Turn Forty TwoMagical Typhoon Wind Blast!
"There may be an ovinomancer nearby - they are dangerous folk…"Sighing at the thought of once again coming face to face with a deadly ovinomancer – the curious scar on his right buttock would always remind him of their inscrutable threat and terrible teeth – Tackov readies himself mentally for another blast of violent wind.
"Best be on your guard!"He feels the rumbling power of wind gather deep within him.
Chop off limbs of Skeletal Knight with Sword of Severing.
Bukkar is quite aggrieved!
Gedsdammit I was gunna DO SOME STUFF WITH THAT PORTAL!He doesn’t realise that all he had to avoid doing was short-circuiting the portal with his considerable vomit!
Now the only thing he could do with the portal is clean it!
Or rub himself up against it suggestively!
Instead, he transforms his rage, as he has done many a time before, into something positive. Into a force for good. A force for change!
…With the laziest, awfullest, most pacific sword swing he can possibly manage without just dropping the sword on the floor, Bukkar slices off the Skeletal Knight’s right arm!
Action: Kick the Human Wizard Skeleton 3 in the bonecrotch, so he doesn't use that cheap summoning move!
…Lady Foxglove, meanwhile, sidles over to Human Wizard Skeleton 3, hitherto preoccupied by his failed attempt to grab Whiz’s chest hair and leprify it off thereby exposing the naked-chested mage to the full force of his skeletal fury, and whispers gently in his ear.
”I say,” she says,
”It would be terribly kind of you to show me exactly how one summons those rather charming skeletal knights, you know? Terribly kind.””Happy to oblige, ma’am,” rasps the bony-throated conjurer,
…light-heartedly punching Lady Foxglove in the face a little before obliging happily.
A second skeletal warrior rises out of the darkness!
”I say,” goshes Lady Foxglove,
”That was awfully impressive! Bravo. I say. Erm.”…The second skeletal warrior immediately joins his wizardly master in stroking Lady F gently on the cheek!
She hides her discomfort.
Use my scroll of Beginner's Fireball at the Sheep!
With a mummified sabre toothed sheep attacking the mangled leg of his close friend and colleague Tackov Cedtry, Whiz takes stock of his options briefly, before coming to rest on the most obvious option.
Fire.
Great big writhing balls of fire.
…Great big writhing balls of fire all over Bukkar’s arms.
Great big writhing balls of fire all over Whiz’s exposed chest hair.
Great big writhing balls of fire all over Tackov’s face.
Even great big writhing balls of fire all over Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III’s extremely attractive guts!
Now, all of Gervedder’s comrades will be able to help him try to set the sheep on fire!
And there was much rejoicing.
Fire Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Heavy Arm Fire!Fire Acquired: Whiz:
Severe Chest Hair Fire!Fire Acquired: Tackov Cedtry:
Severe Face Fire!Fire Acquired: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III:
Heavy Gut Fire!Vomit area attack on the burning foursome.
Seeing his foe, Whiz the Mighty Wizard, display his fearsome and esoteric powers and channel them towards improving the on-fireness of his companions, Albert the Troglodyte Zombie takes immediate and strongly prejudiced action. Or clear and present action. Strongly president’s action!
He vomits!
He vomits in the eye of each and every burning adventurer, bar Gervedder, who is standing slightly to the side.
…He vomits so hard, in fact, that Lady Foxglove is drenched! Her burning gut is extinguished! Tackov’s face is drenched! His burning face area is extinguished!
Alas.
Bukkar and Whiz are not drenched – except in the eye!
They are both suddenly and foully afflicted with the Vomiting!
Bukkar is already quite afflicted though and, distraught at not being able to become doubly afflicted, he retches heartily at Whiz.
Whiz, naturally, attempts to return the favour, and retches so hard he slips over on the slippery floor and falls flat on his back.
Run at mummified saber-toothed sheep and try to set it on fire with my own body in passing.
"Oh my. That certainly is a most unfortunate happenstance. A mummified saber-toothed sheep surrounded by a quartet oh wait a pair of burning adventurers! I must join them post haste!"Just as Gervedder turns to rush towards the sheep and his burning comrades, the sabre toothed sheep turns towards Gervedder!
Dammit… we must have rolled the same… damn… initiative score…As Gervedder runs past the sheep with his burning chest hair exposed, time slows down and the fanned flames flicker and…
…fail to leap onto the paper dry woolly monstrosity!
As the sheep runs past Gervedder, who’s burning chest hair is exposed, time slows down and
…a chunk of the Messenger’s thigh flies off!
His leg seems to be heavily bleeding!
Sweet!
Wound Acquired: Gervedder Vietzo:
Heavily Bleeding Thigh!Melee at… dice roll… Gervedder!
Last turn’s Skeletal Knight charges clangingly into the attack, directing itself with cold fury at Gervedder, the clearly bravest and mightiest of the skeleton’s possible foes, whereupon
…his great rusty sword bounces harmlessly of the Messenger’s armoured and rippling stomach.
Fireball!
And finally, since it doesn’t look like Medha’s getting a go this turn, Human Wizard Skeleton 2 advances into the fight! Having summoned a useless Skeletal Knight (1) last turn, this turn he opts to summon equally useless fire!
Seeing a great ball of fire fly, again, towards them, both Gervedder and Tackov hurl themselves out of the way,
…reaching complete safety but accidentally knocking their friends and colleagues into the flames!
Suddenly Whiz and Medha both seem to be suffering from extreme cases of severe fire on the head and arms!
Ouch!
Fire Acquired: Whiz:
Severe Head Fire!Fire Acquired: Medha Correo:
Severe Arm Fire! She should cradle her skull in her arms and lick its smooth, domed cranial surface in a suggestive way.
…Whilst battle rages all about her, Medha decides to retreat. She sits cross-legged in the corner of the room, cradling her pet skull in her flaming arms, and starts licking its smooth, domed cranial surface in what she thinks might well be a suggestive way.
It’s quite dry though, and after only a few seconds her tongue feels uncomfortably sandy and, indeed, unpleasantly rough.
Her facial expressions accurately reflect this.
((Loving the story so far btw 
))
Rather perceptive of you to even find the story amongst all this nonsense, but thank you
Name: Mummified sabre toothed sheep
Status: MummifiedHealth: [HP: 100/100]Abilities: Sabre toothedName: Troglodyte Zombie
Status:Health: [HP: 100/100]Abilities: Rock Throw |
The Vomiting Name: Human Wizard Skeleton 2
Class: Wizard Skeleton
Status: SkeletalHealth: [HP: 40/50]Abilities: Summon Skeletal Knight,
Beginner’s FireballName: Human Wizard Skeleton 3
Class: Wizard Skeleton
Status: SkeletalHealth: [HP: 40/50]Abilities: Summon Skeletal Knight,
Hand of LeprosyName: Knight Skeleton 1
Class: Knight Skeleton
Status: Armoured, -1 to combat (1 arm)
Health: [HP: 65/75]Name: Knight Skeleton 2
Class: Knight Skeleton
Status: Armoured, -1 to combat (1 arm)
Health: [HP: 65/75]Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: -2 to movement! -1 to dodging! -1 to combat! +1 to head defence.
Health: [HP: 35/55] |
The Vomiting! |
Broken Legs!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Masterwork Helm!, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 40/80] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! |
Severe Chest Hair Fire! | |
The Vomiting! |
Severe Head Fire!Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x4, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x5, +1 Bolt of Burning x5, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1 x1.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage.
Health: [HP: 60/80] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib! |
Severe Arm Fire!Pet Skull Health: [HP: 10/10]Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,
Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 77 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 96 Yuros (real gold), Bones, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good! Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 60/80] |
Burning Chest Hair! |
Heavily Bleeding Thigh!Abilities: Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 9 bandages, 7 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow,
Bandage of Healing! Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable!
Health: [HP: 70/80]Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Necklace of Permanent Death! Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status: -1 to social interaction. -1 Pain penalty.
Health: [HP: 50/80] |
The Vomiting! |
Fractured Groin! |
Heavy Arm Fire!Abilities: Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 1
Stinking Eejit cheese, 2 Yuros, 400 Green Farthings.
edit: spare spoiler tag.
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Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 193807 times)