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Our uniform shall be blood (red)

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Danger room training shall be forbidden.

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Total Members Voted: 0

Voting closed: April 02, 2013, 10:22:42 am

[notquitethere]

And we have 16 forgotten beasts and a number of flaming undead living la vida loca in the caverns.

We should put all of our fortress efforts into arming, armouring and training a single dwarf to fight off every single one of these beasts.

[notquitethere]

Alternatively, we could unleash the denizens of the deeper deep to cleanse the lower caverns of forgotten beasts.

I've yet to find a problem that an even worse problem couldn't fix.

[Triaxx2]

Indeed, we need our own Dermonster.

[Wastedlabor]

Soon, Moltenchannels' nobles seemed to be creeped by Udib's activity into doing some of their job. Urist the Grey started to dispatch the long queue of human diplomats waiting to meet, and CogDiss (reluctantly) went back to manage the job orders.



After some inspection, Udib's cultists found an ancient staircase going all the way from the surface to the corner where Zolak the fire beast and the zombies were fighting. It was currently blocked only by a few trees under the surface, and guarded by a child's ghost.



"Zolak may get in the way of our work down in the caverns", complained Udib, "not to speak of all the noise. Let's build an enclosure on the surface, in case it ever decides to come up, and open the way to the staircase. And get that ghost out of there, we already have enough desecration going on here."



Limul Gearedcontrols and Cerol Seedpaint the Royal Partydwarf got secret moods. Some animals were sacrificed to Armok in the hopes that he would not take away another two dwarves. The animals were really getting out of control, as the dwarves had to push through the alpacasplosion to cross the depot area, and anyone idle spent their time bringing animals back to their pens.

The construction of the tiny Armok temple advanced, and Mortalholy the 765000 dwarfbucks adamantine chain was put in the temple's well.



Then, another human caravan arrived:

"Merchants, pah! Oh, let them in, who cares. Someone go and operate the levers", said Udib.

The cultists looked at each other.

"Does anyone of you know how to open the gates? Well then, figure it out!"

Eventually the right sequence of levers was pulled and the merchants rode into the depot.

Meanwhile, Limul finished a red tourmaline ring: Spikeproblems the Autonomy of Freezing.

The cultists coaxed everybody to walk away from the mass manufacture of blocks and devote themselves to other, more meaningful tasks. Some heavy gold wheelbarrows and tattered clothes were sold to the human traders, and the construction of a few lighter wooden wheelbarrows was ordered.

Autumn arrived with terribly bad news. The vengeful guard had chained Lucky back, and he was left unattended until he died of thirst. Certainly the relationship between the cult and the law wasn't going the right way.

Eventually the aboveground prison room should be dismantled, as there's already dungeons with water pits underground, and they just need some food stored in the cells.



The temple's water reservoir started to be filled, with only a minor trader-flushing incident. The path to the mistery lake was dug up, although the overworked mechanics were too busy to install some spiky defenses, and the beasts Tise and Spos arrived to the fortress.

And then, before the work outdoors could be finished, a new vile force of darkness arrived...

[Urist McKiwi]

...do you mean arrived "to" or arrived "in"?

because "In" would be very bad news.


Still. At least you've got some towers and stuff to fight the siege with.

[Wastedlabor]

A bit of both, actually.

Fortunately, Udib had ordered to let the animals to roam outside the pens until they had the time to enclose them properly, and the ones that were wandering outside the fort bought some time. As a happy coincidence, all dwarves happened to be indoors. Pulling the bridge levers took too long, though, and a squad of trolls made it into the eastern yard.

The Giant Bushmaster nursing some eggs at the entrance valiantly held them, but there weren't enough soldiers ready to rush to its help. They had to wait and watch it get cornered by three enemies.

Outside the fort, one of the many human diplomats got murdered by the goblins. Another one decided to hang around the front line, where the militia was assembling to fight the trolls.



"Why do we have to stand these humans snooping around when we are about to fight, and possibly face death or some variety of mangling and dismembering", complained Urist McKiwi IV.

King CaptainArchmage III, a recruit under McKiwi's command, was still adjusting his armor.

"Now that you say that, what's up with all these diplomats? Shouldn't they be gone already? Mayor!"

"I think they may be spies", whispered Urist the Grey I, expertly priming his crossbow.

"I'll get the mayor...", started CaptainArchmage, but Urist McKiwi boldly crossed the sword on his path.

"There's no time for that. The trolls are rampaging the fort and the bridge just closed. Let's go!"

The dwarves rushed out, Tun the impetuous recruit running ahead and promptly earning a broken shoulder as a result. The king got a few hacks in, but Urist the Grey's bolts, and Likot Heavensboots the Late Rot, the Royal Swordsmaster, did most of the dirty work. At the opposite side of the fort, the goblins failed to overwhelm the trap defenses and decided to retreat.

The dwarves celebrated the quick victory, but the happiest one was probably Cerol the Royal Partydwarf, who ran to grab some bones from a murdered goat for his masterwork artifact.

Finally, the surface opening to the caverns was dug up, and the enclosure was sealed before anything could escape. The fire beast seemed to be too busy to care, though.

And so, winter arrived, with a promise of war...

[Wastedlabor]

BTW, any lurkers want to get dorfed?

[Urist McKiwi]

HAH! I knew that giant bushmaster was an excellent purchase. Did it kill any of them, or just weaken them?

...too bad we couldn't save it though. Guess we'll just need to buy some more from the elves. There's a tigerman pastured at the West Gate near the trap corridor that you can also bring in as a reinforcement if you need it.

[Wastedlabor]

It knocked down one of the trolls and made a few bruises, but the mean trolls grabbed him by the tail. 

[Wastedlabor]

The last (I hope) two human diplomats in the fortress had noticed their presence had risen suspicions in the fortress. Seeing the fate of the diplomat that attempted to flee, and before they any formal accusation was raised against them, they decided to escalate things.

"We felt it's time to actually sign a treaty with you dwarves, so our fellow citizens know that human presence is welcome here. Our civilizations would be willing to forgive you for this... activity that you are embarked into, if we were allowed to keep a number of inspectors around, and set some... boundaries."

"What kind of nonsense is that? It has yet to be heard of dwarves following orders from humans", replied the mayor.

Udib was listening nearby,

"They probably have never heard of Ardentdikes. And why is that? The same reason I think they were nowhere to be seen when we fought McDuck's dragon. I'd trust a goblin more than them."

"These words may not be well received on our land. This is a fair warning."

"And this is a fair warning from us", replied the young king, stepping forward, "whoever forgets who's the king of our land will be received with a rain of molten rock!"

The human diplomats sighed and looked at each other.

"So be it. Shall you excuse us, we'll depart now to deliver these unfortunate news to our leaders."

"You have been here already too long!", yelled the king.

The fortress resumed their work after the diplomats were finally gone.

To add to the list of curses afflicting the fortress, a couple of the pets that had been let to roam around fell stiff dead after suffocating for no clear reason. No dwarf gave it much thought, though.

Down in the depths, the construction of a spike corridor ordered by Udib continued. Most dwarves didn't quite understand why would they build it there of all places.



The poor recruit that broke his shoulder against the trolls had been left at the bridge, dying of thirst and hunger due to being too much of a pansy to just walk back into the fortress. Since Cutey the nurse was busy doing whatever Cutey did, the dwarves just moved some drink and food near him.

After what felt as an eternity, Cerol the Royal Partydwarf finished his elaborate artifact: Notchedruins the Rasp of Compassion, a goat leather thong. No doubt Cerol would feature it himself on the next party...

New Year passed by practically unnoticed. A new hospital was dug up to replace the two provisional ones, which lacked access to water -- and plumbing some in there was a certain nightmare. Udib spent a couple months inside the temple, making sure it was comfortable, and some guardian pets were added nearby.

The fire beast hadn't moved, so just to piss it off, a plan to pour some water on it was drafted. Meanwhile, Operation "Starve the Stray Alpacas" was a great success, a giant titmouse decided to visit the caverns, a clay mine was dug up, and the magma crabs were spotted sniping the dingoes with molten rock; fortunately the forest didn't catch fire this time.





On the 15th of Felsite, a new siege arrived...

[Urist McKiwi]

So you're going to spike-trap the FB's? Nice. Will that involve exploiting the pathfinding with pressure-plates and bridges, or just spamming spikes and hoping they all die quickly?


And you spelled "Unfortunately" wrong. Forest fires are literally our best defensive weapon.

[Wastedlabor]

I'm not gonna open the circus --year would end too soon, and I would leave a mess to the next overseer. Just leaving things there.

The dwarves are already having some beast fun on late summer anyway.

[notquitethere]

Glad to see our forgotten beast collection is growing. The reason they call them that here is because there's so many of them it's easy to forget any given one of them.

Also, the Hall of Legends vote is still up for Molten Channels.

[Wastedlabor]

This time everybody was a bit quicker rushing in for the siege. The mayor CaptainArchmage III himself pulled the bridge lever, and the west glass gate was immediately locked down. The goblin squads decided to just set camp around the fort. After exchanging insults and expletives through the first days, soon the only noise heard was the magma crabs sputtering blobs of magma. They even killed an unfortunate dingo that peeked into the volcano.



The crossbow squad was sent to the rather chaotic and unfortified walls to pelt the goblins with bolts. The Cultists ran out too, to get some practice, though in the end only CogDiss and Udib himself turned up -- the latter absolutely convinced he was carrying already a crossbow, even though he only had a dagger. I guess that's what you get when you send a bookworm to war...

Summer arrived and, eventually, enough goblins were shot down, tricked into traps, or forced to dodge into the magma moat.



Tobul Gladestockades the Pure Spurn, the Royal Axe Lord, was taken by a fey mood and ran to a leatherworks workshop. He didn't seem to know well what he wanted, and mass butchering had to be ordered.

"Hopefully that idiot won't go mad", complained Urist the Grey, "he's one of the few decent soldiers we have!"

The new hospital was functional enough to replace the old ones, although the water for the well hadn't been poured in yet. Some of the glass furniture was taking too long and regular pieces were used instead.

Operation "Douse the beast" got greenlighted, while mechanics finally finished linking the year 1 flood bridges on the side of the volcano to their original lever row, for whatever is worth.

Unfortunately (here's that word again!), the water sent down to flush the beast and the burning zombies just flowed down a slope, leaving the beast dry. Water may still reach them, eventually, but it'll take several rain seasons.



"We can be glad our greatest worry is having some trouble to give a beast a bath", said Cutey, enjoying both her new room and the lack of hospital work. "We haven't had to get close to any of them, and certainly we don't want more wounded dwarves."

It wasn't long after that, though, when a long animal shriek was heard down one of the ancient, unused staircases. Everybody stopped on their tracks and listened.

Then, a roaring sound, and a thick, roasted-Sow smelling cloud of smoke blasted through the fortress.





"Zolak?", muttered the king.

"Zolak is still fighting the zombies", replied Urist the Grey.

"Do we have any other fire beasts down there?"

"We have everything down there..."

It was not clear how the not-Zolak beast had got in. Under the stairs, there was a diagonal crack it could have snuck through:



And this misterious bridge that may or may not be open, and may or may not have been opened during some lever shenanigans:



"This happened before", gloomily said Udib. "McDuck has sent again a fire beast to free him... we must be close to the seal that keeps him trapped in hell!"

[Triaxx2]

Quickly! Release the water beast! What do you mean we don't have a water beast?!