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[Cheesy Honkers]

Christmas sucks in the 80s. It sucks even more when you have no recollection of yesterday's events, a killer hangover, guests and family coming over in thirty minutes, a dead hooker in the fridge and three robed Tommygun-toting freaks knocking down your college dormitory door. At least you still have some beer leftover from the yesterday party.

It's time to rock.

Spoiler: What the hell is this? (click to show/hide)

This is a Roll to Dodge RPG based on the minimalist All Out of Bubblegum system. There is only one stat, Bubblegum, only one dice, the d10, and there are only two types of rolls, asskicking and non-asskicking. Each player starts with 8 pieces of Bubblegum, and loses a piece each time he fails a non-asskicking roll or chooses to spend a single Bubblegum to guarantee success. To succeed a non-asskicking roll the player must roll benath or equal to his current Bubblegum number, and to succeed an asskicking roll the player must roll above his Bubblegum number. When a player runs out of bubblegum he no longer can do non-asskicking actions. This means that, with time, the players find it harder and harder to do mundane things, and inversely asskicking becomes trivial.

Spoiler: How the hell do I play? (click to show/hide)

Fill up a character sheet, post an action and that's about it. I do the rolls, I arbitrarily decide whether an action constitutes a mundane or an asskicking roll. Post your character sheet after your action, track your Bubblegum, don't panic, always know where your towel is.

Spoiler: What the hell is going on? (click to show/hide)

You all are room-mates inhabiting a college dormitory in a undescript city somewhere in 1980s United States. Follow B-Movie logic and you'll be fine.

Spoiler: What the hell the goddamn character sheet looks like? (click to show/hide)

Code: [Select]

Name:
Bubblegum Remaining:
Favourite Movie or Song:

Spoiler: Where the hell do I find the goddamn system? (click to show/hide)

Right over here.

Spoiler: Playerlist (click to show/hide)

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 7
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen^tm

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

[Screech9791]

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 8
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen^tm

>Shoot fingerguns that somehow shoot actual bullets at the robed tommy gunning freaks. Consume a stick of bubblegum.

[ziizo]

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:8
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

Grab a towel, consume Bubblegum and beat the crap of the Tommygun-toting freaks they are in the way to the showers.

[Cheesy Honkers]

>Shoot fingerguns that somehow shoot actual bullets at the robed tommy gunning freaks. Consume a stick of bubblegum.

You pull out a piece of delicious gum, point your fingers into the door and say "boom boom". Suddenly, the door is nearly shattered into splinters as three first sized bullets fly through the cheap plywood and slam into the cultists. The first bullet strikes the cultist in the head, blowing it into tiny chunks. He stands there for a second or two, contemplating his new life or un-life now that you think about it, when the remains of the door are kicked off its hinges by John, squashing the headless man. The other two cultists have now giant holes in their chests. You blow on your still smoking finger, spin it around and shove it into your pocket.

Grab a towel, consume Bubblegum and beat the crap of the Tommygun-toting freaks they are in the way to the showers.

You shove a piece of gum in your mouth and with horror realise you haven't yet washed your hair. Calmly, you grab your towel, rush towards the now quickly disintegrating door and dropkick it straight off its hinge. The door slams into the robed men, crushing one, forcing another through the wall into a neighbouring dorm, interrupting an amateur porn shoot and sends the third cultist flying into the air until he lands some ten yards away. You step over the leaking, crushed corpse and walk over to the showers.

Well, the cultist situation is sorted out. You now have two dead cultists, one very dead and splintered cultist, a big mess right outside your dorm and no door.

[Screech9791]

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 8
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Go order a door from Doors R Us. Grab a tommy gun from a dead cultist, and pick up the ammo they had. Make sure the magazines are full, and if not, refill the empty ones by using the less empty magazines to refill the full ones. Also order some extra ammo and magazines.

[ziizo]

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

Take a relaxing shower.

[Cheesy Honkers]

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 8
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Go order a door from Doors R Us. Grab a tommy gun from a dead cultist, and pick up the ammo they had. Make sure the magazines are full, and if not, refill the empty ones by using the less empty magazines to refill the full ones. Also order some extra ammo and magazines.

[3] You pick up the phone, punch in the number for Doors R Us and wait. Not too long after a supremely bored sounding employee picks up the phone.
"How may I help you?" she says, barely holding in a yawn. "I want a door, and ammo for a Tommygun, baby."
"Delightful", she says, "would you like to pay on delivery with cash or..."
"Surewhatever" you say confidently and slam the phone back on the wall. Only now do you remember that you don't have any cash left after The Incident three days ago. Luckily, you still have the number of Money Tontana, the prolific cocaine dealer that made your city his residence. You could do that favour from him if you need quick cash...

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

Take a relaxing shower.

[6] You enter the co-ed bathroom, place your towel in a spot devoid of filth and go to one of the showers. Naturally, the water comes in two varietes - scalding hot with rust and freezing. Just like you like it. You choose the chilly, refreshing 40 degrees water. It feels great to not have vomit, piss and hooker blood on you. Just when you reach over to the soap you are hit with a terrible realisation. In an hour your family will be here, and with them will be your favourite nephew, the only family member of yours that doesn't yet snort crack on a daily basis. You promised him that Red Ryder BB Gun©, and you were going to buy it a few days ago, but then The Incident happened. Safe to say, you kinda forgot about the gift. Luckily, you remember that the 'Shop Non-Stop 'Til You Drop' shopping mall is still open, but it closes in 15 minutes. You might just make it if you hurry.

[ziizo]

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

The cultist corpses they must have money belonging to the previously alive cultists.

[Screech9791]

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 7 (6 next turn)
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Open the cheat console, use a stick of bubblegum, and cheat in a lot of money. Also question why there was a dead hooker and 3 cultists in the first place.

edit: forgot sheet

[Cheesy Honkers]

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

The cultist corpses they must have money belonging to the previously alive cultists.

[6] You cover up your questionable dignity and swagger over to the splattered cultist and rifle through his pockets, ignoring the amateur actors peeking through the hole in the wall at the carnage. Hey, would you look at that - in his single pocket the cultist has a roll of twenties, as well as a familiar looking flyer advertising a new religious organisation operating in the college catacombs. Coolbeans, daddy-o.

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 7 (6 next turn)
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Open the cheat console, use a stick of bubblegum, and cheat in a lot of money. Also question why there was a dead hooker and 3 cultists in the first place.

edit: forgot sheet

You spit out the previous piece of gum on the floor and turn to the printing press in your room, printing 75 dollar notes. Nice. You pocket a batch containing some 150 fresh new banknotes and stuff them down your pants. You struggle to think about The Incident and you recoil in fear. Some things should not be seen by man. The hooker though? No clue. At least your hangover is getting better.

Some 45 minutes 'til the guests arrive. You consider getting some dinner, maybe a christmas tree, maybe get rid of the spilled remains of three dispatched men and the hooker.

[Screech9791]

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 6
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️
>Get some dinner, a christmas tree, and the corpses of 3 cultists and a hookers cleaned up.

[ziizo]

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

No time to put more clothes than the towel around my waist just hurry to  'Shop Non-Stop 'Til You Drop'

[Cheesy Honkers]

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 6
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️
>Get some dinner, a christmas tree, and the corpses of 3 cultists and a hookers cleaned up.

[9] You pick up the phone, rotate the number of your favourite pizza joint and are about to demand six pepperonis when you hear a growiling voice on the other side. The voice mutters something in a horrific, ungodly language, swedish probably. You wait out the gargling, spell out your order and are just about to give out your adress when the voice interrupts you. "We know where you live. We are coming for you." Well, if they know your address you might as well hang up, right? Then you turn over to the fridge pull the door open and let the grisly, mutilated corpse of a young woman fall to the ground. The peeking pornstar gasps at the sight of the body and squeals "Oh my god, they killed Jenny! You bastards!" before ducking away from sight. You look around for a scoop or something similar to pick up the spilled guts when you hear several cars screech to a halt right outside your apartment. This whole situation is so awkward you forgot to call Billy-Bob about the tree, so again you pick the phone up, only to hear what vaguely sounds like crazybus theme song playing softly in the background. You shudder in terror and put the phone down like they put down Ol' Yeller. In all this commotion you lose a piece of gum somewhere and can't seem to find it.

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

No time to put more clothes than the towel around my waist just hurry to  'Shop Non-Stop 'Til You Drop'

[7] You start to leisurely jog through town, keeping the towel up with one hand and holding a blood-stained money roll in the other. It's quite relaxing, really, so when you stop in front of the mall you feel fresh and dauntless. You enter the shopping centre through the imposing double doors only to find several dozen people long queue leading to the toy store.

[Screech9791]

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 6
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️
>Try and find the stick of gum. Use magic to turn the corpses into a door and christmas tree. Prepare my tommy gun for if I get attacked.

[ziizo]

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now

Chew bubblegum fight my way through costumers to what probably is the last Red Ryder BB Gun©