The 3 January 890 was a great day in administrative history. On that day, Basileus Sheb got appointed as his own regent thanks to a fellow incapable and imperial clerk. Thankfully, his Mystikos, the eunuch Anastasios, using advanced psychological techniques known as "tell the retard what to do" took effective control of the Empire.
His first act was to break the recently signed truce with Tuscany to install a pretender on the Tuscan throne and continue the integration of Italy within the Empire.
All the glory to Anastasios, all the blame for the cripple.His job annexing the various vassals of the Kingdom of Italy done, the title was handed back to Lothaire Karling.
He actually likes us now!At this time, it was realized that Lothaire's heir was the King of Lotharingia and Burgundy, and the inheritance was threatening the Byzantine hold on Italy. Thanks to Anastasios' superior intrigue skill, everything was quickly arranged.
Man he's good at this.To raise the funds, Anastasios devised a clever scheme. While arresting the Basileus' direct vassals always carry a risk of revolutions, the vassals' vassals will only flee to your vassals' court, where you can try to arrest them again, and then ransomed. Sure, they'll hate you, but they're not your vassals, so who cares?
They say your name's Gotefredo, but I'll call you 70 golds.Soon, the province of Italia was Roman once more!
Sheb doesn't cry for a mere banner. But now he's crying because a dog was killed in the siege.Keeping with the traditions of inconvenient people to just choke on random knives, the King of Bulgaria suddenly died, leaving his 5-years old kid on the throne. That happy coincidence let Anastasios sit a claimant on the Bulgarian throne. Another nice trick Anastasios invented was granting the county of Constantinople to the claimant to make him a vassal*. Once the war over, you can just pretend it was an administrative mistake and take it back.
"Of course you didn't really believe we were granting you the capital."That war brought the Empire to heights unreached since the fall of Rome, over twice the size of the second-biggest Empire!
Ave Caesar!This wasn't to last though. Lothaire of Half Europe soon died, sending the Kingdoms of Lotharingia and Burgundy out of the Empire, as well as a small Duchy within Italy***.
Did you know Gavelking was the greek for "fuck you"?And in accordance to the edict of Patriarch Euchrejack, the Kingdom of Wallachia granted to the Count of Severin and made independent. It then promptly exploded in civil war, but hey, what did you expect, seating an unexperienced, 1 province count over kingdom peopled by foreigners?
And I have to keep THAT guy secure?At this point, it was decided to try to rehabilitate Sheb, so he would be able to accomplish some basic tasks like shopping for groceries. He quickly came back with a still bloody human finger that he claimed was a relic from John the Baptist. No one dare to spoil his fun.
The worse part is that he's convince John the Baptist was an Octopus.Having accomplished two Patriarchal decrees, Anastasios tried to accomplish a third by getting a trade company established in Gotland. Sadly, this would end in failure with 5000 cataphracts dead on the shores of Gotland. Since all the painters died with the army, we do not have illustration of that fiasco.
Oh, and that claim was lost when Drooly died.And to compound the problem, Sheb finally managed to speak coherently again... to announce he converted to Monophelite. Apparently John's finger told him that red looked better or something.**
On the right-hand side, you can see the whole Imperial Retinue.Not only did it piss off the vassals, it also convinced the Catholics that Rome had to be invaded at all costs.
On the bright side, they haven't attacked yet.To prevent the Empire from imploding under the weigh of religious strife, the crown authority was lowered. With the lower crown authority, many gifts and a serious conversion effort, the Empire's religion was slowly turning around. Around 3 quarters of the Vassals were converted, including the King of Italy.
Hardly ideal, but we did avoid any revolt.Soon however, explosions started rocking the capital. Orthodox terrorists were suspected...
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Topic: Paradox Games (CKII, EUIV etc.) Megacampaign Succession Game (Read 18111 times)