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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 938980 times)

NightmareBros

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #360 on: November 12, 2010, 09:43:47 pm »

Oh come one, it'd fit Failcannon to have
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In other news, Beard-signiture is going to be my new security system. You can't beat it.
Logged

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #361 on: November 12, 2010, 09:51:40 pm »

A beard scanner would be the best thing.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

LordSlowpoke

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #362 on: November 15, 2010, 11:31:57 am »

Code: [Select]
...

>connect

    Communications dish detected. Attempting to connect...
    Connected.

>load board/failcannon

/failcannon

>srtfile rep1

    File created.

>load board/main/textedit board/failcannon/rep1

[STX] - Report of Lord Slowpoke, fortress overseer,
20.06.522

I apologize for the delay in reports, but the vil
lage didn't have a communications dish available.

Herein, I confirm that I have established control
of the facility, I am able to report, and shall do
 so.

Case one: Clearing the aboveground

As it was known, the plain area above the settleme
nt of Battlefailed was almost literally covered i
n goblins, kobolds, undead animals and corpses. M
y plan for their undoing is described in the atta
chment as a separate status report.

Before we had a chance to use it, the goblins kil
led the kobolds, and did the same to the "skelks"
, as the locals call them. I shall refer to them
 in that way from now.

Some progress on the magma cannon was made, but t
here's a problem with the general ocean-caverns w
ater movement, so I'll leave it for the skilled t
echnicians you'll send for us next year. Currentl
y, six are dead, nobody important, but the death
toll is going right up due to failures of the las
t overseers.

P.S. I'll kill the guy who sent me a machine wit
h a 50 character limit. - [ETX]

>send report/standard

>logout

    Logging out...
    Have a dwarven day.


A lone dwarf leaves, his mind pondering.

A lost soul wanders, waiting for what happens...
Logged

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #363 on: November 15, 2010, 01:10:46 pm »

Oh god, there's a magma cannon. This will be great.
Logged
Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Mekboy

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  • [MEGABEAST_EATER]
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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #364 on: November 15, 2010, 03:15:06 pm »

This is the true Battlefailed way.

Magma cannons.
Logged
Quote from: CatalystParadox
Aw, Mekboy! A song for meeeee?
You're so sweet.  Why don't you just come in here so I can give you a hug.
... bring my pants.
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
You seem to be under the illusion that we give a shit about what happens to dwarves who are too dumb to live.

NightmareBros

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #365 on: November 16, 2010, 02:23:52 pm »

Quote
This is the true Battlefailed way.

Magma cannons.
It'll only be the Battlefailed way if it fails spectaculary and floods the fort with magma.
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #366 on: November 16, 2010, 04:26:24 pm »

Quote
This is the true Battlefailed way.

Magma cannons.
It'll only be the Battlefailed way if it fails spectaculary and floods the fort with magma.

...Actually, it already managed to flood the fort with water from the aquifer (OH GOD WHY WASN'T I INFORMED THAT IT EXISTS AT ALL) because I wanted to drain water from the ocean to offmap, create flow, and get a semi-legit power source that way.

Hell, I abandoned the magma cannon project to reclaim the aboveground once and for all.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #367 on: November 16, 2010, 06:03:37 pm »

Hehehe, one of the updates mentioned the aquifer flooding the planned dining hall.

EDIT:
While digging the new dining room we encountered a slight problem.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Damnit, aquifier! Luckily no-one drowned, as I had the foresight to install doors.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2010, 06:06:29 pm by Urist Imiknorris »
Logged
Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Oglokoog

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #368 on: November 17, 2010, 09:33:58 am »

Hehehe, one of the updates mentioned the aquifer flooding the planned dining hall.

EDIT:
While digging the new dining room we encountered a slight problem.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Damnit, aquifier! Luckily no-one drowned, as I had the foresight to install doors.
Yeah, I noticed that when I was playing. Was wondering how it happened, now I know  :D
Logged
So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

Mekboy

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #369 on: November 17, 2010, 02:48:38 pm »

Ah, that aquifier was fun.
I forgot we had it, so this is pretty much what happened:
'Digging designation cancelled: damp stone'
"I wonder what that's from. Maybe I should make a ramp up to see...
ohgodwhy."
Logged
Quote from: CatalystParadox
Aw, Mekboy! A song for meeeee?
You're so sweet.  Why don't you just come in here so I can give you a hug.
... bring my pants.
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
You seem to be under the illusion that we give a shit about what happens to dwarves who are too dumb to live.

SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #370 on: November 20, 2010, 03:17:49 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

edit: spoil'd for length
« Last Edit: November 20, 2010, 06:09:35 pm by SethCreiyd »
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Tupu

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #371 on: November 21, 2010, 05:20:39 pm »

I've finally managed to read both battlefailed and the Failcannon up till now :D Have to say, they are an amazing read.
 I think I've been reading them for a week now...


You can add me to the most likely long list of lurkers waiting for dorfing.

name: Tupu
profession: military (any weapon goes, as long as it's a weapon...) or anything you'd prefer

EDIT: This is actually my first community/succession fort that wasn't finished when I got to the end....
« Last Edit: November 21, 2010, 05:22:42 pm by Tupu »
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"Histories of Greed and Labor"

LordSlowpoke

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #372 on: November 22, 2010, 09:01:41 am »

Quote
This one, I will write on paper form. The machine is broken hopelessly.

This is I, Lord Slowpoke, at 22 Sandstone. Pretty much my last report as the overseer.

While the Protocol granted me many powers, which I am still unable to fully describe... the occult have been coming. Ghostkind, to be specific. Dreams which I can't understand at all, which forced me to double my booze intake.

Nevertheless, the grandiose plan of reclaiming the aboveground is far from complete. We do not simply have the resources to pump magma to the essential systems, and water proved to be ineffective - the installation has been dismantled and forgotten, yet the invading goblins and kobolds have been dispatched once more.

Today, I am finished with the mechanisms, the plans, the eternal schemes. I have earned my title. I have earned everything I needed in life, until now. It is time to don the finest armor and weapons I can find, and become not just Lord Slowpoke.

I am become The Great.

The Savior of Dwarfkind is just too overused.

-LordSlowpoke
« Last Edit: November 22, 2010, 03:31:09 pm by LordSlowpoke »
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #373 on: November 22, 2010, 03:33:22 pm »

Okay! I'll take this occassion to doublepost to make a summary of my reign.

Total dwarven deaths - 13, none of those were really important.

Total deaths - about 160, 180.

Artifacts produced - two, moods failed - one.

The rest's available on the spot at the save.

Cheers.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #374 on: November 22, 2010, 09:27:24 pm »

PM'd dragonshardz. Updated OPs.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!
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