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[armeggedonCounselor]

Why are all the dwarfs retarded? I restricted them to a burrow encompassing every inch of the fort, and they spam me with job cancellation messages and start starving and dehydrating. I've made sure that there is a path, and still they go NURRRR LET'S ALL STARVE TO DEATH DURRRRR.

So I'm going to build the wall out and include the door in the side of the mountain in it.

ALSO, PUTTING FORTIFICATIONS IN OUR WALL: SUICIDAL. Marksdwarfs are currently bugged, and won't fire through fortifications properly. Additionally, goblins can shoot at us. So I might just rebuild the wall entirely.

[armeggedonCounselor]

Save is up and coming.

Oh by the way, the aforementioned fortifications? Are contributing to the slow deaths by starving almost EVERY DWARF IN THE FORTRESS IS NOW EXPERIENCING.

Because we have a siege, and the goblins have no ranged weapons. So they're just sitting outside picking at their own arseholes while all the dwarfs are cancelling vital tasks, like eating and drinking.

SO HAVE FUN WITH THAT.

There you go.

I don't know, and I don't care who is next. I'm going to go try to save myself.

[armeggedonCounselor]

Bluh. It might be screwed.

[MagmaMan54]

Okay, my turn? Gah.

Okay, let's do this. (rolls up sleeves)

[MagmaMan54]

Journal of "Magma" Circledroads, miner future Imperator Imperator???

Good news everyone! The "Counselor" stepped down and I'm the new Imperator!

Bad news everyone! The "Counselor" stepped down and I'm the new Imperator!

Sooner than I expected, but I've longed for and dreaded this day for a while.

[MagmaMan54]

Okay, I have no idea how to get the fortress into DF. Feel free to skip my turn.

[armeggedonCounselor]

Unzip it into data/save, then go into that file and copy "region 1" out of "New folder" and place it directly into the save directory.

[MagmaMan54]

I tried that, it didn't work. world 1 didn't even show up in the "start new game" menu, and ImpaledFlags definitely didn't show up in the "continue game" menu.

[belik339]

Belik'sImperator Belik's Journal, 1 Granite 325
These people are incompetent! The Counselor has driven this fortress almost into the ground. There are goblins outside besieging the fortress, dwarves are dying left and right, and then she suddenly steps down! Panic ensued!

I think he told Magma that she was the new Imperator, and then she sort of freaked out, collapsed on the ground, and started rabidly muttering something about a "save" and a "zip". I think she's fucking insane.

Anyways, journal, I took over until Magma gets over her little freak-out.

Gotta go restore order now.

[belik339]

Imperator Belik's Journal, 11 Slate 325
They... no....   orders... I.... so.... thirstyyyy.....

Magma.... Imperator.... save... us....
[The word dies out with a scrawl that leads to the bottom of the page]


OOC: Well, that's it. Belik is dead, and with him, probably the fortress too. If anyone wants the save, here ya go:
Download me!

Yeah, armegeddonCounselor, I think you killed the fortress. I don't know what you did or how the fuck you did it, but congrats. You have my official "worst Imperator" award.

[armeggedonCounselor]

Whoa whoa whoa back up. I was not the one who ordered the dwarfs to carve fortifications in our palisade, thereby exposing them to the horrors of the world beyond our walls.

Blame Metalmouth. He was the one who ordered it.

Also, I have an idea. I don't feel like trying it, so I elect someone else to do it. Try having the miners dig a staircase down one level, then connect it to the main entrance, and then make a passage connecting the main entrance to the stockpiles. Forbid the door on the top level, and possibly remove the area enclosed by the palisade from the burrow.

Hopefully they'll be able to figure out the proper path to take, and they can be saved. I tried bumrushing the goblins with everybody, but that lead to too many casualties (including me dying, which is clearly unacceptable). HOPEFULLY, this alternate plan will work.

Eh fuck it I'm gonna go try it.

No good. Our miners all decided to fuck off and go have a drink, and then they saw the goblins and flipped the fuck out, and then got caught in the giant stupidity cycle.

And seriously, this really isn't my fault. I know I said I was gonna fix the with the palisade, but I got two ambushes, two titans and a siege in autumn and winter. I didn't really have a chance to fix anything.

I had kinda hoped the second titan would thin out the goblins a bit, since it appeared right before the siege, but the goblins all completely fucked it up. I don't think it even injured them.

[belik339]

Yeah, I tried digging a tunnel down, but somebody roofed over the entrance and nobody could get in or out. Nobody could remove it because they were too scared.

[armeggedonCounselor]

You mean the roof over the giant pit? Because that definitely isn't blocking any sort of pathing.

Cuz it's been there since the Spring.

[belik339]

Why won't the dwarves go underground then?

[armeggedonCounselor]

Cuz they can see the goblins through the fortifications. Normally it wouldn't be a problem, but for some reason they think there isn't a path up the stairs in the back. So they try to get into the drinks stockpile through the door in the mountain, and then they see the goblins and freak the fuck out.