Gaarhhh! Crap on a stick bag o' boil toe nuggets in a cave dragon's arse! What're ya' tryin' to pull Nix?!
"... just dressing the wound, Quox."
GOZDAMN MY KNEE HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUCH! YOUSE IS TRYIN' TO KILL ME, AINT YA? THIS WAS ALL A SETUP!
"... if you dun't be quiet I'm going to leave you and tend to the troll first."
"RAAAAWWWWWRRRR!"
<"Doctor, please, you must listen to me! I fear I have been infected by the beasts saliva!"> "On the other hand, the troll won't shup up either. I swear to Gozru, what I wouldn't give for some peace an' quiet around 'ere."
AAARRRGH! MY KNEE! I CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE! JUST CUT IT OFF! CUT IT OFF!
"I'm not going to cut your leg off."
WHY DO YOU HATE ME, NIX?! WHHYYYY!?!
"Wait a second, what are you doin'?" "Need to clean your wound, Darx."
"Okay, but where did ya get dat water from?" "Murky pools."
"You wanna clean my wound wid poisonwater? It'll get infected! "Gotta clean the wound an' there's no other water. Maybe get infected if we do. Definitely get infected if we don't."
"Dammit. Arright, fine. But tell Sanctume to dig an accessway into de caverns, soes we can get clean water for next time, at least until the well works. Bloody Quox shoulda done dat months ago."
"Okay, now try the leg. Can you walk?"
Okay, let me try...
[limp] Argh! [limp] Urgh! [limp] Mother o' gozru! [limp] The paaaiiin! [limp]
"Close enough. Here's yer crutch. Now get the fukk outta my hospital."
Your hospital? You're a butcher.
"Bugger off!"
I'm goin' I'm goin'!
[limp] Urg! [limp] Argh! [limp] Eeee! [limp] WHY DOES IT HURT?! [limp]...
"Oi! Quox! Whaddya wanna do with this?" [holds up a mutilated goblin corpse]
Do with 'im? Show a little respect! He bravely served Thunderdoom, The Plague of Modesty an' Gozru 'imself, an' gave 'is life for the cause! We should bury 'im proper!
"..."
... pfft. Heheheh.
"... haha! You almost got me there. Corpse pile?"
Corpse pile.
Arright boys, listen up. I'se gotta keep this quiet so theys dun't know what I'se plannin', see? Arkust an' dat troll... they's got bit. An' I didn't tell ya' earlier, but the stories says if you get bit, youse turn inta one of them every full moon.
"Why din't ya tell us?"
'Cos it's funny. Heheh. They's turn inta
elks for gozru's sake! With
antlers! But anyway, wese either gotta kill 'em, or lock 'em up somewhere theys can't get us when they turn. Idea's?
"Wot about the caverns? We could throw them in an' lock the door."
Yeah, 'cept the caverns are flooded. An' how're we gonna trick 'em down there anyway? Idea's that
work, anyone?
"Arright, well. The troll's the last one left in the hospital room. Wot if we just barricade it in? Nix won't be 'appy, though."
Nix can suck a cave floater, let's do it. We can build 'im a new hospital anyway, that one was shit. What about Arkust?
"I 'unno. Trick 'im inta one o' the spare bedrooms?"
Arright, lets do it.
Haha, 'ave ya seen Darx? 'E's got this huge rash from 'is shoulder all up 'is right side, all bloated up an' lumpy. Looks
hilarious. 'e's probly gonna die.
Sankty!
"Yeah boss?"
You done that well yet?
"Yeah, boss. Just need to add a grate to stop things from gettin' in, then we can fill it."
Youse do that, 'cos when yer done we's gonna spend the rest of winter trainin fer battle.
"Trainin'?" Yeah. We's was total shit in the last fight. If it was the dwarfs wot found us, we'd all be dead.
"How d'you know? You were out cold before it even started."
Youse saying we weren't shit?
"... no, we were pretty shit."
Right. So, trainin'.
"NNNNRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!"
Okay, well I don't know about youse, but that doesn't sound like troll noises to
me. What about Arkust? Didn't 'e turn as well?
"Dun't sound like it. Oi, Arkust! You an elk in there?"
"What? Why would there be an elk in here? Let me out, you arses!"
"'e talks pretty good fer an elk." I don't think 'e's an elk. But don't let 'im out yet, it might be a trick. Arkust! How do we's know youse not an elk?
"I dunno wot yer talkin' about! You said there was gonna be cake in 'ere, you liar!"
Do elks eat cake?
"Dunno." I don't think they do. We can prolly let 'im out.
*CRASH*
Oi, lookit Sanctume ear! What happened to youse?
"Wot?"
I said, what happened to youse!?
"WOT?!?"
I SAID- ah whatever, I don't care.
[sound of rushing water]
Bout damn time! We's needed that well.
"We's not gonna stop makin' booze nows we got water though, right?"
Hell no!
Winter is 'ere.
Ooh, I 'ad an idea about that troll wot is also a wereelk. Take a look, I've drawn a diagram.
I think it might calm 'im down when 'e's in wereelk form? Yes? No? Terrible idea?
Winter caravan 'is here! We's a bit better prepared now. I bet they'll tell Master Gozru all about how awesome our camp is!
Theys brought some good animals too! Shame we can't afford the good stuff yet. All we's got to trade is a few horn bone crafts an' a couple o' meals wit' some fancy garnish on 'em.
Still, Shul-nak managed to get us the helmet snake and a pair o' big rats, in addition to the usual meat-fish-an'-leather resupply.
An now, we's got peace an' quiet for a while.
So I'se trainin' with the lads.
Relaxing.
Not doin' much.
So fukkin bored.
Smug bastards.
Yeah, rub it in why don't ya!
Oi! Anyone know how to read? This shit turned up in the trade depot stockpile. I wanna know what it says!
"Says it's written by Stasost."Stasost? That's the guy wot I made take over brewin' from Rupdeus, innit? Wot's 'e got be writin' about?
"Looks like it's a bunch o' whining about how much 'e hates brewin' an' never want's ta do it again."Wow. What a voracious cave crawlers arsehole. Too much of a wuss to complain to a guy's face, so 'e wraps it up in all this fancy shitty writin' an' leave's it somewhere for 'im ta find! Well, I don't care. 'e'll brew our shit an' like it!
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Topic: Thunderdoom - A Succession Goblin Camp [42.05] (Read 42812 times)