Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[rufio]

This is what I think must have happened: a migrant came to my fort wearing a GCS-silk sock.  S/he wore it until it wore out, and then discarded it somewhere random, the way they do.  Some enterprising item hauler then stuck it in the finished goods stockpile near the Jeweler's Shop, which I had neglected to properly restrict to stone and metal items.  Then a couple of my jewelers went crazy, and not in the good, artifact-producing way:



As mentioned in the title, it's worth about $5000, which is more than most of my finished goods bins.  And that's just the base value - at the prices my nobles have marked up, it's apparently more like $9000.

How does this even work, anyway?  How do you encrust a sock with gems, let alone a threadbare sock, let alone decorate it with "hanging rings of well-crafted Star Sapphire" and still have room for several intricate images besides?  How has this sock not fallen to peices by now?

(And no, not all of these gems are actually native to my map - I've been importing them from caravans.  If I'd known they were just going to put them all on a sock, I wouldn't have bothered.)

[Kidiri]

The sock is being held together by the gems. You know how dwarves love their socks. Your gem setters decided that sock really needed saving.

[quinnr]

That would hurt to walk on.

[rufio]

Maybe they should just cut to the chase and make the socks out of gems in the first place, right?    I have artifacts that are entirely made out of gems (as in, "This is a sapphire idol"), so I wonder if it's actually possible for them to make socks out of gems too, if they're artifact socks.  (Do you get artifact socks?)

Before I saw this, though, I didn't even realize that silk and plant-fiber clothing could be encrusted with gems at all.

[BodyGripper]

A gem-encrusted sock is perfect for ass-kicking.

[NW_Kohaku]

That's OK, I've purchased some stupider crap.  I still can't get over how I have a standard-quality tower cap barrel... with a superior engraving of my queen's coronation engraved in black diamonds.

I already said this in another thread, but, it still reminds me of the Dave Chapelle skit, where he was making fun of absurdly wealthy rap stars on Cribs.

"Alot of people ask me why I encrust my food with diamonds.  Well, ONE, it's about the BALLINEST thing you can do, and TWO, it makes my dookie twinkle!"

Now then, trade that gem-encrusted masterpiece stinky laundry for the last two dragon eggs in your world's existence, and make some omelettes out of them.

[Jyppa]

You've all got it wrong, that sock is not for wearing. It's what you hang over the magma pits for dwarfmas.

[Jackrabbit]

Yeah, but most Dwarfmasses begin with: "Thief! Protect the horde from the skulking filth!" and end with a dead fat man in jolly colors, your best bet is to just put it in the dining room so people are cheered up by its very presence.

[NW_Kohaku]

What, when a jolly fat man goes down your fortress's chimney carrying a sack filled with massive valuable toy stacks, YOU wouldn't activate the spike traps at the base of the chimney, take the loot, decorate it, and sell it back to his hippy elven workers, and make a *Santa skull totem*?

What are you, an elf?

[rufio]

Ahh, the Spirit of Dwarfmas.   

(That reminds me, though - I wish that when you made skull totems out of megabeasts the game at least retained the name of the megabeast.  "This is a titan skull totem" just doesn't do it for me.  Where are the epic recountings of my hammerdwarf sending said titan flying across the map with a single blow of his artifact warhammer?)

[NW_Kohaku]

In the spirit of the OP...

I got my glass factories up and running, and now that I have an inexhaustable supply of cheap "gems", that also means I'm actually using my gemcutters (which is good, since my very first successful artifact was an alexandrite idol, and she's done nothing with the skill since), I told the two gemcutters to get about decorating junk...

Well, it turns out that they've been encrusting things, alright... they've been encrusting my clear glass vials I built to make an alchemist's lab with green glass, because the nearest glass-accepting stockpile is right next to the gemsetters.

Way to go, guys!  Helping the team...

[bmaczero]

Only one thing to do!  Buy an entire dwarven caravan with a single sock!

Oh, wait...you can already do that.

What, when a jolly fat man goes down your fortress's chimney carrying a sack filled with massive valuable toy stacks, YOU wouldn't activate the spike traps at the base of the chimney, take the loot, decorate it, and sell it back to his hippy elven workers, and make a *Santa skull totem*?

What are you, an elf?

I think I found a new sig.

[Aspgren]

That's OK, I've purchased some stupider crap.

I bought dogs. Then I decided I had to many dogs and chasm'd them.

[Bandages]

That's OK, I've purchased some stupider crap.

I bought dogs. Then I decided I had to many dogs and chasm'd them.

All those potential dog steaks. gone. you are a monster.

[MoonLightBird]

That's OK, I've purchased some stupider crap.

I bought dogs. Then I decided I had to many dogs and chasm'd them.

All those potential dog steaks. gone. you are a monster.

And all that good dog leather that can be drawn on with dog leather!