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[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

No Doze, EVEN WITH human consumption, the mass equal to one cake magically appears in the world every 24hr. 
Without human consumption, then on earth (where flat surfaces are plentiful), the cake will geometrically replicate every 24hrs.

With human consumption, the mass of the cake is converted to feces, but does not vanish from the world. the world gets heavier every 24hrs. This is NOT a viable long term storage solution. It merely partially mitigates the danger presented by the keiter cake.

When used as spaceship fuel, the scarcity of flat surfaces to spawn on, and the great distances involved, collaborate to deny the keiter cake the prerequisites it needs to enter uncontrolled geometric replication.  The assured continual generation of mass is what ENABLES it to be used as spaceship fuel.

Nooooo... you're missing something.

Code: (Scenario A) [Select]

One instance of SCP-871 is on a plate. It is crushed by a mechanical hand.
Another instance of SCP-871 instantly reappears on the plate.

If not eaten within 24 hours of the appearance of the [i]first[/i] instance,
the second instance will go through Process M.

Code: (Scenario B) [Select]

One instance of SCP-871 is on a plate. It is eaten by a D-class.
Another instance of SCP-871 reappears on the plate in 24 hours.

This prevents Process M from occurring for another 24 hours.

Code: (Process M) [Select]

One instance of SCP-871 is on a plate.

IF THIS INSTANCE APPEARED AS A RESULT OF SCENARIO B:
It has been 24 hours since this instance appeared.

IF THIS INSTANCE APPEARED AS A RESULT OF SCENARIO A:
The previous instance of SCP-871 is used for determining the time until Process M occurs.
IMPORTANT: If the previous instance [i]also[/i] appeared as a result of Scenario A, use the one before that, and so on.

Another instance of SCP-871 appears alongside SCP-871.
(I have ignored positioning for these scenarios and processes, because they are irrelevant for now.)

Can you see how Process M irrevocably creates a new series of cakes? Now two cakes will need to be eaten every 24 hours, instead of one cake.

Maybe. Depends on the cake. Not all cakes are sheet cakes. The scp says the cake is always cake, but the appearance and type are not predictable. The solution space for fancy cakes is only limited by human imagination, so theoretically most will be fancy cakes, which tend to not be flat.

No - the created cake tends to be similar to the first cake. They are sometimes (5% of the time, roughly) changed greatly, but otherwise have small differences. It is predictable, sort of like how the child of a human is predictable. They will be different, but the child will not be a tomato.


I have a suggestion for a cake propulsion system: containment as usual, but in between the daily eats, a mechanical hand takes the cake, damages it, and then uses it as fuel. Problem solved... sort of.

[wierd]

With those constraints:

Expel human excrement instead of cake.
This ensures that scenario B is always used, but mass generated can still be used as reaction mass.

Scenario A can be used to increase the rate of excrement production for use as reaction mass, or as colonization raw materials. It should never exceed human crew potential to consume.

However, these 3 scenarios do not fully explain how scenario b prevents scenario M.  Specifically, any use of an eating utensil, or failure to eat the cake whole, should result in scenario A, as a partially eaten cake is a damaged cake, as is one cut with a knife, or poked with a fork.
Eg, scenario B should be excluded by rigid application of scenario A. That means if A does not exclude B, that some forms of damage to the cake do not lead to process M.

Other considerations: incorporate "immortal human thoracic system" SCP into the process.

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-541

subject status could change as a result of additional scps being procured. incorporation of clones of scp 541 may assure complete containment of ketercake fuel production without involving the crew.

such as, for instance, using this scp with 541s archival footage documenting full gastric function to create such clones.

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-806

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

Ye gods, you're right! Eating involves crushing the cake, then dissolving it in gastric acid and metabolizing/utilizing the results (and expelling waste). What if I crushed a cake with my teeth, then spat half the cake out?

THIS IS A POORLY-THOUGHT-OUT SKIP

[wierd]

Incorporation of projector clones of the thoracic system, can lead to fully automated processing of the keiter cakes.

The organ system can be grafted to a casing on either end, where excrement is fired from the engine, and the esophageal opening used as the input for the delivered cake. The rest of the organs are supported inside the sealed unit, away from view.

This incorporates a "human", which indeed eats the cake, preventing process M. It may be able to process multiple instances of the keter cake in the 24hr period, and lacking adipose tissues, cannot suffer the same ill effects of excessive cake consumption.

document 2 on the thoracic systems processing of simple foods should provide sufficient archival footage to use the resurrection projector to create clones.






i should write an scp article about a "ship of the damned" scp, made from replicated SCPs, where all the scps involved fully render the whole collection "contained",  but the assemblage is deemed too unsafe to launch, and its creator detained and interrogated indefinately.  (eg, created as a result of a mad researcher violating information compartmntalization, and before he can launch it, being secured, and interogated.)

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

ptw

[Flying Dice]

Oh, and re: the overuse of redacting to substitute for quality writing: Shit idea? Censored page, Problem solved!

[IronTomato]

A long time ago I was thinking about making an SCP which took on the form of an internet forum and was inhabited by a limitless number of individuals named Ethos, although I couldn't think of how to write it or figure out a reason that it might be dangerous. I was thinking about having it be so anyone who was exposed to it for too long would also begin claiming to be Ethos, but that feels unoriginal.

I don't like SCP 682 itself, but reading the log of all of the (failed) attempts to kill it was oddly entertaining.

Oh, and re: the overuse of redacting to substitute for quality writing: Shit idea? Censored page, Problem solved!

This made my day.

[TheBiggerFish]

What, a Pathos shoutout?  Nice.

[Max™]

Fuck that staircase, twice, fuck it with every last creepy fucking thing from the first, oh, let's call it an even five hundred... no, the first thousand SCP's, fuck it right to death... goddamn shit making going downstairs to grab a snack more exciting than it needs to be...

_{razzer frazzer muhfucka gotcher damn flashlight right here big ole' dose of concentrated sunshine stick it right where the sun don't shine neither!}

[Egan_BW]

If you really wanted infinite reaction mass, couldn't you just tell that drink machine thing to make lots of rocket fuel?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

You could, except that the drink machine has a sense of humor.

You'd probably be better off putting rocket engines in 914 on Very Fine until you got what you needed.

[Dorsidwarf]

I quite liked the one that was a gigantic mobile war factory which only wanted to create tanks as an artistic expression and when the Foundation tried to get it to produce Main Battle Tanks it 'protested' by modifying the interiors to be cramped and un-ergodynamic.

[Shadowlord]

You could, except that the drink machine has a sense of humor.

You'd probably be better off putting rocket engines in 914 on Very Fine until you got what you needed.

Warp drive here we come

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I forget what number it is again, but one of the few good recent ones is a completely average, boring SCP that had something to do with a museum and was contained a long time ago.

Except on reviewing the interrogation tapes one of the guys they talked to ended his testimony by asking "Are we cool yet?", and that was years before AWCY ever appeared.

[wierd]

If you really wanted infinite reaction mass, couldn't you just tell that drink machine thing to make lots of rocket fuel?

While many SCPs exhibit endless mass production, and under seemingly easier to contain conditions,
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-109
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-812

the composition of the resulting mass is less interesting, or useful in the scope of establishing human colony sites.

SCP-871 produces "cake."

Cake is, for lack of better descriptor, already perfect biomass in a very low entropy state (contains lots of chemical energy)-- it is immediately consumable, has a high metabolic load value, and it is comprised of a perfect ratio of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. The sponge of the cake contains limited amounts of free nitrogen gas, which is also a useful component, as does the limited protein fraction of the cake. (in normal cake, this comes from the wheat flour's gluten, and from the presence of eggs used to make the cake batter. In the case of this SCP, the cake materializes under unknown circumstances. To my knowledge, no genetic testing has been conducted on the cake to determine if it is indeed made from wheat flour, or chicken eggs.)

Due to the low entropy state, it is highly combustible, liberating significant stored energy per gram.

The resulting biomaterial product of human consumption of the cake is useful industrially in many ways, including production of synthetic graphene, synthetic diamond, chemical denaturation to release useful water, hydrogen, and oxygen, as well as production of a wide assortment of plastics.

As such, the material produced by this SCP is vastly more valuable to space exploration and colonization that that of other SCPs.

Additionally, this SCP is able to perfectly replicate itself, including its replicative powers, which is why it has keter designation, instead of euclid.  This means that it can be replicated and installed inside many, possibly an infinite number, of space vehicles, or at human colony sites.

If coupled with other SCPs, fully autonomous, yet still "contained" systems can be landed on planets lacking sufficient mass to retain proper atmosphere, such as Mars, and rapidly provide the missing solid mass required to make such bodies permanently habitable. Swarms of such terraforming units could be dispatched to locations of interest to great effect to human kind.

For these and numerous other reasons, scp-871 is ideally suited to the purpose for which it is being proposed.