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Misty Kolnazom, the Greatest Cheesemaker Ever!

Reg Pashmad the Recruit

Gruzzlus Holt the Captain

Plumpy the Plump Helmet Man

Kulet Lokunnomel the Nun

Enir Twigappears the Overseer

Darkerdaffodil the Elf

Maynard the Mule

Other

Iron Owl the Iron Knight

[Quarque]

Whelp, poor Misty.

Here is hoping that a "cheese" made out of a whole pot of Rennet (pesticide?), mystery vial juice and divine milk is a poison, both irresistable and lethal for the queen.

[Dunamisdeos]

Whelp, poor Misty.

Here is hoping that a "cheese" made out of a whole pot of Rennet (pesticide?), mystery vial juice and divine milk is a poison, both irresistable and lethal for the queen.

Oh! It IS holy, isn't it?

Maybe it's not a bad vampire. Maybe we should like, not kill her immediately.

[evictedSaint]

I thought about it a bit and maybe being adversarial isn't the best idea. What ever creature she is, she's a queen so there must be diplomatic options available to us. Greet your queen politely and present your cheese like you came here for.

It's best to be polite.  She's the Queen, after all.  You'll just greet her, present your cheese, and the rest will follow naturally...right?

"H-Hello! I...um.  Hello, my Q-Queen! I'm here...I'm here to give...um.  I have...my cheese.  Hello.  I'd like to...um...I..."

To be fair, the only other noble you've ever really met was your Dad.  He could be scary sometimes, but never...never like this.





The Queen tilts her head for a moment.

"I beg your pardon?  Oh, right.  One moment, please - "





"There we go! Sorry, I forget sometimes others need light.  Now, hello there, little girl.  What's your name?"

"M...Misty, my Queen."

"Misty! What a pretty name!  It's a bit like my name, isn't it?  And please, call me 'Momuz'. 'Queen' is so stuffy, isn't it?"

"I...I guess so."

"Now, Misty, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

And I, too, propose that whatever you do, keep the cheese in front of you.  Either a defense as recently stated or a proper offering or whatever.  The cheese is the key.  THE CHEESE IS THE KEY.

"Well, I made some...cheese.  My first ever cheese! And I made it with Cowsea's Holy Cow Milk.  So...it's probably really good.  And I thought you might like to try some?"

"Oh my! That's so very special, Misty! I'd love to have some.  This is your very first cheese? So that makes you a novice cheesemaker, then?  I'm impressed!"

"Thank you, Quee...Momuz.  I worked reallyreallyreally hard on it, and it took a reallyreallyreally long time..."

"Oh, I'm sure you did! It's not easy making cheese."

"I know!  It's really tough!"

"That's right, and you did a very good job, Misty."




"Let me go light some more candles and fetch another chair, then we can sit down and try some of your special cheese.  You said you made it with Cowsea's milk?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Then I'm sure it's a Masterpiece!"


You...aren't sure what you were afraid of.  The Queen - Momuz - is really, really nice! She's kind of like...a sweet grandmother. 

You feel a little silly for being so nervous.  This is going to turn out great.

next

Thanks to the herculean efforts of MadMonkey, The Littlest Cheesemaker now has an external mirror!  The site makes it much easier to read the story without combing through the forum thread, and I'm quite pleased with how it looks.  If you want to re-read the story (or just see what the fuss is about!) you can visit the site here at http://thelittlestcheesemaker.com/!

[Egan_BW]

Guess we're just primed to find royalty terrifying in illustrated adventures.

[Superdorf]

Nope, I don't buy it. This Momuz lady forgets light is a thing? Very dwarfy and all, but y'all saw those fangs...

Be friendly. Be respectful. Be wary.
Also, ask queen Momuz about her crown. It's got a most interesting shape.

(also, update! happy!)

[Egan_BW]

Well, in our current version DF light sources don't exist and aren't needed. That apparently isn't the world that Misty lives in, because she couldn't see.
Also the queen said "I forget sometimes that others need light", which is a statement that she doesn't. I think if we ask about it, she'll just tell us.

And it will be because she's a vampire. She's a vampire.
Still, a friendly one. Vamps are people too, just people who enjoy drinking others' blood.

[Dunamisdeos]

THE LITTLEST CHEESEMAKER UPDATED!!!!



Anyway though, vampires in DF are not inherently evil. Some of them rule pleasantly for centuries.

Let's trust, but verify.

"Then I'm sure it's a Masterpiece!"

Did... we create an artifact cheese? Is this how that works? Make sure we keep the cheese with us, regardless. Slice off some cheese, eat some cheese with Queen, and tell her all about how we came here to raise cheesemaking to his finest heights!

Keep the remaining cheese between us and Queen Chompers at all times, though.

[mightymushroom]

Also, ask queen Momuz about her crown. It's got a most interesting shape.

+1 Very much so, it's probably the most interesting thing about her, other than that odd grin she has when the lights aren't on.

Gotta say, when I saw "Updated 2/05" it was one of the happiest moments of my day.

[Sir Knight]

[Yaaaaay sound effects]!

(Those are the sounds of many "yay"s.  I seem to recall a sound file like that on mid-classic Mac computers.)

Too tired to say much more right now, but I'm delighted to see an update.  Also, yeah, cheese.  And vampires.  And plot.

[Ultimuh]

Guess we're just primed to find royalty terrifying in illustrated adventures.

And very susceptible to alcoholic beverages.

[Superdorf]

Guess we're just primed to find royalty terrifying in illustrated adventures.

And very susceptible to alcoholic beverages.

...Only now do I understand what you people are referencing.

[Haspen]

Be friendly. Be respectful. Be wary.
Also, ask queen Momuz about her crown. It's got a most interesting shape.

"It is a crown. It is made of gold. On it there's image of three circles made of gold."

[evictedSaint]

Guess we're just primed to find royalty terrifying in illustrated adventures.

And very susceptible to alcoholic beverages.

...Only now do I understand what you people are referencing.

Name one - ONE - similar MSPA-inspired webcomic which features terrifying royalty.  TLCM is a totally unique webcomic that bears no similarities to any other.

[Dermonster]

Guess we're just primed to find royalty terrifying in illustrated adventures.

And very susceptible to alcoholic beverages.

...Only now do I understand what you people are referencing.

Name one - ONE - similar MSPA-inspired webcomic which features terrifying royalty.  TLCM is a totally unique webcomic that bears no similarities to any other.

MSPA, as a sort of inspirational ouroboros, has at least four cases of terrifying royalty itself.

[Silverybearded]

Her name literally translates as "crypt".
Might as well be wearing a "I'm a vampire" sign.