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Author Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh  (Read 120705 times)

TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #345 on: December 29, 2018, 08:23:45 pm »

Best response to something on this forum I've seen so far.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Coolrune206

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #346 on: December 29, 2018, 08:32:30 pm »

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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Questorhank

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Vibrating and Penetration
« Reply #347 on: December 29, 2018, 10:28:19 pm »

Continue with the empire’s scientific advances. Create voidships of my own.
Attempt to bolster the barrier around the Energy Siphons “Just in case.”


Spoiler: Zarel (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: December 30, 2018, 02:15:58 am by Questorhank »
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RTD Graveyard
Many people have gone missing or died.
I don't remember their names.

The Lupanian

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #348 on: December 30, 2018, 12:03:24 am »

Ponder my sins (the goring not the fucking. The fucking was pretty great) and beg the universe for forgiveness.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I only ate a few vampire hearts. Like, three tops. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Go check out Shadow of the Void!

sprinkled chariot

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #349 on: December 30, 2018, 10:30:56 am »

Flexius the twisted
power = 2

Awesome chaos warship modified by parts from Anaconda, granting it powers of galactic cancer thing


Create highly arcane teachings of chaos firstly  granting you minor sorcerous power and giving you bigger and greater power by each step on this path at cost of inevitable chaos corruption . Create slabs of eightfold path Then enact ritual to launch slabs with this teachings to mortal nations, so they get tainted by promises of power
( spend 2 power on this )

then try to defend realm of chaos from enemies

power = 0 after this
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TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #350 on: December 30, 2018, 10:37:46 am »

You know, I was going to say that this must all look insane to the mortals, but then I remembered that the mortals don't actually see much outside of the mortal realm. Probably a good thing to be honest, since the majority of the gods are evil, chaotic, dedicated to fighting or neutral.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

CABL

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #351 on: December 30, 2018, 11:03:57 am »

Flexius the twisted
power = 2

Awesome chaos warship modified by parts from Anaconda, granting it powers of galactic cancer thing


Create highly arcane teachings of chaos firstly  granting you minor sorcerous power and giving you bigger and greater power by each step on this path at cost of inevitable chaos corruption . Create slabs of eightfold path Then enact ritual to launch slabs with this teachings to mortal nations, so they get tainted by promises of power
( spend 2 power on this )

then try to defend realm of chaos from enemies

power = 0 after this
"FLEXIUS, YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR ASSAULT ON ME! IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD, YOU'LL ACCEPT MY REQUEST TO DUEL YOU!"
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

Ombragon

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #352 on: December 31, 2018, 04:58:35 am »

You know, I was going to say that this must all look insane to the mortals, but then I remembered that the mortals don't actually see much outside of the mortal realm. Probably a good thing to be honest, since the majority of the gods are evil, chaotic, dedicated to fighting or neutral.

Well, the only contact gods had with mortals implied the genocide of two entire species
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TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #353 on: December 31, 2018, 07:23:29 am »

Exactly.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Avetruetotheimperator

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #354 on: December 31, 2018, 11:01:00 am »

Name: Lizarkar
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: Some sort of strange lizardman with a large body and a crimson body. Appeared in the mortal realms jungles one day.
Notes: This section is for notes either about yourself or stuff I tell you to add to it. Used to keep track of various things
Investigate the ruins of the winged serpents for ancient blood and potential bodies
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LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #355 on: December 31, 2018, 12:07:46 pm »

You know, I was going to say that this must all look insane to the mortals, but then I remembered that the mortals don't actually see much outside of the mortal realm. Probably a good thing to be honest, since the majority of the gods are evil, chaotic, dedicated to fighting or neutral.

Well, the only contact gods had with mortals implied the genocide of two entire species

At least for you nerds
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Ďlul Thuveg-Ellest
Rete Sano-Pima
Tormuk Dul-Orax
Kar Pum-Sisha

syvarris

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #356 on: December 31, 2018, 03:27:48 pm »

Chain the woman thing up in... whatever the deepest part of the forge is, I guess.  She tempts things around here, so she must be restrained.

Also, improve the Hearty Boys' armor.  With more chains.  Not restraining chains, just... chains.  Lots of chains.


Spoiler: Vijiriwek (click to show/hide)

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Vibrating and Penetration
« Reply #357 on: January 01, 2019, 02:07:40 pm »

1 power: EAT THE REMAINING SIPHONS AND HARNESS THEIR POWER!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[1+1]
Haku finds himself watching the battle between Sucker and Indivita in awe, and the remaining energy siphon beings take that time to hide themselves in the crater.


Spoiler: Logic (click to show/hide)
Ow. Crash-landings were bad. But this place? Was. SPECTACULAR.
Commence analysis of these slime-metal superstructures, and see if I can't find a being of this strange place to recruit for my science crew.
[2] Enal walks across the galaxy spanning megastructure, its seemingly endless expanse of planetary sized mechanisms peaking out through the shell of metal and sensor forests. However, in his rather meandering explorations he fails to find an entrance into the substructure. Despite the massive population of slimes and Spiders, he can't find anyone to talk to.

Quote
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 5 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion

Spend 3 power on leading some Hearty Boy raids in the Chaos realm

Continue efforts to build a feasting hall on the Punchship
[3+2]
Hectorclese leads the Hearty Boys in continued raids on the realm of Chaos, ripping and tearing his way across the complex and terrible culture of the chaos hordes. His men celebrate his heroism and capacity for punching the ever living shit out of things.

[6]
After a successful raid, Hectorclese attempts to build a new feasting hall but his efforts are somehow tainted by his knowledge of Attom's past works and the result is the Neokitchen, a strange version of the kitchen populated mostly by Mead Naiads that inhabit the great booze pools and Satyr chefs that are as likely to cook you a meal as to try and shank you.

I love how Anaconda constantly gets thrown around and turned into machinery while interacting with all the different gods. It definitely makes for a good introductory myth. Speaking of which.

Put 1 power into separating Anaconda's ship from the rest of the Mechaspider Armada and add 100 ships of Mechaspiders to her ship. The Mechaspiders have the same programming as the normal ones, but they will also have to follow Anaconda's orders no matter what. As for the ships, the Mechaspider's first task, as assigned by me, will be to add them onto Anaconda's ship. Use the Staff of Creation to assist me with this.

"Here, let me help you with your problem of being made into machinery constantly."

[5+1]
Credst separates Anaconda's ship from the rest of the Mechaspider Armada with perhaps too much force, flinging it across the galaxy. Not to be dissuaded, he follows along behind, and attempts to summon up a new contingent of spiderships. [6] Perhaps owing to the power of his staff, Credst accidentally converts Anaconda's Soulship into a massive Void Dreadnought, a capital ship worthy of Anaconda's eternally warlike disposition. The Spider crew follows the orders of the soul within the ship.

Name: Borkle, He-Who-Punches-Your-Face
Sphere: Conflict and battle
Power: 17
Notes: TOO SWOLE TO CONTROL. 115 Hearty Boys, 18 Hard Boys

Boarataur! FUCK YEAH! Offer it a position as the 19th Hard Boy. If it accepts. Welcome it aboard . If it refuses, space it. Continue beating the snot out of the chaos realms. Tell HECTORCLESE I love him, even though he failed. Finally, send a message to Anaconda that if she still wants in on the Punch Crusade she’s plenty welcome.
[6]
The Boarotaur agrees enthusiastically with Borkle's offer before literally leaping into the realm of chaos and beginning to rage wildly across it.   Not exactly what Borkle had in mind but he still applauds the spirit of violence in the action.

Borkle shouts praise to Hectorclese and then sends a message to the newly born ensouled dreadnought about joining his crusade to punch all of reality.

Otherwise, it's a little bonkers.)
((Given the rest of the game so far and pw's insatiable bloodlust, I assume that's intentional.))


Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 3
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -

Well, the Boy Pits didn't work out and now that spider-thing's stolen the Squishy Boy. Perhaps it's best to lead by example.

Follow the other Boys into glorious battle against these Chaos NEEEEEEEEEEERDS! Try to tame some as war beasts and exercise companions.
[4]Ultra fights valiantly in the chaos crusades but against Hectorclese his actions come up lacking. Heroic, yes, but it is hard to compete with a minor god. [6] So, he instead focuses his efforts on taming the wild beasts of the chaos realm and succeeds magnificently. Perhaps too well in fact, as he brings back 500 of the varied beasts of chaos. Though tamed, they still run wild around the punch ship, eating food, tackling Hearty Boys, and peeing on rugs.

HATE

Challenge Aigresaur to become a minor god. Wager 5 power.
(To be clear, I asked Blorkle to contribute 3 power to my wager and he appears to have accepted, please don't miss that.)


Spoiler: Anaconda (click to show/hide)
The Anaconda Dreadnought collides with the still living Giving Boar somewhere on the south edge of the known universe.  Anaconda, now in charge of yet another new body, offers a challenge to the nearby Aigresaur.

Spoiler: Vurol (click to show/hide)

"NOW, I WILL DEVOUR"
"Don't destroy our creation in your feast, colour of hunger, and please, don't eat that curry, it will be bad for us"


I uses 1 power to devour the Chittering Wyrm and uses its entrails to create the Star Kraken, an enormous slime
[4+1v1]
Vurol leaves the great slime megastructure and attacks the Chittering Wyrm. He slays it with little effort and then uses its body as the frame for the creation of a great beast of his own.  The great mass of slime and chaos flesh awaits orders from its master.

Intervene between the Boyz and the chaos. Get them to make love, not war. Sprinkle aphrodisiacs and phermones into the atmosphere.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[5]
The exact details of the Fall of 33 Hearty Boys to the temptations of chaos are unknown, but the meddling of Aigresaur surely had a hand in it. The corrupted boys, now going by the name Hedonist Boys, breed with the more than willing flesh of Chaos and produce 116 Sensationauts. These demihuman spawn exist for no reason other than to revel in all sensation, from the joy of victory to the bitter ecstasy of their own disembowelment.

Craft some armor for myself, then train with my weapon some more.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[1]
Blarg accidentally vents his legendary weapon into the void.

@Doomblade187: You are tasty-looking god. But I do not forget your help in my fight to free myself from my creator. So my offer to you is this: Help me create a world beneath this world for myself and the Energy Siphons. All souls will be guided to this world after their death to be measured. There I and my kind will feast upon the dark souls until they become pure. Only then will they be released to you to do with them as you wish.

Suck Indivita dry and become a major god in their place (option 1). My sphere shall be Death and Taxes Entropy.

Lend my Edge of Oblivion to Doomblade for a turn.

Do not allow the Energy Siphons to be killed by Haku of the Eight Tails. Destroy Haku. Use 3 power to do so.

Spend 2 power to construct the above mentioned underworld (in my speech text) with the help of Doomblade and Ep. Use and expand the molten crater if it would make sense to do so.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sucker, true to his name, drains the divine power of Indivita and becomes a major god. He then returns the Edge of Oblivion to Manor before directly attacking Haku.
[3+2v5]
Haku manages to do battle evenly with the newborn Major God, neither side able to truly win out or gain any advantage.
[3+1]

@Doomblade187: You are tasty-looking god. But I do not forget your help in my fight to free myself from my creator. So my offer to you is this: Help me create a world beneath this world for myself and the Energy Siphons. All souls will be guided to this world after their death to be measured. There I and my kind will feast upon the dark souls until they become pure. Only then will they be released to you to do with them as you wish.

Suck Indivita dry and become a major god in their place (option 1). My sphere shall be Death and Taxes Entropy.

Do not allow the Energy Siphons to be killed by Haku of the Eight Tails. Destroy Haku. Use 3 power for +2.
If that fails, simply use power to reverse their action (as stated in the OP).


Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Indivita was genuinely offended by the actions of Sucker. How rude. With the sudden reduction of power, Indivita's other personality had awoke and was fighting fiercly for dominance. Now, having been reduced to a mere demigod, Indivita had to act quickly. Its first order of business was to quickly hover out of the crater with the Energy Siphons, and fling itself towards a relatively barren area, where it could attempt to sow the seeds of a new rise to power.

Name: Indivita
God Level: Demigod
Power: 5 (10?)
Previous Spheres: Life and Energy
Description: A small, metallic octahedron that no longer really smashes mortal realms.
Notes: Previously a Major god, usurped by Sucker.

(Do I keep my previous power of 10 until I spend it, or do I just take it down to my new cap of 5, or do I lose it to 0? Likewise, would Sucker now immediately start with 10, or would he be a major god in a vulnerable position with almost no power?)
((You are capped at 5, so you have 5))
[2]
Indivita, weakened, struggles to escape the crater but cannot do so. It is a prison meant to hold him, after all.

Through telepathy or some other magical communication bullshit, boldly declare that Flexius is a coward to the nearby divine beings, and thus should be belittled at every opportunity!
Open the voidwave communications between me and Flexius, taunting and challenging him to a duel.


Spoiler: The Prowler (click to show/hide)
[1]
The prowler attempts to taunt Flexius Twisted with various insults but they all come out as oddly sexual and provocative, to the point that it seems like the Prowler is simply propositioning Flexius.

Aigresaur cheers from somewhere nearby.

@Doomblade187: You are tasty-looking god. But I do not forget your help in my fight to free myself from my creator. So my offer to you is this: Help me create a world beneath this world for myself and the Energy Siphons. All souls will be guided to this world after their death to be measured. There I and my kind will feast upon the dark souls until they become pure. Only then will they be released to you to do with them as you wish.

"Congratulations on your sudden ascent, Demon of Entropy! I know you were asking Manor, but I have some experience with underground worlds. If you like, I'll help out if Manor wishes to make your new world. I figure the energy siphons count as mortals too."

Help with the construction of a realm for the energy siphons away from the other mortals.

Spoiler: Ep (click to show/hide)
[6]
Donate 2 power to build the underworld. Spend 3 power killing indivata with the scythe (borrowed from sucker, try for the kill even if I don't have it). Spend 3 power healing and giving miracles to the mortal world.

This is not a power wager, for the record: this is an attempt to destroy indivata.


"Sucker, I accept your deal. May we rule this realm together."

"INDIVATA. YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES."


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[3+1]
[6+2 v 6]
Manor strikes down Indivita using the Edge of Oblivion, ending the reign of the god that fell to the mortal realm. Together with Ep and Sucker, he [5+3] creates the underworld using Indivita's corpse and the ruined portion of the mortal realm as the foundation.  The Underworld, connected ethereally to all points in space via Ep's maze, is blocked off using a barrier similar to the one around the Mortal Realm. All souls are drawn to it on death and the echos of dead gods live on within it.  The Energy Siphon beings are banished to it as well and become the first denizens.
[4+2]

Manor wipes away all remnants of the past conflicts in the mortal realm, banishing the ruins of the Feathered Serpents and then gifting the remaining mortals with divine abilities totally at random.

Name: Baba Chik
God Level: Demi
Power: 2
Description: old weather-beaten black man with a gleaming smile, adorned in gibber-flesh togas and crowns of teeth
Notes: 

Spend 1 power to smuggle myself and the Blood-toad aboard Attom's Food Cruiser. If said cruiser reaches the Curry of Antipathy, spend 1 power for the blood-toad to gorge itself upon the malignant stuff, growing swiftly into a void-traveling amphibious mount of speed and squelchy precision.
[2+1]
Baba Chik blasts off in one of the smaller Chaos Voidships available but his attempt to rendezvous with the Food Cruiser fails.

Grasp the newly-installed rudder, utter a quiet prayer to Attom, and set a course towards the artist formerly known as the Heart of Antipathy.
Retrieve the Curry! We shall allow no more unworthy beings to partake of it!
I will spend 1 power navigating a swift and sure path through the void, and 3 power assisting my comrades in combat against the chaos forces or any other interested parties vying for this delightfully demonic dish.
Be sure to scream various culinary warcries as I do so, such as instructing my foes to vacate theHis kitchen if their feeble selves cannot bear its heat.       

After the battle, assuming we survive, get the hell (sorry) out of Dodge with the Curry and, once free of any pursuers, spend 1 power organising the construction of some void artillery with which to equip the Food Cruiser.
Maybe a tiramisu trebuchet or two, and of course a brace of devastating crockpot cannons.     


Quote from: Sheet
Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 5       
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental
   
[3+1][3+2v6]
Uzina pilots the Food Crusier over near the Curry of Antipathy and the Chaos ships actively harvesting it, seeking to back up his patron god. Though he gets near and does voidborne battle with the spawn of chaos, he cannot get close enough to harvest the curry.

Continue with the empire’s scientific advances. Create voidships of my own.
Attempt to bolster the barrier around the Energy Siphons “Just in case.”


Spoiler: Zarel (click to show/hide)
[3]
The empire remains powerful but begins to stagnate. The loss of the Energy Siphon beings as a convenient uniting enemy leads the citizenry to become increasingly lax, self interested, and rebellious.

Ponder my sins (the goring not the fucking. The fucking was pretty great) and beg the universe for forgiveness.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It is difficult to say if the Universe answered The Giving Boar's prayer's, but Anaconda's Dreadnought does save him from the emptiness of the void...by running into him.

Flexius the twisted
power = 2

Awesome chaos warship modified by parts from Anaconda, granting it powers of galactic cancer thing


Create highly arcane teachings of chaos firstly  granting you minor sorcerous power and giving you bigger and greater power by each step on this path at cost of inevitable chaos corruption . Create slabs of eightfold path Then enact ritual to launch slabs with this teachings to mortal nations, so they get tainted by promises of power
( spend 2 power on this )

then try to defend realm of chaos from enemies

power = 0 after this
[6+1]
Flexius Twisted departs the lands of chaos and flies to the mortal realm. On the way he carves the tenets of chaos and the methods for harnessing its powers into 8 great slabs of pure crystalline madness and then fires them down into the mortal world. They pass through the barrier without issue as they are not living, and land among the mortal kingdoms.

Name: Lizarkar
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: Some sort of strange lizardman with a large body and a crimson body. Appeared in the mortal realms jungles one day.
Notes: This section is for notes either about yourself or stuff I tell you to add to it. Used to keep track of various things
Investigate the ruins of the winged serpents for ancient blood and potential bodies
Lizarkar is among the ruins of the Feathered Serpents when they are wiped from reality.  He is caught up in the disappearance and finds himself lost within the infinite tunnels of Ep's Burrow.


Chain the woman thing up in... whatever the deepest part of the forge is, I guess.  She tempts things around here, so she must be restrained.

Also, improve the Hearty Boys' armor.  With more chains.  Not restraining chains, just... chains.  Lots of chains.


Spoiler: Vijiriwek (click to show/hide)
[2][2] The Perfect Female meanders around the forges as she pleases while Vijiriwek continues halfheartedly tossing chains at no one in particular.





Power and NPC Actions incoming, Standby.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2019, 02:09:37 pm by piecewise »
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ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #358 on: January 01, 2019, 02:21:17 pm »

Get out this stinking hole and search for the slabs of chaos so I can use them for...stuff. Attempt to gather an army of magic users and divine touched too while I'm at it (1 power)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 05, 2019, 01:13:14 pm by ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES »
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piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #359 on: January 01, 2019, 02:57:33 pm »

The Realm of Chaos sends several more voidships out to directly attack the Grand Punch ship. Those out in the void finish loading the Curry and begin moving back towards the Realm of Chaos.

The Boypits create 106 new hearty boys.

The Mechspider armada investigates the newly formed Underworld but cannot get past the barrier.

The Mechaslimes begin a mysterious construction.

Zarel's Empire, suddenly filled with those capable of casting divine and chaotic magic, collapses into anarchy and internal war. The Great fortress cities burn from the inside and are reconquered by whatever faction manages to win out. Eventually the world is transformed into a wasteland of constant magical battle. Zarel maintains a small cadre of followers but otherwise the world spirals out of control. Half the population dies in the chaos.



Power
Haku 3
Hectorclese 3
Credst 3
Borkle 2
Ultra 1
Anaconda 1
Vurol 3
Aigresaur 3
Sucker 2
Manor 3
Uzina 2
Flexius 3


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