Round 1Turn 5Buried____________________________________________________________________________
0cra_tr0per and the wounded Pat Patterson continue to be pinned down by the unlikely combination of local police and the Reppuken throwing The_Two_Eternities. The temporary smoke screen dissipates. 0cra opens fire at the interloping officers! (9v3)(2v4). His vision cleared, the bug headed Wiki Warrior hits a bulls-eye; depriving an officer of crucial brain matter. The cop flops over like a sack of bricks, thoroughly dead. 0cra totally missed the other shot, but whatever: A kill is a kill.
“Dammit! Officer down! Officer down! I need backup now!” The remaining cop hunkers down by a large garbage container and radios for backup. (cop roll: 7) The radio crackles. “Copy that. En route” [police backup will arrive by the end of next turn] The police are not the only ones who want 0cra dead as
The_Two_Eternities swings his hands towards the store once more. REPPUKEN! (6v7) The energy wave blasts another display case into pieces. Shrapnel and debris fly, but 0cra and Pat are spared further harm. 0cra quickly moves to stabilize Pat’s grave injuries.(5) In a reverse McCoy, the Wiki Warrior is an engineer, not a doctor! 0cra crudely bandages Patterson’s wounds with scraps of cloth from the display cases. Treatment is mostly ineffective,but at least he didn’t make things worse. Pat is visibly losing color and is fading fast.
An impromptu boxing match begins in the market district as the Italian cyber nun
randomgenericusername challenges the flying mutant
Failbird105 in extreme fisticuffs. Failbird utilizes her superior flying speed to create some distance between herself and her augmented opponent. Failbird takes out her handy Kama scythe and with malicious intent, zooms back toward random! (7v8) Randomgeneric hits the deck; the kama barely grazing the top of her nun’s habit. Failbird circles around for another strafing run, but Randomgeneric steadies herself…(9+1<arms>+2v9) As Failbird drifts closer, waits for a tell tale eyebrow twitch and lands a rock solid uppercut. The camera replays the shot three times at three different angles just to emphasize the impeccable timing needed to land such a hit. Failbird tumbles wildly and cannonballs into a fruit stand, reaffirming her growing reputation as a menace to all fruit kind. The blue Wiki Warrior lies in pain. That punch packed so much wallop that it easily broke her jaw!
“Hey! The fuck did you two just do! Don’t you fucking ignore me punks, I’m a Chuckster!” That Pianta seems none too pleased with the destruction.
“That’s it! Both of you will have to leave!” The Pianta attempts some physical removal on (tails) the dazed and confused Failbird! (10v9-2<pain>) Her mind still foggy from being punched, Failbird doesn’t quite realize what is going on until she crashes through a window and into some crates. It was a hard landing, with the Wiki Warrior’s arm bent in an unnatural position. What just happened…? Was about to decapitate this boxing nun and now you’re up here. But where is here? There’s a commotion in the distance. Failbird gathers enough thoughts together to look out the window. That Chuckster threw Failbird all the way into a tower overlooking Bianco Plaza. In the distance, she sees a number of Wiki Warriors and a rather large dinosaur. Is that a Yoshi…? Yoshi aren’t that big...right?
Randomgeneric awkwardly stands alone in the marketplace after witnessing her opponent get displaced a couple city blocks. Is the boxing match over or what? ‘
You’re next!” The Pianta turns to Randomgeneric. Unless the augmented Wiki Warrior does something fast, she’s gonna get chucked too!
Hotfire90’s eyes briefly roll into his head as a gray glow emanates from the Wiki Warrior’s hands. A distant funeral dirge echoes in the air. With a flourishing gesture, Hotfire summons an ornate coffin from the ether. The polished mahogany box opens to reveal a velvet lined interior. Unoccupied, but with a haunting sense of invitation, begging for someone to lie down in it. And if Hotfire90 had his way, that someone would be
piratejoe! Hotfire shouts his orders: its time to put piratejoe away! The red bandanna meme guy shoots another potentially crippling barrage of water at the sandy Warrior. (3v3) piratejoe side steps out of the way, leaving the water streams to soak nothing but the sun touched floor tiles. With a great big leap, piratejoe attempts to get behind Hotfire! (3v7) The dino-riding, meme-making, jetpack-flyin Wiki Warrior anticipated such a maneuver! He pulls back the reins of his Iguanodon, bucking the intruder off and back towards the ground. Hotfire chases after him, igniting his jetpack. The Wiki Warrior tries to get a hold of the still wet arm of piratejoe! (4v7) It’s no use! The intense sun has already dried out piratejoe! With total control over his sandy form, piratejoe is able to resist Hotfire’s attacks! The jetpacking Wiki Warrior’s hand simply passes through the fine grains of piratejoe’s arm! In a last ditch effort, Hotfire whistles for his dino teammate to simply tackle piratejoe into the waiting coffin (10v3) The Iguanodon charges! The dinosaur catches piratejoe off guard and headbutts him in the chest. Huh, wouldn’t you know it. Dinosaurs are stronger than the average human! The force of the impact propels piratejoe right into the clutches of the open casket. A hole in one! Sensing the warm body now occupying its interior, the coffin slams shut, trapping piratejoe within. The ground beneath liquifies, absorbing the coffin deep within the earth.
It’s dark. Its quiet. Unsettling stillness. Piratejoe reaches into the darkness. His hand meets cloth. The lid. Deniel. He reaches out to his sides. More cloth. Wood. Is this..? Oh no. No. No. No! The realization. Claustrophobia starts to set in. Air is limited. Don’t panic.Not enough time to panic. The time to act is now, or this box will be truly be the final resting place of piratejoe!
“Aw shit” The Accuser battlesuit is now just a simple wheelchair. Alexander Wolfe has been reduced to bolognese sauce and Killian Dain is (2) still out of commission.
King Zultan is not in a good position and that’s all thanks to the lemon Lucha Warrior
NRDL! Yellow Temperance unwraps itself, revealing King Zultan’s true face. The Wiki Warrior opens his mouth. (9) Straight outta Old Testament, a plague of root-maggot flies shoot forth from the Wiki Warrior’s mouth. A cloud of insects descend upon Bianco Plaza, stripping down the palm trees and shrubbery. NRDL blinks out another luminous blob from his eyes, attempting to smite Zultan! (4-1<distracted by bugs>v6) Heaps of flies fall dead as NRDL fires towards Zultan’s general direction. But there’s nobody there! The bugs have cloaked King Zultan’s escape. The Wiki Warrior hotwheel’d it out of there and has taken refuge in a nearby boathouse. It's a little bit more chaotic than usual as a number startled tourists and locals attempt to ferry out of Delfino Plaza.
Bianco Plaza: Root-maggot fly swarm(1 turn remaining) <-1 accuracy rolls>
______________________________________________________________________
Name: Hotfire90
Gender: Male
Nationality: American
Status: fine
Points: 1
Gary Hebl : +2 Legal, +3 Politics +
Ability:Insurance Salesman
(20)
Submachine Gun: +
Asset: Submachine Gun (100/100)
(34)
Grandma’s Coffin: +2 Digging +
Asset: Shovel +Ability: Premature Burial
(39)
Cuánto Cabrón: +3 Meme making, +
Asset: Jetpack +
Asset: Top Hat, +
Asset: Monocle
(20)
Water Gun+
Asset: Water Gun (30/30)
(6)
Iguanodon :+
Ally: Iguanodon
Assets: Submachine Gun (70/100), Shovel, Jetpack, Top Hat, Monocle, Water Gun (24/30), $900
Abilities: Insurance Salesman: Can attempt to ‘insure’ NPCs. Player will receive a money premium each turn the Insured NPC is alive. [Max 5 NPCs] {current 1, $300 per turn}
Premature Burial: Summon a coffin. Any character placed, willingly or unwillingly, in this coffin will be subsequently buried alive! [3 turn cooldown after successful burial] [
3 CD]
AllyNICE MEME Guy- (Sand-board, status:fine <insured>)
Iguanodon: (status:fine) Herbivore dino that weighs over 3 tons. Also roughly 35ft long.
Name:The_Two_Eternities
Gender: Male
Nationality: American
Status: fine
Tornadoes of 2015: +
Ability: There’s a Storm Coming
(10)
LeBron James: +4 Basketball, +
Asset: Basketball +
Asset: 3 NBA Championship Rings
(28)
Greater Healing Scroll:+
Asset: Greater Healing Scroll
(32)
Geese Howard: +2 Business Administration, +3 Martial Arts, +
Ability:Reppuuken, +
Ability:Raging Storm
(40)
Logopedia ->
Pepsi Boom : +
Asset: six-pack of Pepsi Boom
Assets:
Basketball, 3 NBA Championship Rings, six-pack of Pepsi Boom
{Greater Healing Scroll: Target recovers from egregious medical harm.(1 use)}
Abilities: There’s a Storm Coming: Call down a tornado of varying strength to ravage the area. [4 turn cooldown after end of tornado]
Reppuken: Create a damaging chi energy wave that travels in a straight line in front of you.
Raging Storm: Create a damaging pillar of energy around you (1 turn cooldown)
Name:Failbird105
Gender: Female
Nationality: Canadian
Status:
Pain Broken Jaw Right arm brokenTransonic : +
Ability:Supersonic Flight +
Trait:Uncanny Appearance
(16)
Bloody Horse Head: +Asset: Freshly decapitated horse head(35)
Sly and the Family Stone: +3 Funk Music +
Ability: Dance to the Music! +
Asset: Greatest Hits Vinyl LP
(24) Poseidon’s Bell: +
Asset:Poseidon’s Bell
(37)
Kama: +2 Crop Harvesting +
Asset: Kama
Assets: Vinyl LP: Sly and the Family Stone Greatest Hits, Kama, unhatched Yoshi egg
{Poseidon’s Bell: Generates a protective, weather immune field around the holder. Can be mounted on ships.}
Abilities: Supersonic Flight: Player can fly at really fast speed
Dance to the Music!: Can compel characters in close proximity to dance if sufficiently funky music is playing
Trait: Uncanny Appearance: Player has obvious mutant appearance (blue scaly skin)
Name:King Zultan
Gender: Male
Nationality: American
status:fine.
Leucophora: +
Ability: Swarm Summon
(35)
The Accuser: +2 Legal +
Asset: Transforming wheelchair +
Trait:Paraplegic
(35)
Jesse Eisenberg: +1 Voice Acting, +3 Acting +
Asset: DVD copy of The Social Network
(18)
Yellow Temperance: +
Stand: Yellow Temperance
(7)
SAnitY: +2 Pro Wrestling +2 Tag Team Attack +
Ally:Killian Dain
+Ally:Alexander WolfeAssets:DVD of The Social Network
{Transforming Wheelchair: a wheelchair that is able to turn into power armor around the player.}
->
Accuser Power Armor :Provides enhanced defense and mobility to user. Converts back to wheelchair after sustained damage. Has additional built-in features <Status:
Severely damaged. Must be repaired.>
+
Ability: Saw Blade Shield: The armor is able to produce a spinning shield out of the forearm. Raver sharp and can deflect bullets. Spin function damaged.
+
Ability: Grappling Hook: Armor has built in grappling hook for increased maneuverability
Abilities: Swarm Summon: Create a concentrated swarm of root-maggot flies. Effective against vegetation (2 turn cooldown)
[2 CD]Stand:
Yellow Temperance: Amorphous blob creature bound to player’s body. Can be used to: assimilate organic matter, mimic the appearance of other characters, and as body armor
Trait: Paraplegic: Player has lost usage of their legs and cannot walk via normal means
Allies: Killian Dain (steel chair. Status:
unconscious <2 turns max>[1 turn remaining])- A big, burly, and violent wrestler. Teammates with Alexander Wolfe
Alexander Wolfe (status:
ded): A pile of gibs
Name:NRDL
Gender: Male
Nationality: Unknown
Status: fine
Tornero Gran Alternativa (2009): +3 Lucha Libre +
Asset: Lucha mask +
Asset: CMLL World Heavyweight Championship Belt
(25)
Fosh Beary : +
Asset: 5 Combustible Lemons +
Trait:Lemon Factory
(19)
HG 40: +
Asset: HG 40 SMG (32/32)
(13)
Touhou Smash Battles: +
Asset: $10,000 +
Ability: That violates my copyright!
(29)
Trisagion: +
Ability: Smiting Light
Assets:Lucha mask, CMLL Belt, 1 Combustible Lemon, HG 40 SMG (32/32), $10000
Abilities: That violates my copyright!: Accuse a character of using your content without permission! If successful, character will be assaulted by randomly spawning lawyers! (3 turn cooldown) (ready)
Smiting Light: Player can shoot blasts of searing light out of their eyes (once per turn)
TraitLemon Factory: Player, for lack of a better term, 'produces' Combustible Lemons (1 every 2 turns)
Name:0cra_tr0per
Gender: Male
Nationality:American
Status: fine
Gerald Brisco: +1 Pro Wrestling, +2 Eye for Talent, +2 Auto Repair, +
Ally: Pat Patterson
(11)
The Flood: +
Ability: Gravemind. +
Asset: Infectious vial of Flood spores
(12)
Brundle Bundle: +3 Repair +2 Robotics +
Asset: Wrench +
Trait: Man-Fly
(8.)
Volvo Viking: +
Asset: Volvo L485 Viking heavy duty truck
(15)
Defense Calling:+
Ability: Barrier
Assets:Volvo L485 Viking truck, 2 smoke grenades, gas mask, ballistic helmet, Revolver (2/6)
{Vial of Flood spores: Contains mutagenic powder. Exposure is through physical contact. Infected characters quickly transform into a Flood abomination}.
Abilities: Gravemind:Player is immune to and can control the actions of Flood creatures
Barrier:Player can project a protective barrier around themself or other objects, shielding against potential damage. (+2 to defense rolls for 2 turns. Does not affect counter-attack) (2 turn cooldown)
Trait: Man-Fly: Player is a freakish hybrid of man and fly. Expect people to react accordingly
Ally:Pat Patterson (Brass Knuckles. Status:
pain Bleeding out <death in 1 turns>)- Was the first WWE Intercontinental Champion back in the day. He's kinda old now, though.
Name: piratejoe
Gender:Male
Nationality: American
Status:
Buried Alive <Must escape in 1 turn>Hydrogen damage: +
Ability: Metal degradation
(3)
William Baker: +2 Burglary +
Trait: Sandman
(20)
Spoiled Lobster: +
Asset: Spoiled Lobster +
Ability: Induce Puking
(4)
Super Polystation 2: +3 Counterfeiting +
Asset: Boxed Super Polystation 2
(14)
Jennifer Anne Paxton: +1 Close Combat. +
Asset:Combat Knife +
Asset:Rosary Garrote +
Ally:Tactical NunAssets:Spoiled Lobster. Boxed Polystation 2. Combat Knife. Rosary Garrote
Abilities: Metal degradation: Player can induce brittleness in metals, making objects made of this material weaker
Induce Puking: Player can vomit on command
Trait:Sandman: Player’s body is comprised of shape-shifting animated sand. Player has enhanced endurance, super-strength, ability to climb walls, and has enhanced strength. Vulnerable to water and high heat.
Ally:Tactical Nun (Rosary Garrote,Combat Knife, Agency Dynamic CPW (30/30) status:
DEAD): Lost her head
Name: randomgenericusername
Gender:Female
Nationality: Italian
Status:fine
Irene Stefani: +2 First Aid. +2 Theology. +
Asset: Nun’s Habit
(35)
DeusEx Human Revolution : +
Trait: Bio-mechanically Augmented
(25)
Little Mac: +2 Boxing, +
Asset:Boxing Gloves
(16)
1 Iron: +1 Golfing +
Asset: 1 Iron golf club
(16)
24K Chainsaw:) +
Asset: Solid Gold Chainsaw
Assets: Boxing Gloves, 1 Iron golf club, Solid Gold Chainsaw.
Trait: Bio-mechanically Augmented: Parts of Player’s body has been replaced or enhanced with cutting edge technology. Augmentations are as follows:
Optical Prosthesis: Enhanced eyesight. Can see through walls. Immune to flash based blinding attacks. (+2 to perception rolls)
Landing System: Electromagnetic implants in the player’s body can slow a fall from reasonable heights (30 ft)
Advanced Arm Prosthesis: Player has superior strength, can punch through walls and is more accurate with firearms. (+1 to rolls that use the arms, +1 guns)
Dermal Armor: A nanofiber composite matrix is implanted between the layers of skin, reducing damage taken