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[Slappy Moose]

Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

[Dasqoot]

I hope there's a way to influence what type of triage and what level of care your dwarves receive.

Mine, of course, is going to involve nothing but leeches and 'walking it off' following amputations.

[Slappy Moose]

I hope there's a way to influence what type of triage and what level of care your dwarves receive.

Mine, of course, is going to involve nothing but leeches and 'walking it off' following amputations.

You could probably just not make splints, and only make bone saws or something.

That way the only option is either bed rest for a year or cut a limb off.

[scribbler]

Hmm, you've got gangrene. We have to remove the leg or you'll die. But, while I have many axes, swords, knives, giant serrated disks with spikes of leather, I don't have a bone saw. I'm sorry.
Boot weit. Me brootha can forge you one.
...
Bootha, I have the boon sawh.
's too late, brootha. I am done for.
What?
He has looked himself in the store room. He is making a granite scalpel with pictures of socks!
Boot what oov yoor leg?
For a scalpel that menaces with spikes of mule bone, I would give my leg, for the goot oov the mountain home.
And thee other doctors?
I already have a doctor and this room is in use. No one will come until the doctor is done and has finished with me.
Boot the other patients?
For a scalpel with fine engravings of cheese made from oak, they will wait as long as is necessary. Even, Ewan McRedsheert over there.
With the goblin axe stook in hez hed?
That's the oone.
Darn carp it! Eye needed that iron!
Boot for a scalpel with rings of pure onyx...
Eye, for that I can get ootha iron... Boot Brootha... wat if yoo shood die?
For a scalpel... well actooly, I'll confoose the poor doc. Being unable to treat me e'll joos walk away and leave the room too cluttered to work. The others will, in time die of hoonga while waitin for treatment and yoo, having lost your dear brootha, will succoom to sobriety and go on a rampaj, killing every living thing in grief for yoo loss and actin oot at tha meeninglessness of deth.
Boot it twill be a lovely scalpel.
Aye very tasteful.
Think I'll get to see it before you die and I throw myself in the lava?
Eye doono. I've been bleeding for three weeks already.

[Skid]

So much signature material...

You have too much blood in your alcohol system.

I'm keeping this.

[mythmonster2]

Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

Yeah, this thread would be a great sig. But this quote I like the best, mainly because I was actually thinking this on the first page! Then I clicked on the second page and laughed loudly when I saw this quote.

[Goblin Macelord]

I wonder – would it be possible for low skill dwarven doctor to harm the patient? He, he, he. I am goblin, you know.

[InsanityPrelude]

I can't wait for this. My current fort has a couple dwarves lying in bed wasting space permanently because they each lost a leg to spoilery things. If it weren't for the fact that I'm using the area above their rooms, I'd collapse the ceiling on them to put them out of their misery. 

[Puck]

I rarely ever customize my dwarves. But you can bet your excess stone, there'll be a Dr.Urist House, MC (stands for the Mc in front of "House") in my clinic. Getting his leg injured (and only that leg, and nothing else) without 3rd party software will be a bit challenging. Getting him addicted to something will be a bit easier.

"Needs vicodin to get through the working day" will be impossible, without modding, I guess.

[LegoLord]

I'd make one named Indiana.  Wrong kind of doctor, yes, but it will still be cool to have an Indiana in the fort that the game automatically calls "doctor."

[bamorrow]

In 1052, EyeballError the Bursting of Blood, a Dwarven Plague, was released by foolish Doctors in StinkLeeches

[Yanlin]

Speaking of wrong kinds of doctor...



Oh look. He's performing surgery on that antlion.

[The Doctor]

With... a crowbar.
...Huh.

[Yanlin]

Yes. He is teaching those striders how to surrender operate on antlions with crowbars.

[Slappy Moose]

Yes. He is teaching those striders how to surrender operate on antlions with crowbars.

Oh Gordon Freeman, what medical procedure can't you educate alien war machines about?