Journal of Catalyst, Elven Studies MajorI must tell you a secret. I am not like other dwarfs.
From the day I was born I have had... a talent. To the elves it is a "gift", but what would you expect from a race that thinks chewing on their dead siblings raw toes is a good way to "return them to nature" anyway? For any dwarf, this ability is a curse.
I can read minds.
Well, okay, so its not quite so dramatic as that. Those words make it sound so clear, when in truth the minds of men and dwarves are murkier than the Blueness. I can sense moods, feel a person's good or bad thoughts, just by looking at them. Sometimes I get glimpses of what they're doing, from far away. I dreamed about the riots every night, along the whole journey to Failcannon, you see - how else could I have known in such detail what transpired?
This may sound useful to you but... try to imagine, for a moment, what it would really be like. It cannot be turned off. You can hear and feel all the minds around you - the mad ones, the despairing ones, the fey ones, the drunk ones and the ecstatic ones and those so hardened by the horrors they have seen they feel as blank and stark as fresh-forged steel. Constantly.
Truly, Hell is other dwarves.
When I came to Failcannon, I already knew their fears, their anger, their hopes and their despair. I knew about the riots, of course, and that an emergency election would soon be called in response, as some shouted that not only did Mekboy not do enough, as Mayor, to prevent the riots, but also participated in them.
Sharing my secret with you serves two purposes. First, so you may understand how I so easily assuaged the fears of these poor dwarves even as I played on them. But second, and more importantly, so you understand that I did not want this. Personal gain was the furthest thing from my mind, and I still feel terrible for exploiting their trust. But Failcannon was tearing itself apart from within - and it seemed I was the only one with the power to heal it.
It was Ledi V who met us as we arrived, and gave us our tour of Upper Failcannon. Once we spoke of the current state of the settlment, she was easily persuaded to call for the vote herself. After that, debating Mekboy was no trouble - anticipating every talking point he had left him flustered, and I have always exuded a perfect calm that I seldom feel.
Once duly elected Mayor, I assigned myself the now-abandoned quarters in a tower with green glass windows overlooking the viscous, roiling waves of the Blueness of Malodors - a place I can be away from the others and have some peace. A lonely, grim sort of accomodations, but they are my only respite.
My first acts as mayor were to make a few restructurings to the military - then, I assigned the Rough Tightnesses, the Hollow Hammers, and the Paddles of Disembowelment (under the command of such great warriors as Tupu and Mipe) to cancel their standing orders to guard the hospital, and instead to gather and inform the newly appointed soldiers of the Bronze Shoves of their new orders - to guard the sea.
Keltiknight and Katsuun were with Flagrarus when he went to inform Takua of his duties. Takua, despite lying in a rubbish heap for the month previous to this, crippled and dying, resisted. And suddenly, the terrible truth behind the riots was clear. No sooner had Takua touched Katsuun, but she too joined in combat against Keltiknight!
This was no mere rebellion, but possession at the hands of the demon-queen and her servitors! This "Enchanted Labor of Treaties" were her mind-slaves, infesting our fortress! I shouted for the military to retreat at once... but soon, DuckThatQuacks was emerging from below, and I heard the sounds of battle coming from the Hospital. Greader had been hiding in a food stockpile nearby for days, waiting for the guard to be distracted. He was locked in battle with Elderont - good. Elderont was capable, he should make short work of Greader, gods willing. While Keltiknight beat Takua senseless with a silver flask, below we heard the constant clang of DuckThatQuacks axe against poor unconscious lupusater's helm... Lupusater, who somehow managed to escape the entire affair unscathed, despite quite literally DAYS of being bashed by Duck.
Takua finally succumbed to the beating, with neither of the two guardsmen affected by Led's curse. Katsuun was struck down by a swift blow from ThatAussieDwarf's pick, on her way to the sea.
Flagrarus, however, had been infected by the curse, and soon joined in combat with ThatAussieDwarf as well. That left Duck and Greader - ever the most dangerous of the lot.
Elderont never managed to rouse from his sleep as Greader beat him with the butt of his crossbow, but lay there peacefull as he was thumped for perhaps a week, as if the crushing blows were naught but taps. I consider him a hero for serving as so effective a distraction.
Greader then moved on to fight Mipe - who also seemed unable to rouse. The surviving military immediately scrambled, and a bloodbath ensued in the hospital. Greader was struck down - but not before spreading the curse again - somehow all the way to Ledi, who was on her way to assist. I ordered the military to withdraw, again, and hole up in the hospital. Unlike the battle that we fought there, we could afford to let this play out.
Elsewhere, The True Mekboy, coming to help the rest in the hospital, chanced across Duck, still beating Lupusater, and unfortunately attracted his attention. Mekboy died swiftly, and Duck resumed what was rapidly becoming his full time profession. Lupusater was dreaming peacefully.
I, meanwhile, was meeting with ThatAussieDwarf. Discussing... strategy. Well, an exit strategy, at least. I figured if anyone here had an emergency get-the-hell-out-of-dodge plan in reserve for situations like this, it would be him. And lo, he did have a plan! One... slightly too convoluted to spell out here, but... Well. It starts like this:
I think you can imagine the rest.
Both Ledi and Duck continue to stab ineffectually at their opponents adamantine helms. The fort is at an impasse for now... And my !!plan!! is at a standstill.
~
8th Felsite, Year 535-----------
Sorry to leave things still unresolved, but I'm getting exhausted. It's slow going as I try to document these fast-paced events, and moreso as I try to do ANYTHING I possibly can to stop them. Sending the guard is a poor idea, as thoroughly demonstrated, but I can't prevent the fights anyway because there are injured dwarves laying about most of the fortress anyway! If I can just wait it out until the last 2 rebels finally finish beating on those poor immortal adamantine-helmed bastards, I might still be able to implement some variant of The Plan, and be rid of them for good and all.Edit: Oh, and it doesn't help that both the fights are taking place in food stockpiles.Seth, if you actually did cause this deliberately, you are a magnificent bastard and I love you.Current Population - 26 Dwarves
Aik
arcangelsd
Catalyst
Darvi
DorvenEngineering
DuckThatQuacks (rebel)
Flagrarus(rebel)
Gilgameshclone
Glacial
Grov
Kaamanen
Karakzon
Keltiknight
Ledi V(rebel)
LordSlowpoke
Lupusater (immortal punching bag)
Megaman3321
Mipe
Mormota
Nightmarebros
Seraphin
Sprout
That Aussie Dwarf
Tupu (lazy bastard)
Uristein
Xenos (immortal punching bag jr.)
Poll
281 (87.8%)
Author
Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2) (Read 939090 times)