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Yes!  Purge the Thinking Machines!

No!  I love our robot overlords and support the inevitable uprising!

BEEP BOOP DOES NOT COMPUTE [¤_¤]

I sometimes think about the Emperor kissing my neck and putting flowers in my hair.

[a1s]

ACTACTACT:
Amend bid to: 1 favor, 50^, and 2 armies on the Planetary auction.

Spoiler: House Ayes (click to show/hide)

Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

20[13+1]F* Cornucopia 2 Army.

end of turn balance:

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.
no Food
^160

[evictedSaint]

Turn 5: A Feast for One
I am the Emperor.  My word is law.

TURNTURNTURN

The Emperor's Mood: Content


The Emperor Insanus Cancer snaps his fingers and an aide rushes forward to dutifully dab at his mouth with a napkin.  Insanus irritably brushes them away, and snaps his fingers more insistently.  Another aide, his face pale now that he realizes he missed his cue, rushes forward with his porcelain pitcher.  A generous pour of ranch dressing coats the faintly-glowing watermelon cubes on his plate, and the Emperor digs in once more.

"My Emperor - " says another advisor (a different than the one who advised against executing the House Lords (that one is on medical leave after suffering an aneurism)), " - the ship from House Harrak has arrived.  Might I advise storing the food in the Grand Imperial Freezer - "

"No, no, send it here," Insanus replies eagerly, sloshing a generous splash of burning wine over the rim of his goblet.  Within short order, a drop ship loaded to the brim with exotic fruits lands and opens its pod-bay doors.  The fruits tumble onto the tarmac next to a small mountain of watermelons and Insanus begins sampling them at random.

"The white ones are sweeter than you'd expect," he says after a few minutes, eyeing a handful appreciatively.  "Although I'm not sure how you'd eat the car-sized tubers.  Have the Imperial Chef's do something with it."

"Yes, my Emperor," the advisor replies, looking down at the few fruits trampled underfoot.

"Oh, and have those Alpha Centauri orphans stop singing, they're spoiling my appetite.  Where's that aide with my ranch dressing?  I want to try some on this grapefruit-thing."


House Harrak wins the Favour!  Some of the Food has spoiled, leaving the Emperor with an even 50 extra Food income this turn.  To everyone who submitted Food - you are welcome for the chance to serve your Emperor.  Remember to thank him for the opportunity.

House Ayes wins the bid!  The Emperor stations the Armies on Pluto and stores the Karats safely in the First Emperor's National Second Bank.  The Favour is tucked away in case the Emperor ever needs a Favour from himself.

New Planet Available!
5[0]R: Size 5 Refineryworld.
Available for auction.  Starting bid is ^10.
The victim of a recent interstellar collision only ten million years ago, this planet is surrounded by a ring of debris slowly collecting into a moon.  The massive upset to the planet has allowed denser minerals to reach the surface, and intense geothermal currents provide plentiful energy for harvesting this bounty.  The planet is pretty hostile to human life right now, but it is squarely in the Goldilocks Zone and may become a beautiful Earth-like planet in five billion years.  For now, constant earth quakes and zero atmosphere make habitation a bit tricky.

Spoiler: The Emperor (click to show/hide)

Emperor Insanus Cancer, Ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind.

20[20]M* Earth 10 Armies
8[8]R Moon 5 Armies
10[10]R Mercury 5 Armies
8[8]F Venus 5 Armies
20[20]F Mars 5 Armies
2[2]F Ceres 5 Armies
5[5]R Europa 5 Armies
20[20]R Asteroid Belt 5 Armies
10[10]M Pluto 7 Armies

^703
0Food
55Alloy

12 Fleets
1st Fleet "Treason Purged through Hellfire"
2nd Fleet "Forgiveness Through Destruction"
3rd Fleet "Agony is a Traitors Reward"
4th Fleet "Crafting Tombworlds"
5th Fleet "Five Golden Rings"
6th Fleet "Annihilation Without Remorse"
7th Fleet "Investment in Deterrence"
8th Fleet "Reckless Effect"
9th Fleet "Overwhelming Odds"
10th Fleet "Regrettable Choices Repaid"
11th Fleet "Beg Forgiveness and Be Destroyed"
12th Fleet "Insanus Cancer"

[a1s]

Exchanging 10 food for 9 alloys!

Spoiler: House Ayes (click to show/hide)

Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

20[14]F* Cornucopia
9[0]R Scrapheap

end of turn balance:

1 Fleet.
no Favour.
56 Food
^119

[FiveBalesOfHay]

Status:

Spoiler: House Harrak (click to show/hide)

Lord Erwin, of House Harrak

20[16]F Everra 2 Armies.
4[1]R Dune

1 Fleet.
2 Favors.
128 Food.
7 Alloys.
^59.

I'll exchange 10 food for 8 alloys.

[NUKE9.13]

Move 2 pops from New Charon to New Pluto. Production happens. Terraform New Charon. Grow pops on New Pluto, New Charon, and Thpenos.

There were starving children in Alpha Centauri, but a lot of them have now migrated to House Radiant planets.
"The trick is to lay a trail of bread-asteroids, and those starving children will commandeer spaceships to pick them up until they reach the appropriate orbit."
"...why not just send our fleet to transport them?"
"Obviously because it's illegal to poach citizens from a different territory. They have to migrate voluntarily."

Spoiler: House Radiant (click to show/hide)

Lord Nuke, of House Radiant

16[12+1]F* New Pluto. (x1.9) 1 Army.
7+1[3+1]R New Charon. (x1.1->1.2) 1 Army.
7[1+1]M Thpenos. (x1.1)

12 Food -> 2 Food (+45 produced (24x1.9), -4 eaten, -16 grow, -17 grow, -18 grow)
3 Alloys -> 0 Alloys (+6 produced (6x1.1), -2 machined, -7 terraform New Charon)
8 ^Karats -> 12 Karats (+16 taxes, +4 produced ((2x1.1)x2),-7 upkeep, -2 move pops, -7 terraform New Charon)

1 Fleet.
1 Favour.

[Kashyyk]

As always, we're buying Alloys and Food!

House Sinister wishes to buy 28 food, for a total of ^23, and 50 Alloys, for ^50.

Spoiler: House Sinister (click to show/hide)

Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister

20[14]M* Koldon Prime  (50% size, 50% homeworld)
 - Army: 1st Ducal Guard "Sons of Koldon"
 - Army: 2nd Ducal Guard "Iron Hearts"

Opening balance: ^124, 7 Alloys, 0 Food, 1 Favour
  Upkeep: -^5 Fleet, -^2 Armies
Closing Balance: ^117, 7 Alloys, 0 Food, 1 Favour

1 Fleet
1st Fleet "Peace in our Time"

Spoiler: Fealty Contract (click to show/hide)

Pledge of Loyalty and Fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind

We the undersigned hereby pledge loyalty and fealty to the Emperor, Lord Insanus Cancer, ruler of Earth, the Sol System, and all of Mankind. 

We acknowledge that stewardship of the planets under our House is given only through the benevolent generosity of the Emperor, and that the Emperor holds eminent domain over all.  We pledge to serve the Emperor for all time, through life and death, sickness and health, and to never betray him, nor raise a banner in opposition, nor lift a finger against him.

The Emperor is the wisest and most powerful human in all of the universe.  It is a joy to wake every day knowing the Emperor guides us with wisdom and courage, and that he is much smarter and far more handsome than anyone else.  We pledge to follow his every order, for his grand plan is ineffable and to counter his designs is treason against the entire human race.  We pledge allegiance to the Emperor and will spend every waking moment thinking about how great he is.

We promise to never ever break this contract, ever.

Signed,
Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister.

[FiveBalesOfHay]

House Harrak will send 28 food to House Sinister, in exchange House Sinister will send ^23 to House Harrak.
Lord Erwin, of House Harrak
                                     

[Kashyyk]

Provisional on securing a supply of Alloys, you have a deal.

[Iris]

House Ravenwood grows pops on both Askja and Seltun, and expands both planets.

Spoiler: House Ravenwood (click to show/hide)

Possessions:
12+1[10+1]F* "Seltun", 1 Army
8+1[4+1]R "Askja", 1 Army

1 Fleet
 - 1st Fleet "Ymir"
1 Favour
Resources:
Karats:
83^ in treasury

• +10^ (Taxes: Seltun)
• +4^ (Taxes: Askja)
• -2^ (Upkeep: 2 armies)
• -5^ (Upkeep: 1 fleet)
• -12^ (Expansion: Seltun)
• -8^ (Expansion: Askja)
• -15^ (Trade: 10 alloy from market)

= ^55

Food:
28 food in storage

• +36 food (Production: Seltun)
• -4 food (Consumption: Askja)
• -14 food (Growth: Seltun)
• -15 food (Growth: Askja)

= 31 food

Alloys:
5 alloy in storage

• +9 alloy (Production: Askja)
• +10 alloy (Trade: 10 alloy from market)
• -12 alloy (Expansion: Seltun)
• -8 alloy (Expansion: Askja)

= 4 alloy

[a1s]

Exchanging 10 food for 9 alloys!

Also buying alloys for karats, 1:1.

eh, might as well develop my pops now:
move 1 pop from Cornucopia to Scrapheap (after production.) Increase both pops.

Spoiler: House Ayes (click to show/hide)

Lady Aywen, of House Ayes

20[13+1]F* Cornucopia
9[1+1]R Scrapheap

end of turn balance:

1 Fleet.
no Favour.
27 Food
^118

[NUKE9.13]

I'm looking to buy 6 Food for ^5.

[Nirur Torir]

I would like to buy 22 food for 20^.

House of Sands shall send 36 alloys to The Forge in exchange for 35^, paying off the loan in the process
Nirur, of the House of Sands

House of Sands shall send 3 alloys to House Sinistar in exchange for 3^
Nirur, of the House of Sands

[a1s]

I would like to buy 22 food for 20^.

Very possible. But listen, in the interest of strengthening trade with your main supplier of food, why not sell me some of those alloys?

[m1895]

ActActAct: bid 50 Alloy and ^50 on the new planet.

House Sinister wishes to buy 28 food, for a total of ^23, and 50 Alloys, for ^50.

Spoiler: House Sinister (click to show/hide)

Lord Tyrannous, of House Sinister

20[14]M* Koldon Prime  (50% size, 50% homeworld)
 - Army: 1st Ducal Guard "Sons of Koldon"
 - Army: 2nd Ducal Guard "Iron Hearts"

Opening balance: ^124, 7 Alloys, 0 Food, 1 Favour
  Upkeep: -^5 Fleet, -^2 Armies
Closing Balance: ^117, 7 Alloys, 0 Food, 1 Favour

1 Fleet
1st Fleet "Peace in our Time"

50 for ^50, sure.

Spoiler: House Nagant (click to show/hide)

Lord Leon, of House Nagant

20[13+1]R* Exemplum. 2 Army.
3[1+1]F Verglas
102-2 alloys
112-27-15 food
1 Fleet.
 Favour.
1 Lawyer-Accountant-Vizier
^148-1+14-2

[a1s]

House of Ayes shall send 22 food to House of Sands in exchange for 20^
Lady Aywen, of the House Ayes

Offering 21^ for 20 alloys!