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[Red Minjo]

My fortress has been fairly quiet for a few years, with no seiges and few ambushes or robberies.  Most of my problems I've created myself by ignoring the nobles. (Poor engraver got beaten badly recently.)  I have had two megabeasts decide to drop by, though.  The first this year was a titan, who went down to a champion wrestler, his pal, and an elite marksdwarf in a few seconds with no damage on our side. 
What really surprised me was when a dragon came in winter that same year and charged up to my 3 story tower by my hole-in-the-ground entrance.  I saw a shot or two go off and my wrestler grabbed the dragon and held him in place.  I figured it was only a matter of time before he was shot to death or swarmed, but I saw the newbie marksdwarf I had shifted in rush down the tower towards the dragon.  I realized he was out of ammo and started to worry a bit for his safety, and of course he ran straight towards the dragon with his crossbow held high.  He then proceeded to club the dragon through the air about a good ten spaces diagonally untill it crashed into a tree and died with no previous injury above light grey.  When I was inspecting to confirm it was his kill, I found that he had no skill in hammering at all, and no kills at all to his name.  Apparently, all my dwarves that aren't in the hospital beds (nearly half the guards) are potential killing machines.

[AtomicPaperclip]

Didn't happen today but

I had a Titan come, so naturally I activate my marksdwarves and man the catapults.

The bastard lobs itself down the channels and lands stunned on the floor, gets back up

Runs through my emergency weapon traps bleeding all over the place and runs around screaming through my fort

Ran straight through my barracks, goes down and scares all my masons, goes down and scares all my farmers, goes down and scares everyone in the dining room, and finally runs into my statue garden and fights my entire fortress guard (several of which are champions) for like 15 seconds before it finally died.

I was surprised that it actually pathed down the channel (walked right past my main entrance, it didn't dodge)

[Blargityblarg]

I have two elite wrestlers i'm training up. One got a hammer, the other an axe. The axedorf trained up that much more quickly.. He was 'Adept' before the hammerdorf was novice.

[Kel the Oblivious]

My legendary herbalist, in the middle of an orc siege, walks outside to go pick up some flowers. Right through the hail of arrows, several times, not dying. He even got a nice stack of cotton out of it, and then was plugged through the head. Good times.

[Eidalac]

Well, I recall the time the north side of my map was on fire (screw you fire imps!).  As the wall of flame neared the north gate, I forbid the whole area, plus all items, and raised the draw bridge on that side.  See, I knew dwarfs were fire-dumb, so wasn't taking any chances.

Or so I thought when I gave the "all dwarves stay inside" order.

Several of them, from in the courtyard, a goblin-punt away from the entrance, elected to walk out of the south gate, west up over the mountain, north over the mountain, and east into the plains.

That were on FIRE.

They walked through the fire, unharmed (all 6 of them).

Then they turned around.

They got halfway back before they finished burning to death.  All of them.

Upside - they turned around because they got thirsty.

I still can't figure out what pathing oddness made them want to take that dead end route.

[KylonOrina]

I still can't figure out what pathing oddness made them want to take that dead end route.

Yeah in one of my recent forts, my mason for some reason pathed around to the nearby chasm that was open to the world at the top. He got webbed and killed in short fashion by a GCS.

[Starver]

Completely different from the above, but just yesterday I realised (after a long time of playing; and many, many times typing the name into spreadsheets and assorted planning documents and personal look-up tables) that it was Sliver Barb, not Silver Barb.

Although I still hold that something silver would naturally be a source of black dye.  Which the s[li|il]ver barb is.

[Slogo]

It's not so surprising to me now but it was one of my first fortresses with the dreaded carp. The map featured two rivers. One large one (full of carp) and one smaller one that was carp-free and flowed via waterfall into the other river. The fortress was situated where the two rivers met. My fisherdwarves had happily decided to fish at the non-carp river so all was well for the fort. Until the first immigration wave arrived. They came in from the west and pathed along the carp infested river, going right up next to it for a 10-20 tile stretch of it. I tried to setup a restricted zone along the river but alas it was too late. The river ran red that day and claimed a good number of dwarves. The surprising part to me is that each dwarf didn't seem to mind seeing their companions torn apart (or drowned) 15 feet infront of them. They seemed totally unphased by the carnage and just continued to march along single file towards the fort and their doom.

[Iburnaga]

I made domestic dragons that were also trainable. Great times toasting everything including half my fortress. That wasn't surprising.What was surprising was when a titan ran into my fortress and got stuck in a cage trap. That's not the surprising part. The surprising part was that the elves were at the depot right next to my animal stock pile. And four dragons were just relaxing there. So I think "Why not sell the titan" So I try movign the titan to the depot. Big mistake. He breaks out the four dragons flame him and the elves and a legendary armorer at once. There was nothing left. Not a thing. Even a dragon got toasted. Not even bones were left. Friggin elves and all their cloth.

[Leafsnail]

The dwarven liason frequently surprises me with his idiocy.  Accidentally falling into a moat I'm digging, (not filled with water, so he survived fine) accidentally falling down my garbage chute, (serious injuries, but he got out ok) deciding that it would be a brilliant idea to follow my miner into the room that is to become a reservoir (with extremely predictable results) and, most recently, standing on a floor that was about to be collapsed through 5 z levels of other floors and then into a magma pipe.

[kotekzot]

The dwarven liason frequently surprises me with his idiocy.  Accidentally falling into a moat I'm digging, (not filled with water, so he survived fine) accidentally falling down my garbage chute, (serious injuries, but he got out ok) deciding that it would be a brilliant idea to follow my miner into the room that is to become a reservoir (with extremely predictable results) and, most recently, standing on a floor that was about to be collapsed through 5 z levels of other floors and then into a magma pipe.

is he okay?

[Leafsnail]

In the traditional sense of the word?  No, he's been dissolved in magma.

[dogstile]

The dwarven liason frequently surprises me with his idiocy.  Accidentally falling into a moat I'm digging, (not filled with water, so he survived fine) accidentally falling down my garbage chute, (serious injuries, but he got out ok) deciding that it would be a brilliant idea to follow my miner into the room that is to become a reservoir (with extremely predictable results) and, most recently, standing on a floor that was about to be collapsed through 5 z levels of other floors and then into a magma pipe.

is he okay?

you sir, just gave me the biggest laugh i've had all day

its 1:24AM though, so you have 22 hours and 36 minutes to hold the title, good luck

[Blackburn]

Reading this topic, a thought occured to me.

Is it POSSIBLE to play Dwarf Fortress so much that it stops surprising you?

[Samus1111111]

definately not possible