A night creature stole my pants.
Did it kill you with them?
No but it definitely tried to.
Did you kill it?
This whole exchange is beautiful and Imma shove it in my sigtext somewhere.
I've rolled up a humble outsider-peasant, skilled in the art of Kisat Dur. I've been wandering the hamlets of the local humans for some days now, and now what should I run into but a band of marauding goblin bandits, plundering their way through the half-abandoned village of Tinsnarl!
The bandits surrounded me, weapons in hand, and demanded that I yield and deliver unto them whatever valuables I might happen to possess. Poor and proud as I was, I leapt out of harm's way and refused!
What followed was a prolonged goose-chase between me and seven bandits, all intent on pounding me into a little smear on the ground! With patience and skill I snatched at the weapons of my enemies time and again, dodging and leaping away in the hopes of rendering them without means of defence should the fight turn ugly. After awhile I'd disarmed the lot of them, throwing a blow or two in the process; the goblins grew sluggish and weary as they gave chase. The time had come to seize my opportunity.
Still dodging like a mad thing, I threw a swift array of wild punches to the heads of two straying goblins, rendering them unconscious; with two kicks to the throat I took their lives immediately thereafter. My enemies broke and fled before me; the hunt had reversed, for always the hunt had been under my control. Two more I chased down and slew before the last bandits escaped; I made my way to the river and felled two further.
The last bandit, a mace-goblin by the name of Simo-- the very same mace-goblin that had demanded I yield to its fellows!-- eluded me. I gave chase as best I could, but Simo was a speedy little varmint; I could keep him in my sights well enough but catching up to him for a killing blow was proving difficult. The two of us scurried along in tandem for some time, until together we ran into a game-changer: a herd of unsuspecting horses.
Suddenly remembering which version I was playing, I seized a horse, leapt upon its back, and began the pursuit anew! My new riding buddy was swift, well-rested-- and
murderous. We soon caught up with the hapless Simo, and my horse (!) proceeded to beat the ever-living tar out of him. Simo caught a severe case of explodey-head, and my horse claimed a title: Lancerstrap.
Looking about, I realized: this wild chase had taken Lancerstrap and I right to the village mead-hall! The two of us proceeded therein; I told the story of our heroism and gifted Lancerstrap to the lady of the village. Tremendously pleased with her new gift
(she stayed like this the entire time we spoke, no jokes or flattery required!)the lady Astri explained to me at length the various troubles of the land. It seems there's a bit of a bandit epidemic in the area.
I am Ulsa Skyfallen the Crazed. I have much bandit-killing to do-- first, though, I think I should like to poke about that lair to the southwest. I'm told there's a cyclops in it!
tl;dr: Horses are scary. Also: if you need for whatever reason to have a real long conversation with somebody, gift them an animal first! It works wonders.
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Topic: What's going on in your adventure? (Read 2152394 times)