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[Dahenk]

With the new combat report system in DF I have noticed some very cool/funny/neat fights but I had this one poor goblin who would just never die:


It started with a goblin siege and there was a squad of mainly hammergoblins standing just outside my already retracted bridge waiting for sunny days or something...
one of my marksdwarves fired a bolt in his leg and he started limping away.

After butchering the rest of the squad while he was slowly trying to flee I decided to send the whole marksdwarf squad to finish him off while the axelords/swordmasters cleaned up some other squads.

Before anyone could reach him he had slowly crawled to the edge of the map, only about 5 squares from the edge and freedom, leaving a long trail of blood behind him.
The first thing to reach him was a war elephant. Seeing how the goblin crawled away he decided to stop him by stomping on his legs with continous kicking.
The goblin went unconscious as his legs was smeared into a big red pancake on the grass. After a little while he actually woke up, and the first thing he sees is an elephant stomping him in the head, fracturing the skull.
This is when the first marksdwarf is in range and starts target practicing on the little fellow. He nails him a couple of times and a few seconds later
another war elephant arrives wasting no time and helps his fellow brother by stomping the legs to a now thin red film on the ground.
Would you belive it that the goblin suddenly regains consciousness AGAIN (his head actually healed to white again) and stands up...

...only to attract a war dog to the scene who starts chewing on his stomach.
Two more marksdwarves and another dog arrives to the mince-meat party. The goblin now has eight steel bolts stuck in various parts of his body but still manages to crawl 2 squares closer to the edge.
The elephants lifts him up by the teeth (wtf?) several times, while the dogs are firmly latched on to his body, shaking him around.
I decide to put him out of his misery and call one of the axe lords over who just cuts off one of his legs (if you can still call it that), but then ends it with a decapitation.

Spoiler: Not a spoiler, just a picture (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Not a spoiler, just a picture (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Not a spoiler, just a picture (click to show/hide)

Poor Menacebuds, such willpower is hard to find


I also like this fight even though it was alot shorter. I just like how totally one-sided it was and i could really picture the scene of the fearless troglodyte in front of me

Spoiler: Not a spoiler, just a picture (click to show/hide)

So what are your most painful deaths?
Watching stuff die in various ways is one of the main features in DF after all

[Yuck]

I would like to point out that in the last spoiler..... he stabbed the troll with a sword...... in the eye.... from behind.

[Josephus]

I would like to point out that in the last spoiler..... he stabbed the troll with a sword...... in the eye.... from behind.

Yeesh, that sounds incredibly painful. And difficult.

[Zaik]

Most painful death i've ever seen is when a puppy wandered into my recruit training room with 4x training spear traps going nonstop.

3 legs, 3 paws broken, upper and lower body broken, head bruised, lungs busted, guts hanging out, eyes gouged out. Spatters of dog blood everywhere.

He managed to drag himself about 6 tiles away from the room before finally dropping for good.

It's kind of a shame, he would have been a hell of a war dog with that kind of determination.

[mnjiman]

I had a dwarf lay in bed for several years, unable to see anything or move after a war injury to the face and back.

He could though, feel everything still. I knew this because he was in horrific pain the entire time.

[Tarran]

Here's mine:

Warning: Big brick of detailed in-combat text ahoy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So I've now got two forgotten beasts that aren't doing anything, so I decide it's okay to let my dwarves roam around the caverns. I was wrong.

One of the forgotten beasts just attacked one of my dwarves, however, this one is an off duty military dwarf, thus he has an axe and a shield, and is also activated when I order a kill order on the beast.

But before he can close into melee, he gets hit by the beast's fireball. And can you guess where it hits?

His right testicle, which is now bruised and smashed open at the same time. OUCH! That's gotta hurt.

Ooh, he's loosing the melee badly... His lung was bruised and he suffered lots of damage to his body.

Oh goddamn the forgotten beast just kicked his already badly hurt right testicle!

Hell yeah! He broke open the beast's shell! Kick his ass! Yes! He hit the beast's body! It's now spewing blood!

He's now running away, and his pet roster is trying to come to his aid!

While he was being chased, he managed to land another blow, this time on the beast's right front leg! Actually, they now appear to be in melee, as my dwarf landed another blow with his axe on the beast's body, which is now gouting and running blood! The beast throws a blow and fires a fireball, but my dwarf is unharmed! He landed a blow on the beast's left rear leg and opened an artery!

Oh no! My dwarf took a hit to the upper body, and got his liver bruised and skin shattered! Not looking too good for my dwarf...

My dwarf's roster gets between the beast and his master! The beast collides with the roster and pushes it over! Oh dear, the roster just got hit badly and is propelled away by the blow! Ah crap, the beast is breathing fire, but my dwarf blocks it twice! The poor roster is battered even more by the beast. And the roster finally dies.

Reinforcements are on the way, but they will they be fast enough to save the poor dwarf?

Oh no, the beast latches on to the dwarf's upper body, but my dwarf isn't easily beaten, as he hacks away at the beast's shell once again, fracturing it! The beast breaths fire at my dwarf, but he blocks it. My dwarf retaliates by hacking at the left rear leg again, tearing the muscle! The beast then charges at my dwarf and knocks him over! Oh freck, the beast kicks my dwarf again, this time in the lower body, bruising the guts. Oh no! He kicked my dwarf in the left lower leg, shattering the bone, and tearing a ligament! Oh god, the beast hit my dwarf's right upper arm, jamming the bone through the right shoulder's muscle and shattering the right shoulder's bone, it also opened an artery and tore a ligament and tendon... But my badass dwarf still stands up! And dodges a charge by the beast! Twice! And my dwarf fights back, hacking at at the lower body from behind and tearing the scale! The beast tries to rush my dwarf, but the beast rushes past him. The beast collides with my dwarf, knocking him over. OH MY DEAR GOD! HE BIT ON MY DWARF'S LEFT TESTICLE AND LATCHED ON! That's got to hurt, bad. But once again my dwarf is a freaking badass and stands up! However, the beast collides with my dwarf again, knocking him over again. My dwarf slaps the beast on the left rear leg to no effect. Ack, the beast kicked my dwarf in the right upper leg, shattering the bone and tearing a tendon! The beast strikes, but my dwarf blocks it! My dwarf then hacks at the shell again, shattering it a second time! And then he stands up again, the beast tries to rush him but he dodges, and then the beast tries to rush him again, but rushes by. The beast, once again, knocks my dwarf down. Oh man, my dwarf was kicked in the upper right leg, jamming the bone through the right hip's muscle and shattering the right hip bone, opening a artery, tearing a ligament and a tendon. My dwarf blocks another blow despite him being severely wounded.

Oh the dwarfmanity, the poor dwarf is still being battered, his friends are still too far away! Oh my god, he lost a leg, but his friends are almost there! Yes, they're there, they're trying to save their poor friend! And they're definitely pissed, they've literally knocked the shell off the beast! And they've killed it! ...But were they fast enough to save their friend?

He's in the hospital. Will he survive? Will he ever be able to fight ever again? Find out, next time on... Whatever the frick this is!

...I think I was a bit excessive. Oh well, don't care.

Oh and if you're wondering, I'm playing Deon's Genesis mod.

He didn't die right there fighting, and he actually managed to stay alive, but he would have surely died in either due to the tantrum spiral, the three forgotten beasts were destroying my fort or the DFhack induced fortress magma death (since I was impatient, and wasn't willing to wait forever for either the spiral or the beasts to kill my dwarves). So I don't know how he died, but I'm sure it was painful nonetheless.

[Internet Kraken]

While according to the combat log it really wasn't an exceptionally bizarre death, to me this seems like an absolutely horrifying way to die.

My beds are located on a floor built directly over a terrifying ocean. This means that undead fish have the potential to climb onto it and attack dwarves, thought that's never happened until recently. A zombie manta ray crawled onto the floor and attacked a sleeping dwarf. Manta rays don't have any method of attacking, all they can do is "push" stuff. I interpreted that as crushing enemies with its body mass. So I got the mental image of this massive manta ray throwing itself onto the bed and crushing the dwarf sleeping on it. It ultimately ended with the dwarves skull being shoved through his brain. To me that seems like a horrible way to die.

[Maulrus]

I just started up my first .31 fort in several months, so I don't have any great stories. There is one that almost qualifies, though:

About two years into my fort, a dorf got very sad due to lack of booze and tantrummed a few times. He minorly injured maybe 5 other dorfs. They all were fine, and he got better, and everything was okay. Then, about a year later, I decided to appoint our first sheriff. His first order of business is completely kicking the shit out of this guy for what he did. Now, this sheriff was not a fighting dorf, and the only reason he was sheriff was because he wasn't doing anything else. However he still managed to PULVERIZE the former criminal dorf. I don't remember the whole combat report, but I do recall one point when he punched this dorf so hard that his rib broke off and mangled his liver. His liver. The poor dorf had nothing to live for at that point, and after a few more days of vigorous beating he died.

[theqmann]

I just had a FB grab a dorf by the arm, shake the dorf, ripping off his arm and flinging him against a wall, instantly killing him. 

[Ten_Tacles]

Well, I had once some fun with modding.
And then striped every body part from a yeti.
He was then arranged on a nice 7*7 flatland.
That MUST have been a painful death, slowly loosing all toes, fingers, legs, ears, the nose, the teeth, the arms, and legs.
And then his head.

[shadowform]

To the contrary of this threads original intent, the new combat system has also produced some epic fights.

I had a reptile man named Swambook that took out two forgotten beasts (a towering mite and a fire-breathing porcupine), which brought both his shield and spear into semi-artifact 'named' status, then engaged in a duel with a third fire-breathing six-legged monstrous crocodile that lasted for the duration of the fort, until I abandoned it to move on with my 'kingdom' project.  The coolest part about that was that I would periodically get messages about the FB becoming enraged / no longer being enraged, so it was really easy to imagine that for the forts entire lifespan, there will be the sounds of this epic conflict taking place coming from the caverns and echoing throughout the fortress.

[Lytha]

The most painful death I've seen in DF so far must've been that Skinless Elephant Forgotten Beast who attacked the tribe of Cave Fishes (humanoid shaped with a cave fish head, wielding mostly spears.)

He was huge, the Cave Fishes were small, so most of their attacks maimed just those bodyparts of his that were actually within the reach of their spears: His feet, legs, his lower torso. His trunk was being ripped off very early on.

Unluckily for this elephant was that the surviving two of the Cave Fishes were quite resilient, as they dodged most of his stomps. And they developed amazing wrestling and dodging skills during the half an hour or so that the combat lasted, so he never really stood much of a chance in the end, even though he managed to kill one of these two after a while.

Anyway, his list of injuries covered a lot of pages of his description.

With all those broken and fractured toes, feet and legs, as well as the cracked skull, I am sure that he died a very painful death, until the last Cave Fish woman finally bashed and bruised his heart.

[Dahenk]

I would like to point out that in the last spoiler..... he stabbed the troll with a sword...... in the eye.... from behind.

Haha yeah i thought about how that would look like for a while.
Either he stabbed the sword through the back of his head into the right eye, but that would probably have killed him instantly.
Or he stood behind him and reached infront of the troglodyte with the sword and stabbed towards himself so to speak.

ofc the lodging part makes it just so much more... juicy...

[necrodoom]

one of my forts got bugged...

*dwarf tries to attack badly injured skeletal marmot*

*skeletal marmot tries to "push" the dwarf, dwarf dodges into open space, 1 z level fall*

*dwarf gets hurt a little, goes back to the marmot, marmot tries to push him, dwarf dodges down*

this repeats a hundred times until dwarf dies of bleeding..

im NEVER, EVER using military again.

[BCPowers]

I like to read funny combat reports so I often pit monsters against each other in arena testing and there was this one fight that was exceptionally funny/brutal. It was a bronze collosus vs a male dragon. Bronze collosus charges the dragon and knocked him over. He then proceeded to grab the dragon's back left 3rd toe. Realizeing how unaffective this particular hold is he decided to grab the dragon's head. He then repeated to gouge out the dragons left and right eye out for many MANY pages untill the dragon finally bled to death.