Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[penguinofhonor]

Meet Etur Aniltulon, one of Angrybees' finest soldiers. Completely unarmed and unarmored, Etur is a fighter, striker, and wrestler only, with no weapon or armor skills to get in the way of his glory. Okay, yeah, there's a better reason he doesn't have any of that - he can't. Etur has no hands, so he can't pick any of that stuff up to put it on. Both of his hands were cut off a while back by a tantruming soldier after a mass dehydration caused by winter and a lack of a well.

Etur is in the military because it's the only thing he can do - he can't even haul. Enthusiastically, he charges into the military, fighting just as well as the soldiers who have both their extremities and their weapons.

Better yet, Etur is a champion of the fortress. No, not a legendary soldier, but he has likely earned a place in the dwarven hall of fame. Etur, despite having no hands and therefore being as vulnerable as a civilian, has slain both a forgotten beast and a titan. He dodged the poisonous spittle shot by Dak Swimsunk the Clearings of Shell, the giant feathered mite of a forest titan, and struck the final blow against the horrid thing. He defeated Avi the forgotten beast, a skinless alligator. And after he dies, he will rest in a legendary tomb alongside the tombs of the nobility and his memory shall forever remain in the hearts of the dwarves of Angrybees.

[Argonnek]

Looks like he didn't need a hand! *ba dum tish*

_{I'll leave now}

[Untouchable]

So he kicked the shit out of a forbidden beast?

[penguinofhonor]

So he kicked the shit out of a forbidden beast?

And a titan. Oh, the forgotten beast's scales were made out of rock, by the way. And he still busted through it. If he had hands he'd be a great miner, I bet.

[Untouchable]

So he kicked the shit out of a forbidden beast?

And a titan. Oh, the forgotten beast's scales were made out of rock, by the way. And he still busted through it. If he had hands he'd be a great miner, I bet.

Jesus, he's like something out of the most hardcore film of all time.

And  I don't even know what movie that is.

[Max White]

So are you going to assign him, and a single female dwarf, a single small burrow and let them talk for a while? I mean he deserves it...

[Dzenaiya]

well, you said hands so presumably he still has his arms, and I imagine if he can get anything with a vested interest in oxygen into a chokehold, he can win just about anything.

Of course, he may have simply crushed the forgotten beasts with his massive testicles.

Forget a spouse, he needs a full time gonad wrangler.

[Dradym]

oh when he dies you should castrate him and donate his balls to !!science!!

[Max White]

And for once the hideous turn of events wasn't by my hand...

[penguinofhonor]

I'm not sure which dwarven ladies are awesome enough to pair him with. Does sticking them in the same burrow alone work that well? Until I get any ideas, though, I'm leaving him up to his own tastes. He'll probably pair up with one of his sparring partners.

[Max White]

If they have nothing to do but talk to each other, then talk they shall. From then on, it's as simple as playing the sims.

Moral lesson? If you want a girlfreind, lock yourself in the elevator with a cute girl, it's sure to work.

[Musashi]

I have a dwarf heading this way. First, he lost his left upper arm completely. I can't remember when it happened, it was so long ago, and he was one of my first migrants. He was an amazing hammerdwarf. He got an accident 2-3 years ago where he lost the use of his other arm. In the beginning, he was very useless and acted as if it was his ability to stand he had lost for he wouldn't move for days. I only kept him in the army for his dignity, and also because his son was the mayor. Then suddenly, a few days ago, when the worst Forgotten Beast I've had yet to fight arrived, when my meatshields were done buying time, that veteran kicked and bit the damn thing and only got bruised in the process. He wasn't alone to fight the monster at this point, but damn, he's a damn good kicked, and he's only dabbling. Must check if he has at least his armor on.

[penguinofhonor]

If they have nothing to do but talk to each other, then talk they shall. From then on, it's as simple as playing the sims.

I know that, but, like, will any dwarven pairing work with enough talking? I guess barring them developing a grudge against each other.

[Max White]

Even if they grudge, then there talking skills will go up, to a state where they can over come there grudge, and one day still fall in love. A legendary liar can do anything.

[Rhaken]

Of course, he may have simply crushed the forgotten beasts with his massive testicles.

Forget a spouse, he needs a full time gonad wrangler.

Sig'd. Nearly made me fall out of my chair.