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Author Topic: Shortest Lived Forts  (Read 45068 times)

NewSheoth

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #75 on: October 30, 2010, 10:38:09 am »

Unsurprisingly, my first fort. I embarked in a temperate valley in the mountains, with no water save for two ponds. I didn't know much back then, and for some reason the dwarves didn't connect the floodgate in the irrigation system to the lever. So I never managed to build farms, as there was too much water from the ponds in the room I dug out for them. I managed to subsist on trade until next winter, but then the ponds froze, my brew'd run out and thirst got my fort good.
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" It... it's finally over. Oh Armok it was like the end of days in some kind of gristly death bathtub of untold horror and wow that is a nice waterfall."
Embarked on a haunted volcano. I am currently terrorized by skeletal alligators.

Musashi

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #76 on: October 30, 2010, 11:00:50 am »

One of the first few times, buzzards started stealing plump helmets. Then, more plump helmets. Then, my pick. Then, my meat. Then...
I abandoned the fortress after 2 minutes of this. It literally took the damn birds a couple frames to put their talons on my stuff.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

nordak

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #77 on: October 30, 2010, 11:14:57 am »

Zombie giant eagle, managed to knock it's legs off but it killed everyone. Took about 2 weeks for it to hunt down the non-military dwarves.  I always start with a couple military dwarves in "dangerous" biomes. But it never really helps.
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Exerpt from townbrush.txt by Internet Kraken:

"Nobody wants to live in Townbrush, and for good reason. Almost everyone that has come to Townbrush has been eaten, stabbed, crushed, drowned, hacked, incinerated, or beaten to death with an octopre skin backpack. When we're not under siege, we're being attacked by Forgotten Beasts. And when we're not being attacked by Forgotten Beasts, there's probably a zombie whale crushing someone to death in the dining room."

GaxkangtheUnbound

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #78 on: October 30, 2010, 12:34:36 pm »

Zombie giant eagle, managed to knock it's legs off but it killed everyone. Took about 2 weeks for it to hunt down the non-military dwarves.  I always start with a couple military dwarves in "dangerous" biomes. But it never really helps.
My swordsmen finish it off with a single swipe.
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Proud of my heritage.
Prepare to lose your sanity.

_DivideByZero_

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #79 on: October 30, 2010, 03:10:19 pm »

Both of my miners were encased in ice while trying to dig through a double aquafier.
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Acperience

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #80 on: October 30, 2010, 03:33:38 pm »

Started near a bend in a Temperate River biome, 6 alligators were within a dozen tiles of the wagon and they immediately attacked my tasty, tasty dwarves. The entire party was slaughtered in a few frames, mostly from 1 or 2 attacks that led to blood loss deaths.
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Deimos56

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #81 on: October 30, 2010, 04:37:40 pm »

I believe the reward goes to one of my latest forts, which looked like it was doing so well.
Until winter came, the river partially froze, and my well spontaneously decided it didn't like me. (Read: the brook redirected into my fortress since it only froze downstream.)
...This doesn't count a number of forts that died fps deaths. Or sheer 'oh dear I've done something incredibly stupid' deaths.
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I'm curious what the barely conscious ai wrote about.
Well that went better than expected.  He went nuts and punched a rabbit to death, then the dogs and the whole dining hall ripped him to shreds.

Gr33kjester

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #82 on: October 30, 2010, 06:05:23 pm »

first fort in 31.xx, I didn't know about the caverns, or the Cotton Candy , lets just say the clowns had a day out from the circus...
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This is an enscribed adamantine dwarf-leg hammer.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It menaces with spikes OF SHEER AWESOMENESS.

NewSheoth

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #83 on: October 30, 2010, 06:06:55 pm »

I believe my latest fort counts too. Two years, got butchered by a lone ambush due to getting distracted by shiny construction and not setting up proper defenses.
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" It... it's finally over. Oh Armok it was like the end of days in some kind of gristly death bathtub of untold horror and wow that is a nice waterfall."
Embarked on a haunted volcano. I am currently terrorized by skeletal alligators.

Cyroth

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #84 on: October 30, 2010, 06:20:16 pm »

I once embarked in a mixed haunted biome (some forests, shrublands and I think mountains, all evil), and my dwarfs started directly on a group of skeletal deer. some frames later all my dwarfs were dead.
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Demons are preferable to ravens.
A noble just suffered a genuine unfortunate accident.
Has that ever happened before?

NewSheoth

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #85 on: October 30, 2010, 06:25:23 pm »

Oh deer.
Deer manage to be an even greater nuisance to me than elephants (in their own biomes, that is). A deer managed to slip inside one of my fortresses and into my magma industry halls once and stalled all production for a season or more. Also managed to wound some dwarves when they bumped into it. An elephant slipped into another fort, and ran away to a long backup tunnel (instead of goring everyone once cornered, as I expected).
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" It... it's finally over. Oh Armok it was like the end of days in some kind of gristly death bathtub of untold horror and wow that is a nice waterfall."
Embarked on a haunted volcano. I am currently terrorized by skeletal alligators.

Musashi

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #86 on: October 30, 2010, 06:40:55 pm »

Oh deer.
Deer manage to be an even greater nuisance to me than elephants (in their own biomes, that is). A deer managed to slip inside one of my fortresses and into my magma industry halls once and stalled all production for a season or more. Also managed to wound some dwarves when they bumped into it. An elephant slipped into another fort, and ran away to a long backup tunnel (instead of goring everyone once cornered, as I expected).
I read your deer, and I raise you llamas.
I've had goblin thieves less dangerous than them.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

veok

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #87 on: October 30, 2010, 06:45:18 pm »

Oh deer.
Deer manage to be an even greater nuisance to me than elephants (in their own biomes, that is). A deer managed to slip inside one of my fortresses and into my magma industry halls once and stalled all production for a season or more. Also managed to wound some dwarves when they bumped into it. An elephant slipped into another fort, and ran away to a long backup tunnel (instead of goring everyone once cornered, as I expected).
I read your deer, and I raise you llamas.
I've had goblin thieves less dangerous than them.

I'll call your llama and raise you walruses. Yes, mother ****ing walruses stormed in through my well room, fatally gored my expedition leader, and danced off into the frosty tundra to sing happy walrus songs about oysters.
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Musashi

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #88 on: October 30, 2010, 06:48:26 pm »

Alright, walruses > llamas, you win.
I dread the day I will end up in a map populated by these. *shudders*
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

veok

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Re: Shortest Lived Forts
« Reply #89 on: October 30, 2010, 06:57:42 pm »

They're the elephants of the arctic ocean, I tells ya!
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