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[freeformschooler]

Hello once again! Since cerapa is continuing this elaborate madness, so am I. One of my irons is now out of the fire, and thus, I can run this comfortably. This time it will be not a crypt, though, but something more hilarious.


Many years ago, the EEEEVIL Lord Dredmor was stuffed in a box. However, his devotees have given him power, causing him to rise again and wreak havoc upon the world. The world needs a hero to descend the many levels of Dredmor's dungeon and stuff him in another box.

Unfortunately, this hero is YOU.

Are you a boy or a girl?




HP: 20/20
Level: 0 [0/1]
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: None
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Sword

[The Fool]

Look at those eyebrows. You are clearly the girl.

EDIT: In all seriousness we need a time paradox where Darvi Pooplord returns to save the day, so I'll change my vote to the guy.

[freeformschooler]

Yep, you're definitely a girl.

You have walked down the first set of steps into Lord Dredmor's dungeon. Below said steps lies an empty room with a FOOD VENDING MACHINE and a DRINK VENDING MACHINE. To the west and east are doorways.

What is your name?


HP: 0/20
Level: 0 [0/1]
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: None
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Sword

[Kestrel_6]

Lucy Awesomeness

[Trapezohedron]

Give her a male name. Johnny Pooplord.

[The Fool]

Darvinian Pooplord, sister of Darvi Pooplord. Your parents weren't that creative.

[freeformschooler]

That's right, your name is LUCY POOPLORD, sister of DARVI POOPLORD, who is most certainly alive and probably venturing through some crypt right now. However, you have a more questy quest to quest through.

You heard someone shouting "your father was a lip-eating eyebrow-shaver" through the eastern door.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 20/20
Level: 0 [0/1]
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: None
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Sword

[The Fool]

Listen through the door to figure out how many people are on the other side. If you only hear two people then kick in that door. Show that door who's boss.

[Bdthemag]

Kick in the door without even worrying about the amount of enemies, charge in and go beserker on their asses.

[Criptfeind]

Reach into hammer space and pull out your sword. No one insults the noble profession of eyebrow shaving n your watch!

[Kestrel_6]

Jut use the Thu'um you totally have to FUS RO DAH the door down, and show that guy to NEVER MESS WITH THE POOPLORDS!

[Trapezohedron]

> Attempt the ridiculously unheard of branch of magic: Polymermancy, and go casting synthetic chinese rubber duckies to use as ammunition.

[Errol]

> Kick the door down, then weaponize it against the feeble diggle that is sure to be on the other side!

[freeformschooler]

You listen through the door to see how many awful eyebrow-shaver-insulters are through there. You can't completely tell, but you're guessing one. You kick the door down like a boss, and see a lone Diggle waiting behind it. The Diggle clearly was not expecting company such as you. It starts sweating.

You charge in and go berserk on the Diggle! Your wooden sword goes right through its chest. You pull it out, but the Diggle takes three damage! It starts coughing up dirt. Poor thing.

Reacting to the Diggle's inaction, you grab one of the wooden slabs from the door and smack the diggle around with it. The Diggle takes 2 more damage, collapsing into a pile of failure and low level enemy!

You gain one experience point, which is enough to level up. You have leveled up! You must choose between the following five basic skills:

Swordamancy: You always have time to show them your stabs. +2 to attack rolls with swords.
Axe: The Axening: IT'S AXE TIME. You become one with slasher movie villains by using axes as your signature weapon. +2 to attack rolls with axes.
Can of Mace: Because you never know when the going will get tough. +2 to attack rolls with maces.
Staff Lore: You know a lot of useless information about staves. Thankfully, you know some useful stuff too. +2 to attack rolls with staves.
Bow Crossing: Not respecting crossing bows is a 500 gold penalty. +2 to attack rolls with bows and crossbows.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 25/25
Level: 1 [0/20]
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: None
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Sword

[cerapa]

Bow crossing. Everyone who disrespects our arrows and bows by bleeding on them, will face a fine.

And having "You are in..." be the same universe as Dungeons of Dredmor makes a scary amount of sense.