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[Max™]

Well... I saw this thumbnail in a thread on another board.

I'll set the scene: typical customer for starbucks, i.e. some dumb white chick
in the thumb you can see her leaning up against the counter
title is "Starbucks poop"
...god dammit I don't want to click this and watch her shit her pants
do I?
ok... she's pissed off to start with
maybe she already did it?
...
wait why is she taking the sweater around her waist off
...
why is she undoing her pants
...
oh god is she actually pressing her ass against the wall
...she is
ok mr barista is coming over to stop her
...or not
...
...
...oh god she did it
I mean, I think they make comment cards for exactly this reason right
...wait don't pick it up
SHE THREW IT?
maybe comment cards won't quite cut it after all
...

Then I sat here processing this for a good minute, it was disgusting right away... but then I noticed there were other customers sitting at the tables in view and at least one of them had to have seen this clearly...

...but then my mind broke because I found myself asking a very important question: did she hit him?

I'm dizzy and shaky from laughing but I can function well enough to type this out I think.

[Reelya]

I think it's fake luckily, there's a video of it, she poops, a long poop just falls out instantly instead of being excreted over time. If you really pooped that fast, it would have exploded out, like a veritable poop shotgun, not come out in a long rope.

Then she picks up the poop and throws it. It's a long poop, she grabs it in the middle and just throws it, yet none is left behind. e.g. it's a long floppy poop that somehow doesn't come to bits when you pick it up in the middle.

Real poop physics just doesn't work this way.

[Kagus]

I saw it pop up as being in a Tim Horton's, not Starbucks. I suppose the moral of the story is the same though.

[scriver]

That's a shit moral, peoiple.

[TamerVirus]

Never go full chimpanzee. I have zero clue what went wrong in a Tim Horton's to make someone mad enough to chuck their own shit like a goddamn ape.

[Tack]

Yeah, apparently the Tim Hortons have implemented a rule that you need a staff key in order to use the restrooms because people were using them to shoot meth.
So this lady got refused access and showed them that she had a legitimate reason other than drugs.

[pisskop]

That . . . seems like an overreaction to being denied the restroom.  And as a customer she should have been let in . . .?

[Imic]

Never go full chimpanzee. I have zero clue what went wrong in a Tim Horton's to make someone mad enough to chuck their own shit like a goddamn ape.

Sigged

[Tack]

That . . . seems like an overreaction to being denied the restroom.  And as a customer she should have been let in . . .?

Unless she was clearly on drugs and unless she was clearly on drugs.

[martinuzz]

What? How could that happen in the US? I thought every US citizen over the age of 5 carried a shotgun loaded with rock salt to prevent exactly that kind of situation.
I am this a point.

[Doomblade187]

What? How could that happen in the US? I thought every US citizen over the age of 5 carried a shotgun loaded with rock salt to prevent exactly that kind of situation.
I am this a point.

Once you reach age ten, you get rubber coated pellets!

[TamerVirus]

I thought every US citizen over the age of 5 carried a shotgun loaded with rock salt to prevent exactly that kind of situation.

Oh silly, rock salt guns are really only used to kill mosquitos and flies, or season ribeye steaks.
They are definitely not used to 'shoot the shit(ter)'

We use Glocks for that

[Lord Shonus]

Onion is life.

I have never heard of cilantro.

Cilantro is coriander/koriander.

In North American English, coriander is the seed and cilantro is the plant. This is a development of the heavy use of cilantro leaves in Mexican cooking, as cilantro is the Spanish name of the plant.

[martinuzz]

Over here, we use 'koriander' for the leaves as well as the seeds, but we also have the Indonesian name 'ketumbar' for the powder made from seeds.

[scriver]

Koriander, fresh koriander, and ground koriander