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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1018368 times)

Wolfhunter107

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6315 on: July 13, 2017, 01:01:25 pm »

France and Germany have agreed that they are going to develop a new, European fighter jet. Any EU country is welcome to join in the effort.
With this they like to show determination in revitalizing EU unification and cooperation.

I guess the JSF just doesn't deliver as promised. Lessons learned there, US aerospace indstry is unreliable, at best. Can't stick to a timeline, can't stick to a budget.

Given that neither France or Germany were ever part of the JSF program to begin with, I'm not sure this means quite as much as you think it does. Far more likely that this was done in the interests of military integration, given that both countries have been pushing for it for a while now.
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Just ask yourself: What would a mobster do?
So we butcher them and build a 4chan tallow soap tower as a monument to our greatness?

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6316 on: July 13, 2017, 01:09:52 pm »

Nah, but their open invite to any other EU country to join in on the project does play into the general discontent about the JSF project. Not that the JSF is going to be cancelled. I just wouldn't expect any additional orders for it.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6317 on: July 15, 2017, 04:20:59 pm »

In this mini article (axios does that) on the Catalan independence referendum, it says that international law would have to be rewritten in order for a Catalan seccession to happen easily. However, while I get the constitution and national laws part, I'm not aware of any international laws that would prevent Catalonia from successfully secceeding from Spain. So, anybody know what the author is talking about? Maybe they meant the EU, but while there would definetly be legal issues that would need to be worked out in the case of it happening, I'm not aware of anything in the EU charter (not that I've read it) that would stop that from happening.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2017, 04:33:01 pm by smjjames »
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6318 on: July 15, 2017, 05:32:02 pm »

*shrug* I know that there are concerns as to how legitimate the result of such a referendum would be (one way or the other), given that both the central goverment and the Govern are engaged into political potshots and veiled threats against each other, and threatening  lower rank civil servants with diktats.

TBH given how heated and polarized the atmosphere is (and how even the population is split), I think that concerns about the guarantees in this process are very much legitimate. Indeed, there are voices in one of the pro-referendum parties expressing concerns about this. Of course, the way to fix this would be for the central goverment to actually make sure the referendum DID happen, with whichever guarantees. But of course we´re not going to get that, because if the party in power was of the sort that took such reasonable steps there wouldn´t be such polarization in the first place.
 
« Last Edit: July 15, 2017, 05:34:18 pm by ChairmanPoo »
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6319 on: July 16, 2017, 01:33:09 pm »

In this mini article (axios does that) on the Catalan independence referendum, it says that international law would have to be rewritten in order for a Catalan seccession to happen easily. However, while I get the constitution and national laws part, I'm not aware of any international laws that would prevent Catalonia from successfully secceeding from Spain. So, anybody know what the author is talking about? Maybe they meant the EU, but while there would definetly be legal issues that would need to be worked out in the case of it happening, I'm not aware of anything in the EU charter (not that I've read it) that would stop that from happening.

Well, some international treaties on self-determination present cases where people have a right to self-determination, and Catalonia doesn't really fullfill any of these. But AFAIK that just mean they don't have a right to self-determiantion, not that it's forbidden.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6320 on: July 20, 2017, 01:49:58 pm »

Dutch police and justice department managed to strike the darkweb hard. It's no longer a 'safe' place for criminals from now on.

Using the chaos that hit the Darkweb when police shut down AlphaBay earlier, and after the arrest by German police of two hosts for the darkweb site 'Hansa Market', Dutch police managed to locate the servers in Latvia, and in cooperation with Latvian police, the servers were confiscated and sent to the Netherlands, and the two German hosts were kept in police custody, only being allowed contact with their lawyer.

In the Netherlands, a special, new Darkweb team managed to clone the website, and keep it up and running for weeks, without the users having a clue that it was being run by the Dutch police and Justice Department. With the data gathered during this undercover operation, many drugsdealers were identified, while thinking they were safe with their bitcoins and their tor-browser.

With enough evidence gathered, the Hansa Market has now been shut down and dismantled. A major dealer was arrested in the Netherlands, and accounts for a total of more than 1000 bitcoins (about 2 million euros) have been confiscated.

From the end of june until the end of the operation yesterday, the Dutch Team Hightech Crime has targeted buyers and sellers on the site, of whom the vast mojority turned out to be dealing drugs. Their usernames and passwords have been intercepted. Daily, there were about 1000 deals done, in reaction to about 40000 daily ads.
About 5000 home adresses of recipients were retrieved, and the Justice Department has ordered the packages intercepted at the mail offices.

The national cyber-officer of the Department of Justice, Martijn Engberts says he is very pleased with the result.
"The greates accomplishment of this whole experiment is that from now on, criminals will no longer feel safe on the darkweb. For all they know, the site they are visiting could be run by the police".
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6321 on: July 20, 2017, 01:53:47 pm »

What happened to the good old days of buying your hard drugs in dark alleys from shifty bastards? /s
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6322 on: July 20, 2017, 01:57:19 pm »

Police kept stealing the stash
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

da_nang

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6323 on: July 22, 2017, 03:52:30 am »

Darknet markets will be moving to a decentralized model, almost certainly. OpenBazaar is one of them.

Then you just need to worry about KYC and KYM.

----------------------------------------------------------

In other news...

Quote
To the public, the first signs of trouble emerged in January when the Transport Agency's director general Maria Ågren was fired. At the time, it was said that this was due to her having a different view than the government on how the Agency's work should be carried out.

Six months later, it was revealed that in fact, she was responsible for an IT deal which allowed Czech and Romanian staff with no security clearance to gain access to the Transport Agency's database, which lists information about all vehicles in Sweden.

According to the news agency TT, the database included information on police and military vehicles, as well as people with protected identities and the routes of armoured vehicles, which could be transporting large sums of money.

Someone's fucked up hard in Sweden.

Home addresses of fighter pilots leaked. (Database wasn't even encrypted!)

Crime and suspect database leaked, access to encrypted communications leaked.

Full access to database leaked to former Serbian military. (Which no doubt Russia also has now.)

Some are even saying that infrastructure data such as roads that are suitable for military transports was leaked.

So basically everything needed to take out the logistics of Sweden's defense, not to mention wipe out the Air Force before a single plane lifts off.
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"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
Ceterum censeo Unionem Europaeam esse delendam.
Future supplanter of humanity.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6324 on: July 22, 2017, 04:20:39 am »

Holy shit they are going to need to give all their pilots new identities and new homes.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6325 on: July 22, 2017, 07:35:47 am »

Ouch, 'fucked up hard' is probably a huge understatement there. Heads gonna roll.
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Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6326 on: July 22, 2017, 03:38:29 pm »

Hmmmm confidential information about our military, should this be encrypted?

Nah.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6327 on: July 22, 2017, 04:11:33 pm »

Hmmmm confidential information


It's in a diary
This is my investigation
It's not a public enquiry
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There's two kinds of performance reviews: the one you make they don't read, the one they make whilst they sharpen their daggers
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6328 on: July 23, 2017, 07:58:07 am »

Don't worry, she was fined 70 000 Swedish Crowns.

That's roughly $8500.

Yeah.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6329 on: July 23, 2017, 10:26:30 am »

Jesus tapdancing Christ, how do you fuck up that badly?

This is approaching "Austrian army attacks itself" levels of incompetence.
Possible intentional sabotage, also seems peeps are testing Swedes
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