3: Nothing out of the ordinary. Just an empty stretch of land.
4: Covered in ice. Looks slippery.
5: A heavy blizzard is covering this area. It is difficult to see. -1 to ranged attacks, -1 to cornering, and -1 to speed for animals not inside.
6: A heavy blizzard is covering this area. It is difficult to see. -1 to ranged attacks, -1 to cornering, and -1 to speed for animals not inside.
7: More blank land.
8: There is a shambling horde of zombie livestock here. It'll be difficult to get through without clearing a path manually.
9: Other than a small shack, rather empty.

Statuses after turn 4:

Spoiler: zomara0292 (click to show/hide)

Name: Vickshotra
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities: none yet
Wearing leather armour
Vehicle Name: Magaurst
Dwarfbucks: 0☼

Parts:
Wooden chassis
Wooden Armour
Wooden Wheels
8 Cats: In cage, breeding slowly.
1 kitten.
3 Boars: Main engine. 2 Speed.
3 rock mechanisms
4 logs of wood
1 Giant eagle(semi-tame)

Henchmen:
Crippled Henchdwarf: Austri
Health: Is missing their right leg and right arm.

The leg is replaced with wood.
Abilities: Is a novice woodcrafter
Is an adequate thrower
Is an adequate mechanic
is a proficient siege operator
Insane Dwarf: Ponydwarf
Health: Fine
Insane Dwarf: Iamhuman
Health: Fine

Standing orders: Dig through the dumps for things to use for free items (after race)
throw useless items at the racers(during race)

Spoiler: Tiruin (click to show/hide)

Name: Ardul Irith
Health: Perfectly fine.
Abilities: -
Vehicle Name: Alcyone Wing
Dwarfbucks: 200☼
Parts:
Stone Chassis
Three Giant Eagles: 2 Speed. One has a broken wing, another has several bones broken.
Iron Wheels

Henchmen & Orders
Bardum Thain ; Male [Crippled Henchdwarf]
Status: Has some scarring on body and arms.

Left leg broken.
Abilities:
Is an adequate leather worker
Is a proficient fighter
Is an adequate doctor
Is a novice Furnace operator

Standing Orders (Descending order of priority):
Post-Race:
> Douse any fires//Inspect status for damage
> Begin repairs of the Vehicle, if any is needed.
> Scavenge//Work for Dwarfbucks.
> Train Ability.
In-Race:
> Follow any commands by the Vehicle Overseer
> Begin repairs of the Vehicle, if any is needed.

Spoiler: antlion12 (click to show/hide)

Name:Urist Orrlith
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:none
Vehicle Name:The Sock
Dwarfbucks: 300☼
Parts:
Stone chassis
4 cats: 1 speed, Completely exhausted.
20 kittens
Stone wheels

Henchmen:2 standard henchdwarves
both healthy
no abilities
(When one gets an ability i will give that one a name)

Standing orders:
Out of race
Look for random junk
Work for money
Repair if needed

in race
throw random junk at the racer in front of me
Throw kittens at the racer in front of me when they are born

Spoiler: HmH (click to show/hide)

Name: Bomrek Manpower
Health: Healthy
Abilities: -
Vehicle Name: Ballsy Ride
Dwarfbucks: 0 ☼

Parts:
Wood Chassis
Iron Wheels
6 Cats: 2 speed. 1 heavily injured.
16 kittens.
Giant Slingshot: Mounted on vehicle. Upgraded with roller.
     4 small rocks: No damage bonus
1 log
Terrible Lasso: -2 to use. Could THEORETICALLY grab onto things
Copper Ball Trap: Auto attacks boarders and other assailants. Covered in cat blood.
Henchmen:
Normal Henchdwarf Etur, 250 ☼
Health: Fine
Abilities: None

Standing orders:
Pre-Race:
Search for spare logs, mechanisms and ropes.

On Road:
Keep loading newborn kittens into the Slingshot and shooting them at the target Bomrek specifies.
Start powering the Ball Trap when boarded by hostiles.

Spoiler: Caerwyn (click to show/hide)

Name: Grimjaw Beardbear
Health: Perfectly fine.
Abilities: Chosen of Armok.
Vehicle Name: Roaring Boozebear.
Dwarfbucks: 500☼
Parts:
Wooden Chassis. Stained with a bit of cat blood.
Steel Wheels
3 Boars: 2 speed. Bruised all over. Distracted by elk. One is missing an eye, and has a broken leg. The bone is

set with a +stone splint+. Ate biscuits recently.
3 Biscuits
3 pieces of stone
Length of rope

Henchmen: Standard Henchdwarf,
Health: Can still walk, Urist.
Abilities:
Crippled Henchdwarf
Health: Missing an ear. Left leg chewed a bit. Left arm missing.

Right leg has lost sensory.
Abilities:
Is a proficient Siege operator
Is an adequate Animal caretaker
Is a proficient Mechanic
Is a novice Dodger
Standing orders: (In order of priority for each.)
Cripple:
Look for random junk
Work for money
Standard:
Repair the cart after race
Inspect for any sabotages
Work for money

Spoiler: wolfchild (click to show/hide)

Name: Dr Aurist
Health: Perectly Fine
Abilities:
Vehicle Name: Insanity Included
Dwarfbucks: 0

Parts: Enclosed and Fortified Stone Chassis
- Screw Pump
- Giant slingshot
    4 small rocks.
- Stone Wheels

Henchmen:

Augustus (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

Cleopatra (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

William (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

Stalin (Insane Dwarf)
Health: Perfectly fine
Abilities:

Standing Orders:
Out of Race:
Scrounge for free stuff/ Make money as people laugh at you

In Race:
Follow orders --> Repel Boarders --> Repairs --> Pump

Spoiler: Persons Notes (click to show/hide)

Well, that took awhile. Also, wolfchild, where is your quote from. I can't seem to find the source, and it's been bugging me for a few months. Anyway, boars kinda failed this turn, other than caerwyns of course. Also, antlion, you might wanna do something about your cats. two 8 rolls in a row for breeding, while unlikely, is a bit bad for them. And yes, wolfchilds strategy is a bit boring, but it works eh? Might wanna layer up for next race buddy, you'll need it if everyone else is thinking the way I would if I were a player. Also, sabotage apparently has never been done before in the history of dwarven races evidently. Perhaps someone would like to be a pioneer? By the way, from now on, courses will probably be a bit longer. The next one in particular should be fairly interesting.

[Caerwyn]

THE CHOSEN OF ARMOK! BWAHAHAHA! NO GREATER GLORY COULD A MERE DWARF HAVE EVER HOPED TO ACHIEVE! INITIATE AGGRESSIVE DRIVING! SHOW THEM THE TRUE POWER OF "BLOOD BULLS", THE VERY PETS OF ARMOK, GOD OF BLOOD. And, if it's possible, conduct poetic revenge against Wolfchild - AW, WHO AM I KIDDING? BLIMEY BASTARD PASSED US ALL. IF WE REACH HIM...OH, IF WE REACH HIM, SMASH INTO HIS CART WITH THE FURIOUS RAGE OF A DWARF WHO'S PET KITTEN'S CORPSE JUST GOT EATEN BY AN ELF!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Whether this fails spectacularly or somehow succeeds, it'll be a pretty good show!